[Ifroham4]

Dear and Respected Members

“You do not really need someone to complete you….
You just need someone to accept you completely”

That is the beauty of the relation.:-}

a.v.v.v.rajagopal-coimbatore-tamilnadu

[PhillipHer]

Dear and Respected Members

“You do not really need someone to complete you….
You just need someone to accept you completely”

That is the beauty of the relation.:-}

a.v.v.v.rajagopal-coimbatore-tamilnadu

Greetings.

One really needs someone to complete the person. Well, not just some one, several someones in fact!

One needs someone to accept him/her as they are to be called as 'friend';
+ One needs someone to walk the 7 steps ( in moost religious practices) and to stay together in thich and thin to be called as husband/wife;
+ One needs someone or several someones to be loved and to love in return to called father/mother;
+ One needs lot more someones to share occassions and events to be part of a community.....
I could be wrong...... But, in my opinion, it takes several someones as shown above to complete a person.

Cheers!

[TorryJens]

Dear and Respected Members

“You do not really need someone to complete you….
You just need someone to accept you completely”

That is the beauty of the relation.:-}

a.v.v.v.rajagopal-coimbatore-tamilnadu

Agreed sir..thats the ideal relationship but after a few years of life we would come to realize that self acceptance of the reality of any situation is what actually matters most cos no matter what.. there is bound to be differences in any relationship and most of the while its Tolerance/Forbearance/Forgiveness that helps us pull through our lives.

Sanskrit has one word to describe Tolerance/Forbearance/Forgiveness and thats Kshama (क्ष्मा)

Ever wondered why religion always emphasizes on Kshama more than anything else?

[9mm_fan]

Dear and Respected Members

“You do not really need someone to complete you….
You just need someone to accept you completely”

That is the beauty of the relation.:-}

a.v.v.v.rajagopal-coimbatore-tamilnadu

This is the kind of quote to expect from Westerners (especially Americans) brainwashed into a system in which every individual tends to be highly egotic and narcissistic.

Raghy has made some sensible observations. Even Europeans will agree with Raghy.

[Drugmachine]

Yes, I agree with Raghy and Naina makes a valid point of how Westerners have become far too
self-centered and self-willed. Basic trust in people and a sort of mutual inter-dependence is lost.

It's always My life / My money / My career / My job / My mortgages / My loans / My EMIs.
My ex wives may lead to My ex job / My ex career / My ex loans / My ex mortgages / My ex EMIs,
but how about ex children / ex sisters / ex brothers / ex friends ?

Saha na vavathu / saha nou bhunakthu / Saha veeryam karavavahai/
tejasvi navadhitamastu ma vidvishvahai /

Om shanti, shanti shantihi'.

May the Eternal guard us both!
May the Eternal rule us both!
May we both make bold attempts!
May our studies become illuminative!
May no difference arise between us!

Peace, Peace Peace.

Was this meant for married couples or an equation between just about any two
individuals? [ I could have used the word 'relationship' instead of 'equation', but
that again is pregnant with meaning(s) ! ]

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

[Raj_Copi_Jin]

Dear and Respected Members

“You do not really need someone to complete you….
You just need someone to accept you completely”

That is the beauty of the relation.:-}

a.v.v.v.rajagopal-coimbatore-tamilnadu

That's the wonderful message Shri. Rajagopal.

No one is 100 percent perfect and no one can be 100 per cent convincing to every other.

A girl - A boy, as true lovers
Husband-Wife
Parents-Children
Brothers-Sisters

In all the above relationships, where no one is 100 per cent perfect, the acceptance of each other for each other alone makes each one complete and worthy to be in relation.

This alone makes the true sense of a true relation, enabling every one to be complete and be in a beautiful relationships.

Once there exists acceptance between the two, each one become complete, having completely accepted each other, the way each other are.

That's how the relationships can survive.

Keep writing such great messages Shri.Rajagopal.

[PhillipHer]

Yes, I agree with Raghy and Naina makes a valid point of how Westerners have become far too
self-centered and self-willed. Basic trust in people and a sort of mutual inter-dependence is lost.

It's always My life / My money / My career / My job / My mortgages / My loans / My EMIs.
My ex wives may lead to My ex job / My ex career / My ex loans / My ex mortgages / My ex EMIs,
but how about ex children / ex sisters / ex brothers / ex friends ?

Saha na vavathu / saha nou bhunakthu / Saha veeryam karavavahai/
tejasvi navadhitamastu ma vidvishvahai /

Om shanti, shanti shantihi'.

May the Eternal guard us both!
May the Eternal rule us both!
May we both make bold attempts!
May our studies become illuminative!
May no difference arise between us!

