[jakitula]

Brett Favre is gone. Life has no meaning.

While I wasn't the one to break the news of His Gunslingerness' retirement, I have been working the phones since the moment the news came out to get reaction from big names in and out of football. Here are some of them:

"See, this is why we traded him. He's a quitter." -- former Falcons coach Jerry Glanville

"Boom! Bam! Pow! That's the sound my giant tears are making when they hit the floor." -- John Madden

"Noooooooo! I'm still 60 sacks short of the all-time record." -- Michael Strahan

"Maybe we should trade for my brother-in-law. He might be good enough to beat out Aaron Rodgers." -- A.J. Hawk

"I tip my 40-ounce mocha double latte with extra whipped cream to his memory." -- Peter King

"What? Worn out after 275 consecutive starts, are you? What a wimpy little girl." -- Cal Ripken Jr.

"Trust me on this: Brett should stick around one more year." -- Tiki Barber

"All that we have now to remember him is game film. Hours and hours and hours of game film." -- Bill Belichick

"If he's feeling tired and beat-up, I know of some stuff that can help with that." -- Shawne Merriman

"Great. Now he'll be more of a regular in our interracial two-hand touch games we play in a nearby wheat field while wearing our Wranglers as our dogs watch from the back of our pickup trucks." -- Brett Favre's friends

"Looks like it's time for The Majik Man to make his triumphant return." -- Don Majkowski

"I make terrible decisions and throw a lot of interceptions. Any chance I can take over his title of 'gunslinger' now?" -- Rex Grossman

"Thanks for retiring after first breaking all of my records. You won't be getting any Isotoners from me next Christmas." -- Dan Marino

"You are a great quarterback and a fine actor. In fact, you are a much better actor than I am." -- Cameron Diaz

"Why did he make this decision so quickly? He still has plenty of time to think through all of his options." -- Terrelle Pryor

"I hope this doesn't mean you are going to run and jump into my arms every time you successfully take the trash out or change a light bulb." -- Deanna Favre

"Brett will love retirement. It's nice not having to stay in shape all the time." -- Gilbert Brown

"Retired? Brett Favre? Any chance he will come out of retirement for a one-year, $40 million contract?" -- Daniel Snyder

"I ended the Patriots' perfect season and sent Brett Favre out of the NFL a loser. Who is man enough to step to this?" -- Eli Manning

"Sweet! I still think I have a good year or two left in me." -- Aaron Rodgers

[BeksTeene]

There's some good material in there.

[lapyignipinge]

"Looks like it's time for The Majik Man to make his triumphant return." -- Don Majkowski

"Thanks for retiring after first breaking all of my records. You won't be getting any Isotoners from me next Christmas." -- Dan Marino

"Why did he make this decision so quickly? He still has plenty of time to think through all of his options." -- Terrelle Pryor

"I ended the Patriots' perfect season and sent Brett Favre out of the NFL a loser. Who is man enough to step to this?" -- Eli Manning

Awesome!

[Alexunda]

There's some good material in there.

I almost believed all of them, just not quite.

[andreas]

"I ended the Patriots' perfect season and sent Brett Favre out of the NFL a loser. Who is man enough to step to this?" -- Eli Manning Winner!

[Uttephabeta]

"What? Worn out after 275 consecutive starts, are you? What a wimpy little girl." -- Cal Ripken Jr.

"Noooooooo! I'm still 60 sacks short of the all-time record." -- Michael Strahan

[eFDMBwKH]

"All that we have now to remember him is game film. Hours and hours and hours of game film." -- Bill Belichick

Thats my Fav. Laughed alot at them all.

[nasxbrtyol]

That was pretty good SU. I got some chuckles out of that.

The Cameron Diaz one was pretty cool.

Niether can act at all.

[9mm_fan]

"Thanks for retiring after first breaking all of my records. You won't be getting any Isotoners from me next Christmas." -- Dan Marino Too funny.

[Sdzqerty]

Too funny.

Yeah, but did he ever get Isotoners from Dan? I though they only went to his linemen.

[reawnvam]

I got a good chuckle out of the Wranglers one myself. And the Gilbert Brown one.

[hansen384cbh]

I got a good chuckle out of the Wranglers one myself. And the Gilbert Brown one.

Yeah, those two were pretty good.

[Ephedrine]

16 straight home game wins over our Lions wore on you didn't it...?

Wayne Fontes, Bobby Ross, Gary Moeller, Marty Morninweg, Steve Mariucci, Dick Jauron and Rod Marinelli.

[quottrethew]

16 straight home game wins over our Lions wore on you didn't it...?

Wayne Fontes, Bobby Ross, Gary Moeller, Marty Morninweg, Steve Mariucci, Dick Jauron and Rod Marinelli.

Time for A-Rod to start a streak

[Teligacio]

Time for A-Rod to start a streak

Like it would be difficult....I read in the paper today that the Packs winning wasn't caused by great Farve play as he never really throw for alot of yards etc....the lions just choked at Lambeu.

[ephennaCypota]

Like it would be difficult....I read in the paper today that the Packs winning wasn't caused by great Farve play as he never really throw for alot of yards etc....the lions just choked at Lambeu.

Where and what is Lambeu?

[gunhijala]

Like it would be difficult....I read in the paper today that the Packs winning wasn't caused by great Farve play as he never really throw for alot of yards etc....the lions just choked at Lambeu.

Favre is not even top 10 all time, if you take anything you read as truth. That would mean you've really sucked for 16 years.

[AndyPharmc]

Favre is not even top 10 all time, if you take anything you read as truth. That would mean you've really sucked for 16 years.

#11

[Mjypksun]

Good stuff SU.

Donald Driver: "Hey, he can't retire, the 2nd knuckle on my left ring finger hasn't been broken yet".