[Idorsearogele]

I don't recall where or when I came across this (Never turn down a request for aid) but it seemed to really help simplify my (calling?) to move into a more of a Bodhisatva Vow.

But I've noticed I've started to add to it in my head. I've added
Never turn down a reasonable request for aid
and then it quickly turns into
Never turn down a request for aid unless someone else is already on it
and then to
turn down a request for aid if you don't feel like dealing with it


With neither sangha or guru or even like minded friends, I can't find a middle way, a balance, that I end up practicing. I do ok with 'never' but less than that, I allow myself to be lazy.

Thoughts? Or maybe this is more of a ramble than a question

Thanks,
Dan

[clubcughSheet]

I think in my case I'd do my best to help if such an occasion arose, but it would have to be a request for something reasonable and also something that I'm capable of doing.

Compassion also needs to be accompanied by a little wisdom and common sense -so I wouldn't buy drugs or alcohol for someone, nor would I be able to jump into deep water to save anybody, because I can't swim !

.

[byncnombmub]

If these would be of any sense to you...

Firstly...
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit...p.12.budd.html
Let one not neglect one's own welfare for the sake of another, however great.
Clearly understanding one's own welfare, let one be intent upon the good. Then this & this

Secondly... But I've noticed I've started to add to it in my head...
http://www.cttbusa.org/42s/42sections.asp
Section 28 Don't Indulge the Wild Mind
The Buddha said, "Be careful not to believe your own mind; your mind is not to be believed.
After you have attained Arhatship, you can believe your own mind." Thirdly...
http://www.dharmaweb.org/index.php/S..._On_Repentance
Learned Audience, all of us have now declared that we vow to deliver an infinite number of sentient beings; but what does that mean?
It does not mean that I, Hui Neng, am going to deliver them.

And who are these sentient beings within our mind?
They are the delusive mind, the deceitful mind, the evil mind, and such like minds -- all these are sentient beings.
Each of them has to deliver himself by means of his own Essence of Mind. Then the deliverance is genuine.

Now, what does it mean to deliver oneself by one's own Essence of Mind?
It means the deliverance of the ignorant, the delusive, and the vexatious beings within our own mind by means of Right Views. Fourthly...as you mentioned on Bodhisattva Vows, here's a sample selection of Bodhisattva Vows as sourced from the Brahma Net Sutra, the extensive version (there are many sources for the Bodhisattva Vows, some extensive and others are more concise)...
http://www.ymba.org/bns/bnsframe.htm
20. Failure to Liberate Sentient Beings
I must therefore always cultivate the practice of liberating sentient beings and enjoin others to do likewise -- as sentient beings are forever reborn, again and again, lifetime after lifetime. If a Bodhisattva sees an animal on the verge of being killed, he must devise a way to rescue and protect it, helping it to escape suffering and death. The disciple should always teach the Bodhisattva precepts to rescue and deliver sentient beings. (65)
65. Note: "If a Bodhisattva sees an animal on the verge of being killed, he must devise a way to rescue and protect it":
Now, if you wish to save a certain being but it's beyond your capacity, then you should singlemindedly recite the Buddha's name.
For example, you may see some pigs or sheep that are about to be slaughtered, and you can't liberate them because you aren't able to buy them all. At this time you should singlemindedly recite the Buddha's name so those creatures can hear it. You can speak Dharma also.
You can say to them, "All of you living beings should bring forth the Bodhi resolve [Bodhi Mind].'"
This is creating causes and conditions for rescuing their wisdom-light (Mind).
Although you are not saving their physical bodies, you are rescuing their wisdom-light. (Master Hui Seng) From a concise version of the Bodhisattva Vows, sourced from Sutra of the Upasaka Precepts...
http://www.sutrasmantras.info/sutra33b.html
Benefiting Both Self and Others
“Good man, a Bodhisattva who has faith should benefit both himself and others. If he benefits only himself, it is not a true self-benefit. Benefiting others is benefiting self. Why? Because if a Bodhisattva-Mahāsattva, to benefit others, does not begrudge his body, life, or wealth, it is called benefiting self. Suppose a Bodhisattva knows that sentient beings would not accept the teachings meant for voice-hearers or Pratyekabuddhas. If he instead teaches them the pleasures of the human and celestial worlds, it is called benefiting others. Benefiting others is benefiting self.

“If a Bodhisattva who cannot benefit both himself and others seeks to benefit himself, he is called a low grade Bodhisattva. Why?
Because such a Bodhisattva has greed for Dharma wealth and cannot benefit even himself.
If a Bodhisattva lets others undergo suffering while he enjoys peace and joy, he cannot benefit others.
If a Bodhisattva fails to give alms, observe the precepts, and hear much of the Dharma, but teaches others, it is called benefiting others but not benefiting self.
If a Bodhisattva equips himself with the five roots of goodness, including faith, then teaches them to others, it is called benefiting both self and others.