Peace, Peace Peace.

Was this meant for married couples or an equation between just about any two
individuals? [ I could have used the word 'relationship' instead of 'equation', but
that again is pregnant with meaning(s) ! ]

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

Dear sir,

I would find it hard to generalize that only the west is self centred.
I feel selfish and selfless people are everywhere in this world.
In this world actually if we dissect it further we would realize that each action is based on making our own self happy.
Even when we love someone without realizing it we are actually loving a person for the sake of the self which infact is no different from the Supreme Self.

Ravi..wait wait!!! before you react to this!!LOL I have backup evidence to this.
Sage Yajnavalkya said this to his wife Maitreyi:

Everything is the Self, O Maitreyi !

Yajnavalkya said:
"Verily, not for the sake of the husband, my dear, is the husband loved, but he is loved for the sake of the self which, in its true nature, is one with the Supreme Self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the wife, my dear, is the wife loved, but she is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the sons, my dear, are the sons loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of wealth, my dear, is wealth loved, but it is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the animals, my dear, are the animals loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the brahmin, my dear, is the brahmin loved, but he is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the kshatriya, my dear, is the kshatriya loved, but he is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the worlds, my dear, are the worlds loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the gods, my dear, are the gods loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the Vedas, my dear, are the Vedas loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the beings, my dear, are the beings loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the All, my dear, is the All loved, but it is loved for the sake of the self.

"Verily, my dear Maitreyi, it is the Self that should be realized—should be heard of, reflected on and meditated upon. By the realisation of the Self, my dear, through hearing, reflection and meditation, all this is known.
taken from:http://www.maharajnisargadatta.com/b...a_maitreyi.php


Dear Manohar sir,we do have this prayer too..where its address purely for our own selves.
(Mama means Mine)

Tvameva Mata ca Pita Tvameva, Tvameva Bandhu ca Sakha Tvameva, Tvameva Vidya DravinamTvameva, Tvameva Sarvam Mama Deva Deva.

[Fegasderty]

Doc

Sorry - Westerners being "too self-centered" doesn't quite mean that only the westerners are self-centered .

Further - " Tvameva Matha Cha .............. ", to me is more of a 'surrender' than a 'prayer' wherein the Almighty
is personified and perceived as Mother, Father, Freind ........ etc etc.

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

[brraverishhh]

Doc

Sorry - Westerners being "too self-centered" doesn't quite mean that only the westerners are self-centered .

Further - " Tvameva Matha Cha .............. ", to me is more of a 'surrender' than a 'prayer' wherein the Almighty
is personified and perceived as Mother, Father, Freind ........ etc etc.

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

Fair enough sir.Perfect explanation.

[Slonopotam845]

Doc

Sorry - Westerners being "too self-centered" doesn't quite mean that only the westerners are self-centered .

Further - " Tvameva Matha Cha .............. ", to me is more of a 'surrender' than a 'prayer' wherein the Almighty
is personified and perceived as Mother, Father, Freind ........ etc etc.

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

Actually you are 100% right cos that shloka was coined by Arjuna for Lord Krishna when Arjuna totally surrendered to Him.(I read that somewhere long back)

[TorryJens]

In this world actually if we dissect it further we would realize that each action is based on making our own self happy.
Even when we love someone without realizing it we are actually loving a person for the sake of the self which infact is no different from the Supreme Self.

Ravi..wait wait!!! before you react to this!!LOL I have backup evidence to this.
Sage Yajnavalkya said this to his wife Maitreyi:

Everything is the Self, O Maitreyi !

Yajnavalkya said:
"Verily, not for the sake of the husband, my dear, is the husband loved, but he is loved for the sake of the self which, in its true nature, is one with the Supreme Self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the wife, my dear, is the wife loved, but she is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the sons, my dear, are the sons loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of wealth, my dear, is wealth loved, but it is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the animals, my dear, are the animals loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the brahmin, my dear, is the brahmin loved, but he is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the kshatriya, my dear, is the kshatriya loved, but he is loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the worlds, my dear, are the worlds loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the gods, my dear, are the gods loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the Vedas, my dear, are the Vedas loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the beings, my dear, are the beings loved, but they are loved for the sake of the self.
"Verily, not for the sake of the All, my dear, is the All loved, but it is loved for the sake of the self.

"Verily, my dear Maitreyi, it is the Self that should be realized—should be heard of, reflected on and meditated upon. By the realisation of the Self, my dear, through hearing, reflection and meditation, all this is known.
taken from:A Dialog between Maitreyi and Yajnavalkya from Brihadaranyaka Upanishad


Dear Manohar sir,we do have this prayer too..where its address purely for our own selves.
(Mama means Mine)

Tvameva Mata ca Pita Tvameva, Tvameva Bandhu ca Sakha Tvameva, Tvameva Vidya DravinamTvameva, Tvameva Sarvam Mama
Deva Deva.

