Oh, so NOW you speak english?
 

One of the more minor frustrations when I'm at work are the people who barely speak english but use it to get their way.

A gentleman walks in with a very old laptop under his arm. Keep in mind the guy who was covering for me on my day off yesterday didn't turn up so I have 2 days of work to be getting on with. Also note he had a very forced accent.

C: I need fixing.

Me: OK, I'll get it booked in. Can I take a name please?

C: You look at now.

Me: No, sorry but we're very busy. I can book it in and give you a ring later.

C: You fix now, I wait.

Me: Sorry, I can't do that, besides I don't know if I'll be able to fix it that quickly until I see what's wrong.

C: I not speak english, I need fix now, you fix now.

Me: I can't do that, it needs to be left with us.

C: I not speak english, I not understand, you fix now.

Me: *idea* Sir, whilst I feel your disappointment in my inability to meet your repair requirments, I must once again bring to your attention our exceptional backlog of engineering endeavours. If you would be so kind as to relinquish the requirement that I immediately investigate your portable micro computer I would happilly conduct all of the essential repairs for no monitary charge to your person.

C: OK, I leave if work free.

Me: Oh so you speak english now? That helps, I'll book it in and call you when it's ready. Name please?

eHehe good come back [rofl]

come back with stereotypical forced accent say " work free, parts not"

Had a SriLanken bloke walk in playing the same card, i started speaking with one of my mates infront of him using slang and gypsy.
He asked me 'what did i speak as he didnt understand it?', i replied you told me you didnt understand english anyway so what does it matter?

You just naturally speak in Alliteration? I bet you've changed the story what you actually said was "Look Sir, we have a massive backlog so either leave your laptop or don't but either way **** off out of my store."