[tinamasak]

I feel your pain. I lost my job and then was diagnosed with bipolar type 2, but luckily medication turned my life around. Don't ever allow women to get to you - they only have as much power as you give them. Your life is about you and not them - they are only good on the side.

hahahah well said

[verybigf]

I don't know what to say to help, but if you can find the time I'd say working out. While it might sound silly it has a sense of progression, you feel better directly after a work out and feeling fitter/stronger improves confidence. Also while you exercise it gives you time to think and sort problems in your head.

DhinShin are you as sexy as I imagine you to be?

[pKgGpUlF]

Gaaah! I fell in love with the wrong woman, too bad she doesnt have the same feelings for me! Now I dont wanna be with my gf anymore and will move out. And the worst thing: I have to work with the woman I have a crush on every day!

Depressed as hell... [thumbdown]

[rowneigerie]

Gaaah! I fell in love with the wrong woman, too bad she doesnt have the same feelings for me! Now I dont wanna be with my gf anymore and will move out. And the worst thing: I have to work with the woman I have a crush on every day!

Depressed as hell... [thumbdown]

I was in love my co-worker to awhile back, 'cept she had a fling going on with one of my buds who I worked with. 3rd wheel type of situation...it sucked.[thumbdown]

[Wvq9InTM]

Since this is turning into a sob thread lemme chime in.I'm involved with a girl ,whom I love quite deeply and who feels generally the same(though I'm questioning it now).We've been together for 5 months and it has been pretty awesome,now the past 4 months have been great but as December hit she told me that she cant go out due to some unresolved family issues, disappointingly she also told me that I cannot come over to visit her due to said family issues,now I tried to understand her problem and continued through the month with the occasional phone call (her phone got taken away according to her and had to use her sisters cell if need be) and a week later my phone got taken away by my friend/ex-gf(another story) while we were partying and so I couldn't call or text her for most of December until last week when I got it back.Recently whenever I try talking to her she responds in this cold manner and stifles whichever conversation I try holding with her and then whenever I point this out she slams me down or places blame on me for not talking to her this past month.
Yesterday I log in to my twitter account to catch up on the past 2weeks and whilst reading her tweets I come across a few that read "I lost love for you" "I'm going to punish this him" and another seconds after talking and asking her aboot our relationship -on the phone- she tweets "This was a very big mistake".Mind you this is the same girl who proclaimed her "love" for me to me and promised me "to never let go" in a lengthy letter.
I've been depressed the past year and I really do love her and don't want to break it off with her but the signs I'm seeing aren't promising of a better future for me and her.
If anyone read that I ask, What do?

[QEoMi752]

Hello Murder,

Glad to see you have 5 pages worth of support, i didnt read them all I am so hangover from New Year`s party, but by the way happy new year to you.

So, sorry for giving pointers without looking farther than your initial post but, if you feel bad about yourself for being in a rut, I can suggest this book called Feeling Good by Dr. Burns,
I had a minor depression 2-3 years ago and this book helped a lot in my case. I also had anti-depressants and psychotherapy wich went pretty well (the therapy I mean), if it didnt work out for you maybe try for another one ? It all depends on your connection with the therapist and everyone is different as to how they dispense their insight and help.

Like someone else said, when I feel crap I do a list of all the good things I have in life, or the past good things that I have had. You can also make a list of all the things you can do better than most people. Also, I've learned to not try to ignore my sad feelings, they wont go away until you've lived them fully. Myself when I am sad I play sad slice your wrist songs on the piano, then my roommate will usually come in and be like "Dude you want me to hang myself" and I'll be "Yeah, **** you too !". This is just to explain what I mean about living your feelings.

Also hmm, are you getting enough rest, healthy eating and all that ? I go for walks or jogging when I am filled with crap ideas and it helps.

Lastly about your job, find something else or try to do a short program that will open up new opportunities for you ! Having a job that is not fulfilling is the worst thing ever.

Are you into creative arts ? That could be something good to undertake, music, drawing, painting, whatever.

I don’t think I could handle that to be honest, I wouldn’t be against trying a therapist again, not trying to sound like a badass or a tough guy being 100% honest if they tried to put me in a hospital someone will get hurt or killed, yeah it could be me but I would be ok with that over getting locked up. I visited a friend in a ward and it was the most awful thing.
As for meds to help with the libido thing, honestly I like not having the drive or need for sexual contact. It would just add more complications I don’t need. I would rather be the near lifeless husk I am.

[realfan87]

Seems like everyone here is depressed...

