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03-24-2007, 02:21 PM | #1 |
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Dear Friends,
The answer to this question is given in a stotra called Sadhana Panchakam:- Sadhana Panchakam (Pentet about religious practice) Translated by P.R.Ramachander Let us read Vedas daily, Let us do rituals based on them, Let the Gods be worshipped based on them, Let us do work without attachment, Let us drive away the crowd of sins, Let us find the mistakes that we do in our life, Let us cultivate knowledge of the soul, Let us go away from our homes.(towards salvation) Let us seek the company of good people, Let us build up stable sense of devotion to God, Let us know about states of mind like peace, Let us forsake hard to do karmas, Let us go near a wise teacher and give ourselves up, Let us daily worship his slippers, Let us meditate on the one lettered Brahmam, Let us hear the sentences from Vedas. Let us try to understand great sentences, Let us try to understand the import of Vedas, Let us not involve in to bad arguments, Let us try to listen to the arguments of Vedas, Let us try to think “I am Brahmam”, Let us daily forsake being proud, Let us forsake the belief that “I am the body”, Let us not do arguments with learned people. Let us treat the sickness of hunger, Let us daily eat the medicine of food got as Bhiksha, Let us not start pining for tasty food, Let us become happy with what fate gives us, Let us learn to tolerate heat and cold climate, Let us not talk unnecessary words, Let us start liking tolerance, Let us leave out not being merciful. Let us sit in a place of solitude, Let us fix our mind in the ultimate truth of the soul, Let us try to see the ultimate truth of the soul, Let us try to see the world fully filled with that truth, Let us destroy the effects of all karma done earlier, Let us not get tied up with new Karmas, Let us leave at this point all that is fated, Let us all stay with the ultimate truth. He who reads these pentet of verses daily, Daily earns and saves stability in life, He does not get affected by the intense, Heat of the sorrow of life, Because this thapas makes him wise. |
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03-24-2007, 06:28 PM | #2 |
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03-26-2007, 12:43 AM | #3 |
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sir - whereas today many children have unfortunate physical & mental deformities even right from birth due to their parents having same blood group or their parents being close relatives, in those days it is really amazing how inspite of not having medical facilities like blood test, inspite of having only arranged marriages based on matching of horoscope of girl & boy, most of the children born were fairly healthy both in mental & physical aspect!
normally after marriage, if a women gets pregnant there are at least 2functions to be performed during the period- Valaikaappu (bangle wearing ceremony) & Poochoottal. then after child is born there are two immediate orthodox functions - punyojanam (ceremony during which child is named, normally held on 11 day of child's birth) & aayushahomam(ist birthday of child). then ofcourse, if a boy is born upanayanam has to be performed once he reaches 7 years. all these orthodox functions do cost lot of money. so only to render some assistance , and to bless his daugher & son in law and their future issues, the father of the girl normally gives a significant amount as dowry to his son in law at the during the marriage. once temples were destroyed by islamic invaders & orthodoxy coming under severe attack from british evangelists , the source of income for bramins was eliminated. with cost of living also being very high, it was naturally difficult for bramins to live in an orthodox way by being dependent on temple incomes. so naturally bramins had to move out of temples to other jobs also. thus bramins were separated into 2 classes - the priestly class & other non priestly bramins. |
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03-28-2007, 06:06 AM | #5 |
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normally after marriage, if a women gets pregnant there are at least 2functions to be performed during the period- Valaikaappu (bangle wearing ceremony) & Poochoottal. then after child is born there are two immediate orthodox functions - punyojanam (ceremony during which child is named, normally held on 11 day of child's birth) & aayushahomam(ist birthday of child). then ofcourse, if a boy is born upanayanam has to be performed once he reaches 7 years. all these orthodox functions do cost lot of money. so only to render some assistance , and to bless his daugher & son in law and their future issues, the father of the girl normally gives a significant amount as dowry to his son in law at the during the marriage. Your explanation for Dowry is a first for me. I hadn't come across this reasoning of Dowry. A naive question - The first 2 functions that you have referred, isn't the cost "debited" to the would-be-mother's family ? Also for upanayanam, a significant cost is borne by the paternal uncle. So unable to "reconcile" with your reasoning. Anyways. The intention for the dowry system, however noble at start, i guess quickly degenerated into an exhortion system which IMHO is/was a big slur on our religion. Also i have heard accusations hurled at hinduism (read brahmanism) as being the culprit of casting the shadow of dowry on other religions. I dunno how fair is the accusation. |
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03-28-2007, 02:57 PM | #6 |
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sir - brahminism is the only culture in the world, where there are so many rituals & orthodox functions in the life of a person throughout, and conducting these functions even in a simple way, does consume quite a bit of money. so persons from both the side of husband & wife do contribute a lot to the family voluntarily in the form of dowry & other manners both before & after marriage. i forgot to mention about AKSHAR ABYAS , a function conducted before sending the child to school. AKSHAR means numerals or alphabets. ABYAS means practice.
