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We have lived together for over 3 years. He had mentioned marriage and wanting kids.
I didn't want kid's, I became worried later that if I didn't have any, he may want to find someone else so I decided to try for his sake. We had unprotected sex for over a year and nothing doing, I just was not getting pregnant. I started to worry...was there something wrong with me? Then suddenly I was pregnant! I remember asking him if he would go and get the test, he agreed and I checked. I remember seeing the positive result and feeling a little freaked out but I didn't show him that emotion as I showed him. I guess I was crushed when he seemed really unenthusiastic when I showed him the result. He said he needed time, and he never since has shown any interest in this baby. Fast forward 7 months and things have degenerated into an unholy mess. It started with him getting mean, you know..making nasty comments to me. I begged him to stop, I wanted to make this relationship work for the baby's sake. He shows no compassion, Ignores me when I try to talk, it doesn't matter what the subject. Seems really agressive if I repeat a question and then gets up and walks out of the house and drives off for hours. He won't touch me, sleeps in a seperate bed, no "I love you" back when I say it. Find's fault with everything I do. Get's angry if I do nice things for him. Started going out all the time to "friends" houses to party. Doesn't return until the following afternoon. Won't call to say where he is. If I am upset about it when he gets back, he will blow up, and tell me I'm imagining things and then just leave the house again. I'm pretty convinced that he is cheating, but I don't have actual proof. I did find a subscription to a dating phone line on his cell phone when I was snooping, I did confront him about that and he said it was for his friend....yeah right... I went to my mothers house for the night two weeks ago and he asked me to call when I got there...becuase he was worried about me driving such a long distance (thats the first time he was worried about me for a long time). I called and spoke to him, he told me he was watching movies for the night so I said goodnight. I tried calling him later as I just had some great news come in about my business and I know it was late but I knew he wouldn't mind as I knew this was something he was waiting to hear about too. I guess it was around 10:30ish at night when I called. No answer. I shrugged it off and went to bed. I woke up suddenly at 2:30am...I had this horrible dream about him cheating with another women and it was so real it totally upset me. I looked at the clock...2:30am. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach, like my 6th sense was telling me I needed to go home now. I felt like I was going crazy but I was so wide awake that I woke my mom and told her that I was leaving right then and I would drive back in the morning. She tried to talk me out of it but I insisted...I HAD to go home RIGHT now. I just had to be sure. So she insisted that she come with me too... I got there around 5am. His vehicle was gone, he wasn't in the house. I was furious....he TOLD me he was staying in the house for the night. I drove straight back to my mom's. I tried calling the house at 10am, 11am, 12:30pm and he still was not answering. I decided to go home again. I got there at 3:30ish and he was there. He looked all skittish and was pretending to be busy and not looking me in the eye. I pretended to be worried about him and asked him why he hadn't answered any of my calls?...I was only trying to tell him the good news about the business. He said he was sleeping and hadn't heard any of the calls, and he had gotten up that morning without checking the messages and been busy running around doing chores. He had been out of the house when I called in the morning.... I looked at him and said "Liar" Told him I had been at the house that night, my mom was too as a witness. He looked shocked...was toungetied. I told him due to the nature of our circumstances, it will take me at least a couple of months to sell off some of my asessts and prepare a new home, that he could consider us officially Not together...we are just living under the same roof until arrangements can be made. He was thrilled...he looked so relieved and wholeheartedly accepted the new arrangement. I got to tell you it was a nasty ego blow for me. He was really that miserable? I can't understand what I did so wrong... I mean he used to really love me (or so he told me) Why did he change so much when I got pregnant (and it can't be that I changed and got all hormonal because I was never given a chance to be all hormonal). Why now...when I DO need him to be strong does he bail on me? I feel like I have been hit by a body blow of massive proportions. I am just shell shocked by his genuine disregard for the baby and myself. It is so cold. I have since been spending as much time away at my moms as possible, I do have to go back there occasionaly. The last time I saw him he was a changed man. His personality was so sweet and kind and he wanted to go out and help me buy some necessities for the baby. He also asked me if I would like to go out with him on valentine's night for a date, him paying for dinner and a movie. (which is WAY out of character as he is soooo cheap normally). I didn't know what to say........should I go or just forget it. Sorry about the length of this...I just wanted to add in all the valid points. |
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