My problem is that I can't fall in love at all.. I'm attracted to a lot of girls but never really feel like I want to be with them.. Maybe first 2 weeks is fun getting to know someone etc, but then I evaluate the situation and tell myself they're no good fits anyway so why bother.
Hope the "special" one is out there, cause being alone sucks and I don't want to enter into a relationship for the wrong reasons like I did with my ex kinda..

anyways.. when you hit rock bottom things can only get better. just keep yourself busy... going to the gym is a good idea

[pushokalex1]

I was in love my co-worker to awhile back, 'cept she had a fling going on with one of my buds who I worked with. 3rd wheel type of situation...it sucked.[thumbdown]

Yeah, it does suck! Gawd, its so weird sometimes. You think you're an adult and can handle that situation but when it comes across you act like a stupid 16 year old. Women can be so cruel, lol. I spent a night with her and the next morning I get an SMS saying "I'm not ready for this, sorry, please dont be mad" blabla.

F**k!!!!

Since this is turning into a sob thread lemme chime in.I'm involved with a girl ,whom I love quite deeply and who feels generally the same(though I'm questioning it now).We've been together for 5 months and it has been pretty awesome,now the past 4 months have been great but as December hit she told me that she cant go out due to some unresolved family issues, disappointingly she also told me that I cannot come over to visit her due to said family issues,now I tried to understand her problem and continued through the month with the occasional phone call (her phone got taken away according to her and had to use her sisters cell if need be) and a week later my phone got taken away by my friend/ex-gf(another story) while we were partying and so I couldn't call or text her for most of December until last week when I got it back.Recently whenever I try talking to her she responds in this cold manner and stifles whichever conversation I try holding with her and then whenever I point this out she slams me down or places blame on me for not talking to her this past month.
Yesterday I log in to my twitter account to catch up on the past 2weeks and whilst reading her tweets I come across a few that read "I lost love for you" "I'm going to punish this him" and another seconds after talking and asking her aboot our relationship -on the phone- she tweets "This was a very big mistake".Mind you this is the same girl who proclaimed her "love" for me to me and promised me "to never let go" in a lengthy letter.
I've been depressed the past year and I really do love her and don't want to break it off with her but the signs I'm seeing aren't promising of a better future for me and her.
If anyone read that I ask, What do?

Well I wouldnt break up with her right away. You need to be prepared. Start seeing other women if you can (not for sex, just to see how she reacts), show her that you're wanted. Dont be afraid of her breaking up with you because of it, because if she plans to do that, then nothing on this planet could prevent it.

This is the basic rule anyway. If she doesnt want to be with you, nothing will change that. Temporarily maybe, if some extreme circumstances occur that make her look for your company, but once a woman has turned her mind away take it like man and act cool, no matter how crushed your heart feels.

[pIp83Uns]

Seems like everyone here is depressed...

My problem is that I can't fall in love at all.. I'm attracted to a lot of girls but never really feel like I want to be with them.. Maybe first 2 weeks is fun getting to know someone etc, but then I evaluate the situation and tell myself they're no good fits anyway so why bother.
Hope the "special" one is out there, cause being alone sucks and I don't want to enter into a relationship for the wrong reasons like I did with my ex kinda..

anyways.. when you hit rock bottom things can only get better. just keep yourself busy... going to the gym is a good idea

Maybe you are the lucky one man? I was the same way and now look at me now. It took 29 years of my life to find a girl I really feel like I can’t live without and she is taken. It’s still so bad at times I see the following options, kill her boyfriend or kill myself...

[XangadsX]

It took 29 years of my life to find a girl I really feel like I can’t live without and she is taken. It’s still so bad at times I see the following options, kill her boyfriend or kill myself...

Take a step back, it's more likely that you want what you can't have and that's driving you insane.

[Frannypaync]

Maybe you are the lucky one man? I was the same way and now look at me now. It took 29 years of my life to find a girl I really feel like I can’t live without and she is taken. It’s still so bad at times I see the following options, kill her boyfriend or kill myself...

Eugh you need to stop thinking like that... get over it, it is just a girl.. There are loads more about... What do you have to gain from obsessing over a girl who is not interested and already has a boyfriend?

[sandracuk]

Take a step back, it's more likely that you want what you can't have and that's driving you insane.

When has that ever worked for anyone?

Once your feelings are involved and its not just a new Plasma TV you cant afford there is nothing you can do to get those feelings outa your body.

You can distract yourself, your friends could help a little, work makes you think about other things for a certain time...

