[LxtdK9i4]

Agreed with both ladies...

Thanks for your inputs all. Me, too, agreed with both ladies that a wai is more than just a hand shake. When you wai you are supposed to face the person you wai or when you 'lab wai' (wai back) but I have noticed and experienced it myself that there are a lot of Thais turn their heads away especially when they wai back which makes me feel that is not genuine and that discourages me to wai ( I ussually wai elderly and those my senior family friends whom I have not seen in a long time. I don't wai if I see them everyday but I say hello and smile etc...and I am sure that other fellow Thais do the same) I don't wai people who are younger than me but I wai them back if they wai me. Though, I don't expect them to wai me

Last night we had dinner at a Thai restaurant in Brisbane, a waitress greeted us with a smile instead of a wai which was fine by us, however, while we were leaving, my Australian husband wai-ed her to thank you and to say goodbye, poor thing she wasn't prepare for that but she managed to half 'lab wai' I didn't wai her because:

1. she was younger than me.
2. Thai don't often do this at the restaurant. (this may conflict with my original post but not because I was her boss but because it was not necessary to do so. - a few nice words are more than enough here)

Similar to another Thai restaurant here that we have become Acquaintances, nonetheless, the owner is way older than I am so I wai her when we go to her restaurant.

I also don't wai bad people To wai someone for me means a lot so I kind of choose whom to wai..... again this may conflict with my original post but the way the writer emphasised upset me and it shouldn't be on the don'ts list as it is more like human behavours.

Cheers,
~Lime~

[Butiqueso]

I think you think too mut. It is possible the writer is a Thai and simply gave a bad example quoting the "boss don't wai first scenerio" but he might have the restaurant scenerio in mind which you had proven he was right anyway.

Personally, I have to say the writer is not wrong because I will never expect any bosses to "wai" to their employees first. Imagine how funny that will be.... or maybe if the boss is not able to pay their salary and have to ask for forgiveness?

Great discussion though.

[Bejemoelemymn]

When it comes to "social graces" in others' cultures, many may misinterpret the reasoning, but can follow the lead.

As in the case with your husband, his wai was a bit of a faux pax, but not because of his "boss" stature.

[L8fGLM4d]

Personally, I have to say the writer is not wrong because I will never expect any bosses to "wai" to their employees first. Imagine how funny that will be.... or maybe if the boss is not able to pay their salary and have to ask for forgiveness?

maybe if the boss goes to a housewarming party / wedding given by an employee? if you are the guest, you wai first, no? especially if you happen to be younger. I would think so but not sure. probably depends on how big-headed the boss is?

[Butiqueso]

maybe if the boss goes to a housewarming party / wedding given by an employee? if you are the guest, you wai first, no? especially if you happen to be younger. I would think so but not sure. probably depends on how big-headed the boss is?

If it is based on Thai culture, no way will the boss "wai" first even at the house warming/ wedding party of an employee. In fact, the employee will feel honoured that the boss come to his house warming/ wedding invitation. In the case of wedding, the employee will be expecting huge gift (money in envelope) from the boss though.

If you are talking about "age", that the boss is younger than the employee by alot, I am not very sure if the employee will "wai" to welcome the boss but I am sure the younger boss will still not "wai" to that employee first.

I have seen an older Thai wai to a younger Thai who I assume should be the son of some very important person.

[L8fGLM4d]

thanks for the explanation Bucky. I guess it makes sense if I think about it.
this is sort of the reason why I think it is better to err on the side of looking too polite and silly, rather than make a big mistake and appear rude.

[LxtdK9i4]

I think you think too mut.

Hi Bucky and all,

It is possible that I may think too much but based on my personal belief and what I had experienced during the time I spent in Thailand I had never heard such thing and that why I was amazed. Maybe I was far from tourist areas or maybe I was far from the world but any how, I still believe that the quote was from the writer's personal belief rather than social belief.

However, my original post wasn't about employment status. Tho, I am sure that a lot of bosses don't wai first but for some situation it would be so rude and crude if he/she doesn't which depends on the situation. Some people might also think that well educated people don't wai older farmer/villagers etc... I have seen teachers, soilders, under cover police man wai elderly regardless their status.

If the boss thinks that his head is big and cannot wai then be my guest They will gain their credit from doing so, tho. Say...if people see a young boss wai a senior employee, they will be praised. People will look at the young boss different way - a good way NOT a ridiculous way

My due, it is totally up to you if you want to wai or not...it all comes back to you and your foundation

Thank you heaps all your useful inputs. I have learnt a lot

Cheers,
~Lime~

[adverwork]

"Oi wai, oi wai", as my Jewish grandfather would have said. Before my first trip to Thailand I read various information about who to wai or not to wai. Quite often it said that as a farang one should not wai to avoid any faux pas. Now I have been to Thailand a few times and I wai whenever I feel it is appropiate.

When I go with one of my Thai friends to visit his family I wai his mother and grandmother. When I am not sure I quite often follow my Thai friends' example, so if we go somewhere and they wai whoever we visit I will also wai. When somebody greets me with a wai I will wai them in return regardless of their age or social standing. In shops I normally don't wai, especially when the shop assistants greet everything that moves through the doors. I also find it awkward to wai when I carry several bags full of shopping and I usually acknowledge a wai with a nod and a smile. When I go to a wat I will wai the monks. I also waied my Thai friend when he was a monk although we normally don't wai each other when we meet.

In general I would say when in Rome ... So when I am in Thailand I try to follow local customs and greet people with a wai rather than a handshake.

TomUK

[ceagstuntee]

I've read different advice on this "wai" issue.

One tourist website suggested that the different levels and qualities of "wai" were so complex a foreigner was bound to mess it up so best not to do it all, that way no offence could be taken.

Another Thai blog, by a Thai, suggested that beyond realizing that a "wai" was generally an act of respect, younger to older, or lesser to greater, it was likely a foreigner would be given good grace in their "waiing" mistakes, by most Thais.

I do a lot of nodding, dipping my head with a smile, kind of a semi-wai, .

On one occasion the resort on Koh Chang I was staying at was setup for Thais rather than Fallangs, no-one spoke English, nothing written in English, you get the drill. Each morning I'd sign language to the elderly lady at the front desk to please lock up my computer then I'd scoot of for the day. She seemed very serious. When I came back that night the same very well lived lady was still on duty. She watched me arrive, very serious face, she watched as I got off the scooter, etc, very very serious face. As I approached her it occurred to me that if any person I'd met on Koh Chang was MY Elder, this lady was it, so I stopped and gave her my best untutored, deep head bowing wai. When my face came back up I was greeted with a MASSIVE smile illuminating her face and she chattered something to me in Thai which sounded very happy and was the first time she'd even spoken.

So I'm guessing, when our intentions are good people have no difficulty interpreting our intent regardless of how clumsy our understanding of the fine points is.

Mikel.