“Good man, Good man, one may seek benefits in one’s present life or future lives.
If a Bodhisattva seeks benefits in his present life, it is not called a true benefit.
If he seeks benefits in his future lives, then his effort brings benefits in both his present life and his future lives.
Good man, there are two kinds of happiness and two kinds of merits, the worldly and the supra-worldly.
If a Bodhisattva is equipped with these two kinds of happiness and two kinds of merits to transform sentient beings, it is called benefiting both self and others.

Training to Benefit Both Self and Others
“Good man, if a Bodhisattva is equipped with one dharma, he can benefit both himself and others. This one dharma is self-restraint.
There are another two dharmas to benefit both self and others:
(1) hearing much [of the Dharma]; (2) pondering [the Dharma]

There are another three dharmas to benefit both self and others:
(1) having compassion for sentient beings; (2) making energetic progress; (3) having mindfulness.

There are another four dharmas to benefit both self and others—the four majestic deportments [walking, standing still, sitting, and lying down].

There are another five dharmas to benefit both self and others:
(1) having faith; (2) observing the precepts; (3) hearing much of the Dharma; (4) giving alms; (5) developing wisdom.

There are another six dharmas to benefit both self and others—the six remembrances. [1]
There are another seven dharmas to benefit both self and others—the seven arrogances destroyed. [2]

Good man, suppose in a multitude of śramaṇas, Brahmins, elders, men, and women, there is someone who has faults.
A Bodhisattva should first let him have his way, then expound the Dharma to tame him.
If the Bodhisattva does not first let him have his way and immediately expounds the Dharma to him, such a Bodhisattva is called a low grade Bodhisattva.

Bodhisattvas Who Can Benefit Themselves and Others
“Good man, there are two kinds of Bodhisattvas, those who delight in staying close to beneficent friends and those who do not delight in staying close to beneficent friends. While those who delight in staying close to beneficent friends can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Good man, among those who delight in staying close to beneficent friends, there are two kinds, those who delight in making offerings and those who do not delight in making offerings. While those who delight in making offerings can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who delight in making offerings, there are two kinds, those who intently listen to the Dharma and those who do not intently listen to the Dharma. While those who intently listen to the Dharma can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who intently listen to the Dharma, there are two kinds, those who ask questions and those who do not ask questions. While those who ask questions can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who ask questions about the meaning [of the Dharma], there are two kinds, those who earnestly uphold the meaning and those who do not earnestly uphold the meaning. While those who earnestly uphold the meaning can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who earnestly uphold the meaning, there are two kinds, those who ponder the meaning and those who do not ponder the meaning. While those who ponder the meaning can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who ponder the meaning, there are two kinds, those who understand the meaning and those who do not understand the meaning. While those who understand the meaning can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who understand the meaning, there are two kinds, those who abide in their understanding and those who do not abide in their understanding. While those who abide in their understanding can benefit both themselves and others, those who do not cannot benefit both themselves and others.

“Among those who abide in their understanding, there are two kinds, those who have acquired the eight wisdom-knowledges and those who have not acquired the eight wisdom-knowledges. These eight wisdom-knowledges are wisdom-knowledge of
(1) the Dharma, (2) the meanings [of its teachings], (3) the timing [of one’s actions], (4) contentment, (5) self and others, (6) the differences between groups, (7) the faculties [of people], and (8) the capacities [of people] [1] & [2] Refer to http://www.sutrasmantras.info/glossary.html under 'six remembrances' & 'arrogance'

[herbalviagra]

Metta is loving kindness to help people to be happy.

Karuna is compassion or mercy to help people to get out of suffer.

Mudita is sympathetic joy, being happy for others, without a trace of envy
.
Uppekha is equanimity or accepting others as they are.

People always say about Metta and Karuna. In fact, we need to have Mudita and Uppekha as well.

If you should help and can help them, you can use Metta and Karuna.
After you help them, you may use Mudita.

If you should not help or cannot help them, you need to use Uppekha.

We should be neutral and use the reasons and wisdom (not the desire) to consider whether we should and can help them.

[FinanseMikky]

Regarding the practice of compassion, here's an article by Pema Chodron called 'Idiot Compassion'

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/qa5.php

except:


"Idiot compassion is a great expression, which was actually coined by Trungpa Rinpoche. It refers to something we all do a lot of and call it compassion. In some ways, it's whats called enabling. It's the general tendency to give people what they want because you can't bear to see them suffering.

Basically, you're not giving them what they need. You're trying to get away from your feeling of I can't bear to see them suffering. In other words, you're doing it for yourself. You're not really doing it for them".

[rozettasmolanov]

The key to the issue must surely involve the most genuine reasonableness one can muster.

The act on enabling, where help seems futile, can be seen as a personal escapeism that can also exacerbate the original suffering.


Very wise Aloka.......specially the swim bit.