Dear Renuka,

I couldn't understand why you have to request me to wait, before justifying your statement that - "Love for the other is for the sake of self, which in fact is not different from the Supreme Self". LOL!!!!

Your high sounding philosophical quotes are great with out a doubt.

Sometimes too much of awareness of philosophical quotes does not help us to shape our self and see through the realities.

Not a single individual is 100 percent perfect, does not matter what is his/her role in a human relationship and how old or young a person is.

1) A Guy/A Girl as true lovers see that the other is happy, having true love, compassion, trust & respect towards each other - This is what is the acceptance, no matter what are the flaws of the other.

2) A mother/father love's her/his children more than her/his needs - This is what is the acceptance, no matter what are the flaws of her/his children.

3) A son/daughter many a times has to heed to the preferences/selections/offering of his/her mother/father and reject one's own choices. - This is what is the acceptance with trust on parents that they wish only good for us and to not to make them upset. No matter parent's too have their own flaws, in some or other ways.

4) A truly loving Husband/Wife, makes sure that the other is happy for which one has to forgo something - This is what is the acceptance, no matter what are the flaws of the other.

5) A Brother or a Sister, sees that the other sibling also could have his/her share. Also extends a heart felt support at the need of the time, though the problem of the sibling was due to her/his own blunders. - This is what is the acceptance, no matter what are the flaws of the other.

In all the above relationships and circumstances, you love the other for the self and that is nothing but a Supreme Love that makes you feel the highest pleasure by losing something or other, by some way or other, from your Supreme Self.

That's what is the beauty of acceptance of the other the way they are, in a relationship. It makes each and every one complete, personally and collectively. Mutual exchange of acceptance and the joy of having lost something personally for the sake of other is what all about beautiful relationship.

Let us not lose the charm of this beautiful and meaningful relationship with our heartfelt acceptance, fooling our self with a wrong notion that - Humans are completely influenced only by their own Supreme Self, so leave everyone and ONLY be dedicated to GOD, in all the Bhakthi and Glory of the God, such that The Supreme Self will not be flawed.

Let us not confuse with the Spiritual Philosophy of realizing the absolute self to get dissolved with the supreme being WITH that of our role, in our life, in our relationships, in which, we as Humans are challenged to achieve the SELF and subsequently the Supreme Self.

Human life has its own charm along with fellow humans, where the Supreme Self 'LOSES" something "only to retain" the "PUREST SUPREME SELF"


Dear Renuka,

I don't believe in back up evidences supported by scriptures in my attempt to live my human life, along with fellow humans, in relationships to the fullest, with my best possible right sense, understanding and acceptance - to achieve to satisfy the self and also to lose to achieve my purest supreme self.

Every one have their way of living. Either by realizations about the life and human relationships on one's own OR by only following and adhering to scriptured quotes (that may be with complete understanding or half backed understanding of in which context and for what purpose such things were quoted)

I share here only my views. Neither to impose on others nor to claim that my views are perfect. And this would continue as long as I feel like posting my views in this Forum.

So, you need not to strain yourself to alarm me to wait...

[NeroASERCH]

Doc

Sorry - Westerners being "too self-centered" doesn't quite mean that only the westerners are self-centered .

You could reword it as Westerners being "only too self-centered" to get the intended meaning.

[Lt_Apple]

Even Europeans will agree with Raghy.

I had a giggle reading this
What does this mean? I could come up with a couple of explanations
o Europeans are hard at agreeing with others?
o If Europeans agree on something, then the rest of us should without a fuss?
o Its so obvious?

[Peptobismol]

I don't believe in back up evidences supported by scriptures in my attempt to live my human life, along with fellow humans, in relationships to the fullest, with my best possible right sense, understanding and acceptance - to achieve to satisfy the self and also to lose to achieve my purest supreme self.

Every one have their way of living. Either by realizations about the life and human relationships on one's own OR by only following and adhering to scriptured quotes (that may be with complete understanding or half backed understanding of in which context and for what purpose such things were quoted)

I share here only my views. Neither to impose on others nor to claim that my views are perfect. And this would continue as long as I feel like posting my views in this Forum.

So, you need not to strain yourself to alarm me to wait...

Dear Ravi,

Don't take it wrongly...I know you like all relationship based threads and from what I know from your post in Forum you seem to be a very loving person who has his own perception about love and human relationships and rather live in this world by sharing this love with everyone known to you.

