[onlineslotetes]

And these stupid Chuck Norris rip-off jokes...

• 70% of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders.
• Indy's Defense is called the Cover 2 because the team is only responsible for covering 2 people. Bob Sanders covers the rest.
• Bob Sanders invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Brady invented pink.
• If he could be any Care Bear, Bob Sanders would still be Bob Sanders, and when you hugged him he'd tackle you for a seven yard loss. They'd call him Kick Your Butt Bear, and there'd be a picture on his chest of him kicking your butt.
• If you say "Bob Sanders" three times while looking in a mirror, you'll feel pretty stupid. Then Bob Sanders will rush through the door and tackle you for a four yard loss.
• When Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back, Bob Sanders was already there, and he hit Justin so hard he now goes by the name Kevin Federline.
• It was once thought Bob Sanders lost a fight to a Bear. But that was a lie created by Bob Sanders himself to lure more Bears to him.
• They once renamed a street after Bob Sanders, but they had to change it back. Too many pedestrians died crossing it. Nobody crosses Bob Sanders and lives.
• They were going to release a Bob Sanders edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Bob Sanders / In the backfield / with a spear tackle"
• A true quote from Bob himself: "I always thought that if I didn't feel it, the other person was hurting more. But I've realized over time that if I hit somebody and it hurts me, it hurts them even more."
• Bob Sanders is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry; the man ate the Chiefs.
• Bob Sanders once looked at Edgerrin James funny. That's why EJ's in Arizona.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Bob Sanders allows to live.
• Bob Sanders puts the laughter in manslaughter.
• LaDanian Tomlinson wears a tinted visor so that he will never have to look Bob Sanders in the eye.
• Tom Brady can throw a football pretty far. Bob Sanders can throw Tom Brady even farther.
• Bob Sanders frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

[TEFSADDERFISA]

That first one is a ripoff from something Fred Smoot originally said.

[Barryrich]

i like bob sanders, but to be put in same category as chuck norris is blasphemy.

[HowardtheDuck]

Cole Hamels had these come out way before Sanders did. Sanders is no Hamels.

[Caunnysup]

i like bob sanders, but to be put in same category as chuck norris is blasphemy.

If Chuck Norris about all of these rip-off Bob Sanders jokes he'd kick Bob Sanders' ass.

[DioraMoostebeers]

bobsandersfacts.com?

[oraltyrap]

That first one is a ripoff from something Fred Smoot originally said.

fred smoot didn't originate that

[mtvlover571]

before smoot some center fielder said it, drawing a blank...i think it's been ripped off a number of times, i wonder who originally said it

[Foriaelalse]

i like bob sanders, but to be put in same category as chuck norris is blasphemy.

Agreed. But some of those are funny.

I just don't think Chuck would agree.

[Gilowero]

before smoot some center fielder said it, drawing a blank...i think it's been ripped off a number of times, i wonder who originally said it

I had never heard it before, I would like to know who originated it.

[KongoSan]

bobsandersfacts.com?

He only wishes.

[fluistulkn]

before smoot some center fielder said it, drawing a blank...i think it's been ripped off a number of times, i wonder who originally said it

fernando bryant originated it

[RicyReetred]

fernando bryant originated it

The guy that plays for the Lions? Really?

[YmolafBp]

The guy that plays for the Lions? Really?

yes

[toponlinecasinoer]

Some of these are awesome! LOL!!!!

[psbiuigw]

Some of these are awesome! LOL!!!!

I love Norris jokes, some are so retarded they are hilarious.

[EmxATW5m]

When Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back, Bob Sanders was already there, and he hit Justin so hard he now goes by the name Kevin Federline. Classic

[WepKeyday]

Classic

Right, that might be the best one, lol.

[zilsolley3]

fernando bryant originated it

Are you sure? I know I remember it being said about Deion Sanders back in the day.