[BalaGire]

One approach that may help in this situation is to turn things around and say something like, "Well, we have certainly enjoyed this visit with you, but we have kept you here far too long, and you must have lots of things to do besides sit here and listen to our stories . . . ." In other words, make it sound like you were the one dragging out the visit.

DogoDon

I was going to mention this strategy in my reply (Post #2). I had resorted to this before. During a lull in the conversation, I said, "You must be very tired now from all that shopping you did the whole day--and we are still keeping you here!" But before I could beat an eyelash one of my guests said, " Never mind, we have a free day tomorrow." And they stayed on to tell more stories.

That's why I shifted to a relatively more "direct" approach.

I think these guests did not really want to be a pain. They're simply ignorant of the etiquette on visiting observed in some culture.

[VipInoLo]

Norb, there have been some good answers here, so good luck in moving to your new home.

[BalaGire]

In my own culture this could also present some problems. Some guests tend to overstay their welcome. When I am the host, I might look for a gap in the conversation and say something like, " Oh, we had a great time today. ( This is to hint closure.) Too bad it's already late and we are traveling out tomorrow and I need to pack ( or any true reason). I would have wanted us to talk more about that business venture that you mentioned ( or any topic). But we can get together again soon. Thank you for coming." Then I would stand up and shake their hands or buss them.

Since it is also part of our culture, I might pack some dish or fruits and hand it to them. This is to communicate goodwill and soften any feeling on their part of being driven away, if ever there's any.

This technique often works without offending the overstaying guests.

[StitlyDute]

Your wife could tell the couple that it was time for her to take you to rest or tell them she'd wanna give them some snacks or something else before they left. They'd leave for sure after she handed them something or just after your wife came back from dropping you to bed. Don't mention time or pile up reasons. lol Thai people can think way toooo much over lil thing like that. lol

[arrismVam]

Thanks for the feedback. My wife probably would have said something sooner or later using me for an excuse. That's always convenient in our case. But ThuggieDuckie I don't go to bed at 4 p.m.

We were actually wondering if it is impolite in Thailand like here for the host to tell guests directly it was time to leave even though the guests really have not been overstaying. If on the other hand they have stayed too long, Marie's suggestion sounds like a good solution. Suda, the oldest one of the three and the one most fluent in English, told us all there was to tell about the graduate program she finished here in Fort Collins and the very complicated, interesting Chinese-Thai wedding customs. But we could have come up with something good. Me having to rest (not sleep ) worked fine.

[Illirmpipse]

Norb, this reminds me of the skit on Saturday Night Live called "The Thing that Wouldn't Leave". Maybe you also remember it.

Anyway, to look on the bright side, your guests obviously must have been enjoying your company, or they would have high-tailed it out of there at the first chance. So you can take it as a compliment that they wanted to stay.

One approach that may help in this situation is to turn things around and say something like, "Well, we have certainly enjoyed this visit with you, but we have kept you here far too long, and you must have lots of things to do besides sit here and listen to our stories . . . ." In other words, make it sound like you were the one dragging out the visit.

DogoDon

[arrismVam]

I'm a bit confused about Thai customs. Today we had three Thai friends over for lunch here in the US. They own and run a Thai restaurant in town. This was not the first time they've been over here. While they are in their 30s, my wife and I are much older, their parents age. They came around noon and brought delicious Masaman curry, kao niow mamuang, and a beautifully carved watermelon with flowers and birds. Nuch had been practicing for a rehearsal wedding dinner at the restaurant this week.

Lunch was delicious and we had good conversation afterwards for quite some time. In the past we had watched a Thai movie together, one time we did karaoke and another time we played WII and they stayed a long time afterwards. This time since we are getting ready to move, everything was packed. After about four hours we were getting really tired and they also were yawning. We were hoping they would say it was time to leave but they didn't. Here in the US it is very impolite for a host to end a visit. Since I am much older and also in a wheelchair, I did decide to take initiative and said I needed to rest. They got up immediately and started to take care of the leftovers and the dishes. They then went outside with my wife to look at the garden. She gave them a whole bunch of our mint plants which they were not too shy to ask for. I guess this was because we had given them some of our leftover furniture before and promised them some more as soon as we leave.

We did have a good time and the food was delicious as usual. They are good friends and we will miss them. In retrospect we should have brought up the topic of how to end a visit in Thailand but didn't.

Would appreciate your input. What are good manners and what are bad manners in Thailand. I guess it also depends on how well people know each other and whether they share the same culture or not.

[StitlyDute]

sorry, thought it was happening in the evening or late at night. By the way, It's not impolite to tell them so but they might feel bad thinking they are causing inconvenience for you. That's all. Like I said, lol Thai people can think way too much over such thing. lol

[quottrethew]

Well, if you are brave enough you could go along the lines that our University Principal takes. After being at his for dinner along with a party of about 20, he suddenly stood up at 10pm and declared 'well that concludes tonights entertainment, can I get anyone a taxi'......priceless

[M_Marked]

Yes, the simplest way is to be direct, not to make many excuses. Offer fruit and other food and generally keep a cheery atmosphere going. Apart from the parting gifts, I'd think this is universal to any culture.