So I was not alarming you to wait dear...how can I make anything wait?
I am not Kala or even Kalaatheeta.
I am just plain Renuka who wont impose anything even on myself.
Would I want to impose anything on you?

The word "wait wait" is a style of writing commonly used these days and also in yesteryears.

For example : There is a saying of yesteryear which goes that Goddess Parvati does not see Lord Shiva's face once a year.
Then the author explains later..not to get alarmed cos he follows up with an explanation that there is a believe that if anyone sees the moon on the Chaturthi Bhadrapada Shukla Paksa he/she would be accused of stealing.
So thats why Parvati does not see the face of Shiva on that day cos He bears the moon on His head.

So my dear that was just a writing style..not meant to hit you left,right,centre or anyway else!!LOL
I wont want to hurt you in anyway.

[Lt_Apple]

Dear and Respected Members

“You do not really need someone to complete you….
You just need someone to accept you completely”

That is the beauty of the relation.:-}

a.v.v.v.rajagopal-coimbatore-tamilnadu

Shri Rajagopal,

I personally have the pleasure to accept you completely here, in this forum, in this thread. For me, your going silent after your such philosophical OP is complete and your participation turns out to be complete for me...

Though I am losing my pleasure here without your further contribution in this thread about the beauty of relation, I am still satisfied and happy that you would at least continue to make one OP, sharing great thoughts with all of us here.

[S.T.D.]

You could reword it as Westerners being "only too self-centered" to get the intended meaning.

Not all dear ozone,

I used to have a western patient here who used to drop by on and off even when he was not sick just to share with me medical related articles he brings from home(he is not a doctor)
Cos his partner suffers from a rare disease which took many years to diagnose back home where he was from ..so he feels by sharing about this disease with all doctor no other patient will have a delay in diagnosis.

A nice kind person.

[Raj_Copi_Jin]

Shri Rajagopal,

I personally have the pleasure to accept you completely here, in this forum, in this thread. For me, your going silent after your such philosophical OP is complete and your participation turns out to be complete for me...

Though I am losing my pleasure here without your further contribution in this thread about the beauty of relation, I am still satisfied and happy that you would at least continue to make one OP, sharing great thoughts with all of us here.

So, you have decided to accept the quote completely

[Peptobismol]

This is the kind of quote to expect from Westerners (especially Americans) brainwashed into a system in which every individual tends to be highly egotic and narcissistic.

Raghy has made some sensible observations. Even Europeans will agree with Raghy.

Shri Naina_Marbus,

I don't think the quote in the OP can be related to shaping one's complete personality, by all sorts of interactions, involvements and influences, living in a Human society, and grow as a matured adult.

The quote is to be related to human relations, with each others acceptance, to be in a relationship..

For example (other than family relationships. I have hinted the relevance of the OP with family relationships in two of my previous posts) -

1) You don't have the habit of smoking and drinking. But you may still like one such guy with all his personal indulgence as one of your closest friends. Both of you may accept each other, with each others different habits/practices and continue to retain good friendship for years together. Because you both could accept and value each other.

2) You don't believe in God/Spirituality and you have utter contempt towards that. But still you may like a theist and continue to retain your good friendship with him.

3) You don't indulge in and have utter contempt to extra marital affairs. But, you may like a person and be in a very good friendly relationship with him, despite his extra marital affairs with his own personal reasons.

4) You hate folks of other faith. But, you may have a very close friendship with such a person, valuing him and his friendship.

etc..etc..etc...

In all the above examples, both your self and the other guy are complete with the sense of love and respect towards each others friendship and continue to value the relationship. This can happen only because, both of you have heartily accepted each other completely and could make each other complete, with the true sense of friendship.

So, IMO, this quote is applicable to all Humans on this Earth, irrespective of their dwelling zones (East or West)

This post of mine is not to refute your POV. BUT, just an attempt to share my different view with you.

[Raj_Copi_Jin]

So, you have decided to accept the quote completely

Yeah!!!!!

[LottiFurmann]

That's the wonderful message Shri. Rajagopal.

No one is 100 percent perfect and no one can be 100 per cent convincing to every other.

A girl - A boy, as true lovers
Husband-Wife
Parents-Children
Brothers-Sisters

In all the above relationships, where no one is 100 per cent perfect, the acceptance of each other for each other alone makes each one complete and worthy to be in relation.

This alone makes the true sense of a true relation, enabling every one to be complete and be in a beautiful relationships.

Once there exists acceptance between the two, each one become complete, having completely accepted each other, the way each other are.

That's how the relationships can survive.

Keep writing such great messages Shri.Rajagopal.

I recollect an old saying:

No one is wholly good,
No one is wholly bad;
Each one could make us glad
If we but understand.