Everything except the car keys.
 

Was she smoking crack? http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ilies/wink.gif

I had an early dinner so consider this my gift for the rest of you while you eat. http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...milies/dev.jpg

Anyone having fish?

But you failed to post it here for our amusement. http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...s/neeschud.gif

You cracking jokes. http://www.discussworldissues.com/im...ons/icon14.gif

Did you not fancy a spread?

How's this for a one-upping?

Man "Keystered" Cellphone, MP3 Player, Headphones, Cash, Pot Into California Jail

http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/r...arlleevogt.jpg

Sentenced and jailed Tuesday on a narcotics conviction, a California man smuggled a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco, and $140 in cash into a county lockup by hiding the contraband in his rectum, investigators allege.

The items were recovered when Lake County corrections officers strip searched Earl Lee Vogt and tossed his cell. The searches Wednesday evening were prompted when a jailer detected the smell of marijuana in the 29-year-old tattoo artist’s cell.

Vogt, pictured in the post-surrender mug shot at right, was sentenced Tuesday to nearly four years in prison and immediately remanded to the custody of the sheriff’s department. Investigators believe that Vogt “keystered” the contraband to get it into the lockup, according to one official. While the cash was found in his cell, the other items were found inside a sock.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”

Vogt claimed that he had obtained the marijuana from another inmate in exchange for a second MP3 player he had smuggled into the northern California lockup. Jail officials doubt this assertion.

In light of the contraband seizure, Vogt was charged with a felony count of smuggling a controlled substance into prison and unauthorized possession of a wireless communication device, a misdemeanor. It is unclear how Vogt planned to recharge the phone, a Kyocera Metro. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...alifornia-jail

That chick must have had a huge snatch to hide all that up there.