[geaveheadeNox]

So the other day a person came to our training for the very first time. Sensei was out, and we were just going through basics with a sempai. So I find myself opposite this guy, and he's having the same struggles that I had on my first day. I'm really new to kendo myself; it was only my third day wearing bogu. But I'm watching him make very simple mistakes, and I tried to help him by pointing it out and repeating some of sensei's words on the subject to him. Struggling, I reach for a different analogy, and then it occurs to me that I am not in a position to really be teaching anything, though it was technically what I was doing. I said to a couple of experienced members nearby "stop me if any of this sounds like bullshit..." and nobody said what I was saying was wrong. But it felt wrong that I would be saying anything at all. It also felt wrong to just stand there as the guy's training partner watching him do things wrong without any sort of comment.

On the other hand, I finally understood and came to trust the ability to strike kote without the need for a closing step from the words and encouragement of an un-ranked fifteen year old young man.

I'm new to martial arts, and all that. Kendo is the first one I've ever done, and I started at 32, last October. But I'm not new to teaching or demonstrating things. The compulsion to share my experience is strong, but the awareness of my inexperience in Kendo, and the formality of martial arts based on rank and experience, gives me pause and makes me feel as if I'm doing something wrong. I didn't want to give this guy the impression that I was one of the club teachers, but he likely didn't know the difference, as I was one of the few people in kendogi and bogu. And as an outgoing, friendly individual I end up talking to people who often assume that I am more "important" than I am, though I don't want to give anybody false impressions or think that I am trying to be "more important" than I am.

Anyway, this has ventured from the comment/question area into a sort of rant. But there it is.

-Max-