once upon a time the expense of all these rituals and functions were borne by father of child and husband of the wife itself. since it became increasingly difficult for 1 single person to bear all these costs,the custom of in laws sharing the burden in the form of dowry before marriage and in many other ways even after marriage, originated. in other religions, there are not so many rituals which need so much of money. so it is a laughable excuse if anybody says they are trying to 'emulate' bramins in asking for dowry! |
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03-28-2007, 06:19 PM | #7 |
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Dear Sri Hari,
No big lumpsome 'Varadhakshanai' is required if the agreeing parties sit down and apportion the costs of each major function accordingly. Varadhakshinai is a barbaric practice and recognized as such by none other than Sri Maha Periaval of Kanchi, who forbade people to use His name as blessing a wedding in the invitations, if any Varadhakshinai was collected. Pranams, KRS |
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03-29-2007, 12:30 AM | #8 |
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speaking about vardakshinai, in our family we never even thought about that. Me and my brothers and parents too never even thoguht about or discussed that even among ourselves.
The way the female chioldren are killed in foetus , it is resulting in the skewed sex ratio. Hence men will be asked to give money to the girl's family to marry in future. So it will not be a vara-dsakshinai but pora-dakshinai. I have started saving for my son for the same reason. Among the brahmins due to more girls marryiong out of community it will be even more of a trouble going forward. for the men to get women. |
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03-29-2007, 04:03 AM | #9 |
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sir - Varadakshinai is a voluntary blessing from elders to newly wed couples. this is by no means barbaric. any person can voluntarily contribute to others. even law cannot stop this.
there is a proverb in tamil 'KALLAANAALUM KANAVAN. PULLAANAALUM PURUSHAN' does this mean even if a husband is a criminal, a drunkard or a barbarian, the wife must worship him? never! this proverb only shows that during those days husbands were so noble , so great & civilized that they were given such a high status. it cannot be followed today blindly. but only based on individual merit & quality of husband. like that dowry should not be generalised. |
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03-29-2007, 05:53 AM | #10 |
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03-29-2007, 06:15 PM | #11 |
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03-30-2007, 02:56 AM | #12 |
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03-30-2007, 02:57 AM | #13 |
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03-30-2007, 02:41 PM | #14 |
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03-30-2007, 03:14 PM | #15 |
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03-31-2007, 02:49 PM | #16 |
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03-31-2007, 07:30 PM | #17 |
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Sirs,
When I quoted Kanchi Periavaa on Vedic Brahmins taking meat, it was immediately dismmissed as coming from a Shaivite Guru. But when it is now convenient for this topic, He is being quoted! By the way, by 'traditions' He was talking more about traditions that promote Brahminism and not about the mundane practices of exchanging money. Pranams, KRS |
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04-01-2007, 01:27 AM | #18 |
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sirs - since kanchi periyavaa's name was (mis?)used to defame the once noble practice of dowry, i had mentioned another quotation of mahaswamigal.
dowry is not exchange of money. if an elder bramin donates even 1 paise, it is considered a great blessing. so a person of a status of a father in law voluntarily - i repeat voluntarily not forcibly - donating his mite with his blessings to the couple is as holy as god himself blessing the couple. |
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04-01-2007, 09:20 AM | #19 |
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Sirs,
How does one misuse His directive, by quoting it? Your problem is, you want the society to go back as it was eons ago. Unfortunately, we have to live today within today's culture. Just because one declares that the Varadhakshinai is a noble practice will not make it so in today's practice. Just because one declares it to be 'voluntary' won't stop the boy's parents to demand money. Please wake up! I think we are wasting each other's time. What I am trying to convey is apparently not reaching it's target. To save you time, I will not be anymore responding to your comments. Signing off, Pranams, KRS |
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04-01-2007, 03:08 PM | #20 |
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sirs- the barbaric islamic invasion of india, destroyed our temples, our wealth was plundered and we were reduced to paupers. it is only from this invasion that hindu culture stared digressing. varnasharama, dowry and all other noble practices denegerated. the main reason was poverty.
what mahaswamigal had said about dowry, i presume should be about forcible extortion of dowry, not voluntary donation, which is tantamount to ashirwaad from an elderly bramin, which is as divine as blessing from god. OLD IS GOLD - i have lot of admiration for our forefathers & ancestors, their tradition & culture, though i am not that much knowledgeable. even if we cannot entirely go back to those golden days, let us not forget them, so that we can pass on the memories to the next generation. |
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