But in the end, when you're back home the feelings are all there and your stomach starts to hurt so much that you think you'll gonna die this night. And you dont eat, because no food tastes any good anymore...

Well, thats how I feel right now lol. There simply isnt anything you can do. You can either cope with the pain and wait for it to ease off in the next couple of months, or it'll bring you down and drives you mad. I just hope I wont get the latter. I think murderweapon is thankful for all the ideas, but they wont help him (as far as the woman thing goes).

Its just the way it is.

[Fiipolera]

When has that ever worked for anyone?

Never, but it's all I've got lol.

[BrandandGeneric]

weird how we're programmed to like certain types..

and I agree with dangermoose that a lot of time we just obsess about things we can't get...

right now I'd like to find a good girl, but I'm sure once I found her I got other things to obsess about and I start comparing her to other girls, find flaws etc.. It's about being commited to something and denying yourself to give in to negativity (I admit it's hard)

All I can say really is that we all go through these moments and thoughts of suicide etc are just plain stupid. Think about this: Am I the person the girl I'm looking for is looking for??
A girl is definitely NOT looking for someone who has strong self pity, lack of confidence and thoughts of suicide. Just be the best you can be through these times and maybe have a friend to talk to instead of some forum dudes .

Also there definitely is someone out there for you who's gonna be right for you. Patience is a virtue (also frigging annoying).

Good luck!

[KatoabamyHant]

I also am slightly depressed. I hate my job, and am having a hard time finding a new one that offers me what I need to survive (pay). It's eating away at me because I find that my employer assumes that because I don't already have kids or wife/girlfriend that I can be worked crazy ass hours all the time. This makes it virtually impossible for me to find anyone
I moved a hour away from my friends and family for this job, and I simply have never been more alone in my entire life.
[thumbdown]

I push through it, using what free time I have keeping myself busy, but when I get idle time, I get really, really lonely and it sucks.

[iqxdvjgmat]

A girl is definitely NOT looking for someone who has strong self pity, lack of confidence and thoughts of suicide.

I know what you meant to say and it's mostly right but, all the time I was depressed (well I still have bouts, I'm starting to think its part of my new normal life ) so what I wanna say is since I've had my depression phase I've never had so many dates weird I know.

I was getting invitations from girls on dating sites or from school or whatever, and I would be like 'Oh I cant go meet her I'm feeling so down and nobody wants a downer' well it turns out that these girls still enjoyed my presence and persona.

So what I want to say is don't be too hard on yourself by thinking that no one else will want
to be with you or get to know you. Wich goes back to what I wrote last night about living your feelings, dont try to hide them behind a tough guy image or whatever, if you're sad you're sad live it embrace it talk about it and that'll only help.

I'm not the best at giving advice and english isnt my first language but hopefully you'll catch my drift that you'll get through it in time.

[yWleIJm4]

well it's not really weird...

it's being desperate. You can't have what you're looking for so you try to find substitutes which, in the end doesn't help anything, because unless you're lucky, they're not what you're looking for either...

I cannot really help you as I'm strugling myself with similar things, but it's a phase and it'll pass. Tough times never last, tough people do.

[ClapekDodki]

haha@desperate well yeah, I was desperately looking for a woman but I mean these girls were HAWT !! But anyways, good luck to you too metusion, seriously this book I referenced, Feeling Good by Dr.Burns (cant link the ISDN number as I have the french edition) is pretty good..

I think the best advice I can give for now is this (might not apply to everyone but it did for me)

Whenever you say 'Oh I am such a loser !!', replace this by 'Oh I FEEL like such a loser' because THAT is what is really happening.

You dont go from 'decent guy' to loser just because of a thought.. that makes no sense [thumbup], but we are our hardest judges so when you feel like a loser you are probably saying, I feel like a loser so I AM a loser. What I did is 'I am Fred and I FEEL like a loser, this is momentary, so now why am I feeling so loserish well its because of this, and that, blabla..'

Deconstructing your thoughts is important

[Broorbbub]

exactly.. we make ourselves what we tell ourselves to be..

start telling yourself you're awesome [yes]
the mind is a powerful thing. Interesting how we tend to forget the good things and focus on the bad even though it might only be a small aspect of our life...

[caseferter]

exactly.. we make ourselves what we tell ourselves to be..

start telling yourself you're awesome [yes]
the mind is a powerful thing. Interesting how we tend to forget the good things and focus on the bad even though it might only be a small aspect of our life...

Cheers doc.