An Ode to the Nice Guys
 

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

Taken from http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

An ex of mine sent me this a while back... take heed nice guys.

1)They add spice to our good girl lives and they make us feel wild and sexy!
2)They excite us because they are so different from us. They’re the guys our parents have warned us about.
3) They put passion into out sometimes boring, structured lifestyle. We can’t resist their appeal.
4) They are the object of our desires and fantasies.
5) They are not afraid to argue with is, and they usually win. We know they won’t come crawling back.
6) They represented rebellion, excitement, and steamy sex all at once. We are under their spell.
7) They are a predator on the prowl. Hungry, unpredictable, and a little bit dangerous.
8) They make us feel sexy merely by the fact that they want us. You’ve got to be hot to catch a bad boy!
9) They have mastered that sly come-hither stare. We’re coming, we’re coming!!!
10) They can sweep us off of our feet before we know what hit us. We love that rush!
11) They are irresistable because they know they’re hot!
12) They don’t ever plan too far in the future. You take what you can get.
13) They know what they want… And they usually get what they want!
14) With they, there’s no such thing as a dull moment! You never know what they’ll do next!
15) They don’t feel tied down to any one woman, and we love the challenge.
16) They don’t always have a plan like most boys do.
17) They’re not afraid to break out of the dating norms. Actually, most dates are just hooking up.
18) The word “insecurity” isn’t in their vocabulary. They don’t care what others think.
19) They don’t make a big deal out of small events (one week anniversaries).
20) You’re thrilled when they remember even big events
21) They are usually strong will and sexually aggressive. Need we say more?
22) They make us feel safe because they’re not intimidated by anyone else.
23) They usually can’t be negotiated with, but when you get your way, it’s way exciting!
24) They are exciting because they’re unpredictable. They keep you on your toes.
25) Not often, but sometimes, they show their sensitive, needy side.
26) They are untouchable for most women. (Well, depending on where you want to touch…)
27) They bring out the sexual animal in us because we don’t feel the need to be “ladylike”.
28) They take charge in all the right ways whether we admit we like it or not!
29)They live life on their own terms. End of story.
30)They can be extremely charming and unquestionable passionate. We love the challenge of reaching them.
31)They act with authority even when they have no right to.
32)They flirt with other women. It drives us crazy and makes us want them more.
33)They can’t be tested. (Or trusted most of the time!)
34)They are independent-with-attitude and throw caution into the wind. Take us, baby!
35)They exude confidence at all times, making even the most secure women try harder.
36)They seduce us without even trying. And we feel like we’ve got to work hard to seduce them at times!
37)They are the right mix of mysteriuos and elusive. We never feel smothered but sort of wish we could.
38)They carry on as if women aren’t important to them. We want to be the one that matters.
39)They have that sexy arrogance that drives us wild!
40)They aren’t afraid to take risks.
41)They whisper sweet nothings into our ears.
42)They encourage us to be a little bit bad. They love it when we’re a lot bad!
43)We can be as obnoxiuos as we want, and we know they will always act worse.
44)They show us a better time than responsible, upstanding guys. We try to fight this guy reaction, but we can’t.
45)They make us feel incredible when they do pay attention to us. The little things matter so much more.
46)They love their lives and aren’t bound by the rules of society. We want to let loose with them.
47)They have a lot of energy, and we can’t wait to see just how they plan to use it!
48)They are always a challenge. Who can resist a challenge?
49)They keep us on our toes and make us less selfish. They won’t put up with it.
50) They are our little “projects” to nurture and change. But if they do, we eventually dump them for another bad boy!
51) They have devilishly playful personalities and a twinkle in their eyes. we never know what they’re really thinking

good grief, you guys hang out with the wrong type of chicks.

While I sympathise with guys who are always the friend, never the boyfriend - remember that you hang out with the people you want to hang out with. Its your choice.

I hear female kendoka are great to be around, good for the ego http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...lies/silly.gif

Bad boys have feelings too.

I'll let them know.

Nice-guys re%.

