[crestosssa]

So my MIL comes to visit last week and all I hear for 5 days is how I'm too thin and I need to eat more. First of all I am NOT too thin, I am 5'2" with an extra small frame and my weight is stable between 117-119. I eat all day long but do eat P3 still for the most part.( Carbs/sugar and I have a love/hate relationship.) I eat whole foods only my salad dressing is processed and it is very minimal. She just does not get it!!!! She kept going on about low fat this, light that. Bigger problem is I'm leaving in a week to visit my in laws in Florida, she is offended because we have asked her not to buy groceries for us that we will go for ourselves and she's mad as hell that I'm bringing my scale because she does not have one. Does anyone else think it sounds like she's out to sabotage me? Or is it just that most people don't get what "clean" eating is. Just need some comfort from ya'll cuz I'm afraid I'm gonna tell her to take a leap into the ocean or push her in myself!

[triarmarm]

I am 5'2 1/2 and 117-118 pounds. I don't think it is too small, but too much less would be. I don't think she is intentionally sabotaging you. She like the rest of the world has been fed misinformation Low fat high carbs with sugar additives are going to help you lose or stay skinny. She might be worried about you, and most heavier people genuinely worry others are getting too skinny. It might be because if they realize your weight is fine they might realize theirs is not. I would be adamant about your eating, and not let her bully you into it though. If you have to tell her your nutritionist has told you to eat that way

[Angry White American]

I hear ya, I chose not to tell anyone except my husband what I was doing because I know how my family is. They don't understand, expecially when they see only 500 calories a day. Just stick with it and don't let anyone discourage you. You are a fine weight for your height

[DoctorNelsonOnten]

So my MIL comes to visit last week and all I hear for 5 days is how I'm too thin and I need to eat more. First of all I am NOT too thin, I am 5'2" with an extra small frame and my weight is stable between 117-119. I eat all day long but do eat P3 still for the most part.( Carbs/sugar and I have a love/hate relationship.) I eat whole foods only my salad dressing is processed and it is very minimal. She just does not get it!!!! She kept going on about low fat this, light that. Bigger problem is I'm leaving in a week to visit my in laws in Florida, she is offended because we have asked her not to buy groceries for us that we will go for ourselves and she's mad as hell that I'm bringing my scale because she does not have one. Does anyone else think it sounds like she's out to sabotage me? Or is it just that most people don't get what "clean" eating is. Just need some comfort from ya'll cuz I'm afraid I'm gonna tell her to take a leap into the ocean or push her in myself!

If your intention to weigh yourself while you're there makes her that mad, then she's looking for reasons to be mad.

Personally, I would tell her to deal with it or forget about having company.

[FBtquXT8]

Discretion is the better part of valor. My MIL had frosting covered brownies out in front of me all weekend when she heard I was on 500 calories a day. Of course my mother didn't help any either, always trying to break the diet I am attempting to do.

[rolex-buy]

Choose your battles wisely. Most of the time, family concerns come from a place of love and concern, albeit they may be ignorant. She might think that she is being helpful to you, or looking for a common interest to bond over. I would be polite but firm, knowledgeable but not know-it-all, caring but not wimpy. Anger and resentment are not good for weight loss, emotional health or relationships. You and she have one very important thing in common: you both love the same guy.

[r5YOPDyk]

Your MIL sounds just like mine. I don't hink she's intentionally trying to sabotage you, but just doesn't get it! My MIL is always going on about how hard it is for her to lose weight and she just doesn't have the time, patience, money etc....She always has some excuse as to why she just can't lose weight. It gets aggrivating cause I know that if she really wanted to do it she could make the time, she would make herself have the patience and if she would just stop eating out ALL THE TIME she would have the money to do it! Another aggrivation of mine is the way she will comment on my eating "Good for you!...I wish I had your will power" and then 10 minutes later she ask's me if I want a brownie! Grrrrrr the woman drives me nuts! She is also under the impression that if she buys everything "light" or "low fat" then she will lose weight...Uhhh that lite sour cream isn't doing you any good when you are dipping deep fried taquitos in it! Just stand your ground! I would tell her "sure, go ahead and buy the groceries if you insist, but we are still going to go buy our own. And if the scale bothers you that much then don't look at it!" Good luck with the visit and let us know how it goes!

[Thunderzee]

Perhaps she does not feel you are hearing her. Just a suggestion: "So, Mom, you are saying you think I am too skinny? When I get back home, I will make an appointment for a checkup with my doctor to see what he/she says."

A lot of older people have great faith in a doctor's opinion.

[triarmarm]

A lot of older people have great faith in a doctor's opinion.

yep

[Lypepuddyu]

I think it's really hard for people to overcome their thoughts on what they have been told and believe is healthy - low fat, slow loss etc. I think for a lot of people the speed of loss is alarming and worries them because we've been told that it's terribly unhealthy to lose anything more than 2-3 pounds a week. And following protocol, avoiding foods we know trigger us, etc. can seem obsessive. I have been so excited about how this is working for me I know I've babbled endlessly to my mom and sis - who have been supportive - but I am sensing that they are a tiny bit tired of hearing about it.

I don't think we should always chalk it up to sabotage even though its tempting - it can be sincere. You probably know in your gut from other dealings with her whether it is or not.

And I agree the "I'll make an appointment with my doctor" comment was a great suggestion!!!!!

[Maribellin]

I wonder if she's taking it as more a reflection on her culinary talents? That might be part of it. I have no idea why on earth whether you bring your scale or not would have any impact on her. What is HER build like? Is she overweight? I don't think she's sabatoging you, either - she just sounds way territorial or something.

Maybe try a different tactic, explain this is for your health, and though you've always loved her meals, you've decided this is what you need to do now for YOU.

[KinicsBonee]

Lots of great advice here - how did your visit go? I'm in the same dilemma as you - I'm trying to schedule a visit with my mom next week and she's planning on going to Denny's and Olive Garden w/my grandmother (granny wanted a "treat"). I told her that I couldn't eat there and she suggested the fruit plate at Denny's. I'm sure I could figure something out (like a soft boiled egg or something). The smell of cooked bacon will drive me over the edge, no doubt! I had a nightmare the other night that I went out to eat with my family, ordered dessert, ate half and realized what I'd done and freaked out. It was just habit and I totally forgot about protocol until it was deliciously too late....lol.