[Jadldqys]

I have fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia (possibly mild narcolepsy), high anxiety levels, panic attacks. I also had cyclothymia, which developed into bipolar disorder type 2 after a recent lay off (my first extremely traumatic event in life - served as a trigger to worsen my bipolar disorder). Right now I am medicated with anti-epileptic drugs such Lamictal, Lyrica, and other drugs - Xanax, baclofen, OxyContin. They work exceptionally well for my illnesses. The only complaint I have is my chronic fatigue, which will be soon addressed by a sleep specialist after a sleep study (a stimulant is likely to be prescribed). Since I don't have a job and I am only 24 - I get to use my parents' insurance until I am 26 in the USA. I am scared as hell that I won't find a job with a good insurance policy and won't be able to afford my drugs. I have a severe issue with tricyclic anti-depressants and typical/atypical antipsychotics - they turn me into a zombie and I logically think "living like this is not worth it". I become suicidal on those drugs, which is why I am not using them. However, I think those drugs are waaay cheaper and are likely to be used in a mental institution instead of the drugs I currently use. So, what will happen to me when I turn 26 and have no insurance and no money? Can I be institutionalized somewhere for free and be medicated with the drugs I currently use? I don't want my bipolar type disorder 2 to turn into type 1 and go on a rampage! At the same time if I were to be given those typical/atypical antipsychotics - I would undeniably find a way to end my life as I would not consider that to be life... Maybe I can seek...ehm...mental asylum in other countries like Canada?



EDIT: I finally saw a real psychiatrist (first time ever), who simply added Nuvigil to my list of medications and it really made a positive difference. I was tired of feeling tired before and wanted to just let go/give up and have someone take care of me (desire to "be institutionalized"...). I now can stay awake and my fatigue is greatly reduced to a point where I began being interested in outside activities, physical activities, sex with women instead of masturbation, etc... I was tired too much for any of those activities, but not anymore! At first I thought Nuvigil made me hypomanic again, but it leveled off to where I am stable but alert. I have nothing to complain about anymore. It sucks that I can't get excited/fascinated, because, in my case, it triggers hypomania and then I get severe depression later. Now I am just stable, like this - , but not like this - [thumbup], , [rofl], .