C H U M P


...........

Blah, the whole nice guys finish last thing irks me. This basically means that one is being a nice guy for some reason other than just being who they are, they assume there is some sort of recompense for being a good guy.

You are either a good guy because that's who you are (in which case, trust me, you don't finish last) or you are just some guy who is trying to hone in on women who have been screwed around by bad boys (in which case yes...you generally DO finish last, at least the rotten arseholes are being honest)



http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...lies/silly.gif

I did read somewhere that expecting good things to happen to oneself simply because one is a good person, is quite like expecting to escape unscathed from a bull-fighting arena simply because one is vegetarian...

Bah, Ive tried "good guys" (doormats with no self esteem, yeeuuch) and "bad boys" (arrogance dressed up as attractive confidence) and Im not a satisfied consumer.

Now Im trying someone normal (my kind of normal, different to yours Im sure). Ill see how that goes.

I understand the good guy thing... too much of a wuss to ask the hottie next door out.. I understand the gal who gets her jollies teasing male hanger-ons.. they were meant for each other and both have what they want.. so what's the rant about?

Hello... I'm a nice guy... I really am... Mr. monogamous... but when I'm single I still have the self assurance to go out there and get what I want. To be fair it's been three years since I was last single, it was my decision to end it and I stand by it, and I've changed a lot... but I'm still self confident enough to walk up to a woman and give her some 'line' to try and at least spark an interest. In my hay day I was a bloody nightmare!!! the Ludacris track 'Area codes' was written about me!!

Now...

I live my life, I go to work, I train, I drink and have fun... you all do I'm sure (as long as your old enough!)... but put down the nice guy card... I repeat I'm a nice guy, I'm no oil painting, I'm not ugly but I ain't David Hasselhoff you dig! at one time in my life I had four girls 'on the go' at the same time... "How can you be a nice guy acting like that" I hear you cry!!! well I never lied to them, I told them it was not serious, it was purely about sex and we were free to see other people!!! It's all about confidence... not in the situation but in yourself... don't make excuses, look yourself in the mirror... go your an ugly !$&$£?... then get drunk enough to not care!! http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ilies/wink.gif once you've started building your confidence it can only go up http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif

p.s. I have people that can corroborate all of this!

Only four?

Only four.

At the same time?

No, only two there! The point is I am a nice guy, but I still have fun! The only reason nice guys tend to have trouble is due to a lack of self astime, the solution I found was alcohol!!!

Edit: poor punctuation!

Self Esteem doesn't have much to do with anything. All that means is you have a good opinion of yourself. You can hate yourself and still find a pretty face to throw money at on the weekends if you want. If your a nice guy and tell the nice girl at the library that you think highly of yourself... well.. now she won't go out with you 'cause you are a self centered egomaniac. If you look at it right.. a lack of self esteem will get you more dates. If you think low of yourself... well then.. you have nothing to lose.. so pick up a book on the Spanish civil war, grab 2 mochas from the library coffee shop and go in for the kill.

That of course would be when she tells you she is allergic to chocolate http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/tongue.gif

No comments............Just a simple thanks...........

lol, if lounge is a nice boy then i am as good as mother teresa http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/bandit.gif

From one "nice guy" to the rest of you.

DON'T FALL FOR THIS, IT'S A TRICK!

This ode is just a wicked ploy to keep you grovelling at their knees. Those Wharton girls will never go out with the likes of you.



Yeah, sure I'm married with kids now, you say. But...

Really, I'm grateful that my wife 'settled' for me.
I'll pretend my feelings aren't hurt when she adamantly insists on turning the lights off in the bedroom. "Don't talk, either", she commands, "You'll ruin my concentration."
I'll pretend I don't hear her moaning "Oh, Brad" or "Oh, Johnny".
I'll pretend the kids aren't freckled redheads. (I'm Asian)

Oh... http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo.../depressed.gif
I think I'm going to curl up on the bathroom floor now and coddle a heatpack to soothe my bruised mangina.





[/end tongue-in-cheek]