[AALee]

32. Detroit Lions (0-3): Just give it up. The Lions are terrible and definitely worthy of the designation as worst team in the NFL. I wonder if people actually wouldn't mind seeing Joey Harrington come back.

31. Tennessee Titans (0-3): I would say "Just start Vince Young" but he doesn't give them the best chance to win. Oh well. Sucks to be a Titans fan right now.

30. Oakland Raiders (0-2): Well, the Raiders had the week off so they didn't get a chance to be humiliated by yet another team. I'm telling you, put Moss at quarterback. It's the only way.

29. Houston Texans (0-3): I'm not going to be one of the people, but there are probably a lot of people bitching that the Texans didn't draft Reggie Bush who has single-handedly won 3 games for the Saints this year.

28. Cleveland Browns (0-3): The Browns should have won. But they're the Browns. So they lost.

27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-3): When I first read about the spleen injury to Chris Simms, I thought it was one of the hyperbolic jokes. They're pretty bad right now.

26. Green Bay Packers (1-2): Yay! They beat the worst team in the league. I saw an interview after the game and Favre just sounds like a beaten old man.

25. San Francisco 49ers (1-2): Dominated by a much better team. The 49ers might be able to hurt some teams' playoff hopes simply by playing with heart, though.

24. Buffalo Bills (1-2): Am I the only person that can't stand J.P. Losman?

23. Kansas City Chiefs (0-2): They're going to win some games. Eventually.

22. Washington Redskins (1-2): Watch out, the Redskins finally won a game. Gibbs still has wet dreams at night about having sex with Tony Stewart after a Nextel Cup championship. He's got no chance of one in Washington.

21. Arizona Cardinals (1-2): I want to rank them higher, but they've got to win close division games. Is anyone ready for Matt Leinart to start?

20. Miami Dolphins (1-2): Finally won a game. I was talking to a Dolphins fan and he said he wanted Harrington to start. I laughed.

19. Carolina Panthers (1-2): Squeaking out a win against the Suckaneers. The Panthers have to be the biggest disappointment in '06 so far.

18. Dallas Cowboys (1-1): Bill Parcells is so fat. The ¿¿¿¿.

17. St. Louis Rams (2-1): So the Rams proved me wrong in thinking the Cardinals are better than them right now. They've got to be laughing at how Martz is doing in Detroit this year.

16. New York Jets (2-1): Yeah. The Jets probably won't continue winning like this, but it'd be nice to see them win the division instead of New England.

15. New England Patriots (2-1): This team just isn't as good as teams of the past. They've still got some of the pieces, but they're not nearly a top team.

14. Minnesota Vikings (2-1): Close loss to the division-leading Bears. The Vikings are still a good team. All the credit goes to Brad Childress who saved that sinking ship.

13. New York Giants (1-2): They've played one of the hardest schedules to date so far. But they've still got to win games and do more in the first 3 quarters.

12. San Diego Chargers (2-0): No comment.

11. New Orleans Saints (3-0): Are the Saints for real? Of course not.

10. Atlanta Falcons (2-1): They didn't stand a chance against the Saints on Monday. It doesn't matter. They're still the better team.

9. Denver Broncos (2-1): Beat off on the Patriots' faces in Foxboro. That's gotta be worth something.

8. Indianapolis Colts (3-0): Holding the Jaguars to 14 is a start. Their defense has to do more before anyone can take them seriously.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2): Suffering some lumps early on, but Bill Cowher will steer them in the right direction.

6. Baltimore Ravens (3-0): Barely beating the Cleveland Browns. That's kind of pathetic. A demotion for this week is necessary.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-1): Tough loss to the Colts. Overall, I'm still liking the Jaguars to win that division.

4. Chicago Bears (3-0): Good win for the Bears over the Vikings. Next week they face Seattle. That should be fun.

3. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1): So the Eagles have yet to beat a good team. But who cares? They're the fucking Eagles and every team in the league fears seeing them on the schedule.

2. Seattle Seahawks (3-0): So they've finally started to put up some points. That's always a good recipe for winning. But Shaun Alexander is out. That's gonna hurt. Ouch.

1. Cincinnati Bengals (3-0): The big cat on the block is still on top. But Chad, what happened to that big game you were talking about? Oh well. There's always next week right?