[pitoufsd]

I came across this, some of the writing is pure genius. I espcially like the "most helpful critical review."

[Quvwcxqx]

in that case you need a copy of Viz... the letters page follows the same format. Except ruder...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viz_%28...29#Letterbocks

and the worst strip of the lot in Viz... my hero Sid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sid_the_Sexist

[mpxricyNimb]

The cool part...the reviews ARE actually pretty funny. Funny despite the topic at hand was Bic pens. The sad part was, a whole lot of people were on Amazon looking at Bic pens.

[FredderiK]

in that case you need a copy of Viz... the letters page follows the same format. Except ruder...

My favorite bit of Viz was the "Top Tips" section. It had tips like:

"I always carry a lump of lard in my pocket so that if ever my head got stuck in railings I could grease my ears and slide out safely!"

Anyone remember any others??

[opdirorg]

the top money saver.... "tie a piece of string between the bedpost and the toilet. That way you can slide your bum along the string and save cash by not turning on the light! The string can also save you buying toilet paper!"

One by a friend of mine...
"who says you dont have to be big hard and clever to drink ten pints? I am 6 foot six, am a professor at newcastle university, and have a black belt in kendo"..

YES! kendo was mentioned in VIZ!!! Fame at last!

[diundasmink]

Viz was class. My favourite was a special showcasing Roger Melly's profanosaurus...

for those who never read it, it was a thesaurus of imaginative swear words...and I mean imaginative.

[apannamma]

The best Top Tip I remember:

"If you get shot in the chest, lie on one side and that way only one lung will fill with blood."

Awesome.

[rozettasmolanov]

The readers' comments always cracked me up:

"If Buddhists are all in to self denial and such, how come the Buddha was such a fat c*nt?"

Or, the Queen Mother special edition..

"I was surprised to hear that the Queen Mother 'bravely' stayed in her London home during the war... imagine my shame when I discovered that on declaration of war my gradfather immediately pissed off to Belgium, France, Germany...."

Ha, Viz is ace. Drunk Bakers FTW!

[M_Marked]

I remember reading some Viz rant about Britain joining the Euro by some fictitious columnist I forget the name of, the quote was:

"There's only one currency these foreigners understand and we dropped it on Dresden in 1944..."

[CibQueersejer]

I remember reading some Viz rant about Britain joining the Euro by some fictitious columnist I forget the name of, the quote was:

"There's only one currency these foreigners understand and we dropped it on Dresden in 1944..."

That might well have been 'Talking Sense with Charlie Pontoon". Every one of his 'articles' ended with "...so come on Maggie, let's tool up the coppers".

Personal Favourite - Paul Whicker the Tall Vicar who held a F*** the Pope jumble sale to raise money to go to the pub.

[opelayday]

I got my USA mate a Viz annual so he could educate the rest of the American people about what real brit trashy humour is about. Unfortunately he hasn't passed it around as yet....he's stuck on page 1....

[hygtfrdes]

A favourite Top Tip of mine was:

"Avoid farting loudly in public by holding your buttocks apart when breaking wind"

Followed later in the section, from the same sender, by


"Avoid shitting your pants in public by not holding your buttocks apart when breaking wind"


Something along those lines. I'd check for more, but my mother recycled my Viz collection (along with all the porn that was concealed amongst it) pretty much the day after I moved out.