[HaseBeceDeemy]

It would be appreciated if a Thai person could answer this as only they will understand the nuances:
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Question 1:
I give a small gift to someone like a hotel receptionist and she does a "wai" of thanks. Should I return the "wai"? Or is just a nod, smile and "Mai ben rai" okay? Or maybe say "Indee khog Pom Krap"?

Question 2:
I have a Thai teacher who is much younger than I am. I am also an "acharn" but she has never been my student:
At the beginning and end of each class should I "wai" her first as my teacher?

If I were to run into her in two years after class is over (and again, I am about 20 years older than her) should I "wai" her first again: In other words, once a teacher, always my teacher?

Question 3: How sensitive are Thais to this "wai" custom meaning if a farang gets in wrong (does not wai a teacher first etc) will they be offended or will they just let it slide as another "farang mistake"?
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Thank you!

[InsManKV]

It would be appreciated if a Thai person could answer this as only they will understand the nuances:

Sorry, I can't help with the "subtle nuances" but I am sure others here can (including some Farangs )

[AntonayPina]

I'm sure it is better to overdo it than not do it when you should.
I am not Thai but I would say first case nod and smile. with your teacher, I think wai.

[cinggooft]

I am not a Thai but I would probably handle them like this. If I commit any faux fas, please correct me.

Question 1:
I give a small gift to someone like a hotel receptionist and she does a "wai" of thanks. Should I return the "wai"? Or is just a nod, smile and "Mai ben rai" okay? Or maybe say "Indee khog Pom Krap"? I will smile or say Mai Pen Rai.

Question 2:
I have a Thai teacher who is much younger than I am. I am also an "acharn" but she has never been my student:
At the beginning and end of each class should I "wai" her first as my teacher? I will initiate the wai at the beginning and end of each class.

If I were to run into her in two years after class is over (and again, I am about 20 years older than her) should I "wai" her first again: In other words, once a teacher, always my teacher? I will again initiate the wai when I see her. I still regard her as my teacher even though she may not be teaching me at that time. Students have a debt of gratitude towards their teacher. Teachers impart knowledge and give guidance to thier students so that they can do well in life. No matter how high I climb in life, I will still be indebted to her.

Question 3: How sensitive are Thais to this "wai" custom meaning if a farang gets in wrong (does not wai a teacher first etc) will they be offended or will they just let it slide as another "farang mistake"? Thais generally will not be offended if you do not follow the proper wai ritual.

[gennnniiikk]

I'm not Thai either but what Betti and yeows say makes sense to me.

How high you hold your hands when making a wai is also significant, but as long as you are obviously attempting to be courteous and show respect, the Thais will not fault you or get offended.

But since you are dealing specifically with your teacher, why not ask her?

[ZonaPutaX]

Rule of Thumb as Thais had taught me….

1. For anyone older then you: Wai to them first. They will return Wai.

2. For anyone younger then you: No need, but just say “wat dee krup/ka”. They may Wai to you and only then you Wai back. I had no idea in the beginning and Wai-ed to anything on legs until someone corrected me.

3. For anything that looks like they have been on earth longer then you: Wai to them, clarify later about age issues and engage in proper Wai on next encounter.

As for us overdoing it and looking like a Wai-kaholic or anyone who missed a Wai, no worries, Thais will understand that we are foreigners.

[AntonayPina]

if it was only age, it would be easy. but as it stands, it is appropriate for me to wai the immigration official who extends my visa even if he is younger than me. or my Thai teacher who is younger. or my boss if she is younger. or a monk. or even a little boy who is two years old and all the adults around are helping him to learn how to wai properly by showing an example.

[Eromereorybig]

if it was only age, it would be easy. but as it stands, it is appropriate for me to wai the immigration official who extends my visa even if he is younger than me. or my Thai teacher who is younger. or my boss if she is younger. or a monk. or even a little boy who is two years old and all the adults around are helping him to learn how to wai properly by showing an example.

The best answer so far but could some Thais make some comments on this forum

[LOVEBoy]

... it is appropriate for me to wai the immigration official who extends my visa even if he is younger than me.

That made me lol. I renewed my visa the other day and those immigration policewomen certainly do get a lot of wais, especially the most senior, the inspector who has her own small office and has to give you the final approval.

I noticed that the deepest wais to the immigration officers came from the girls who regularly accompany different clients to the visa office to hold their hands. I think they have some deal whereby they call beforehand and get some special ticket that allows them to jump the queue, since I had number 45 and some guy who came in an hour after me and who was with a girl obviously familiar to the officials managed to get sorted in 10 minutes.

It took me 2 hours.

[cinggooft]

The wai is a situation-specific ritual. There are general rules governing who should initiate the wai and what type of wai is used. Social status and age are two very important factors in determining who should wai first and how high the wai should be.

Those who are high up in the hierarchy (and therefore have high status) are e.g. monks, members of the royal family, ministers, teachers, doctors and bosses. Those with high social status receives the wai from people with a lower status.

A junior person will initiate the wai when meeting a senior person. Thus, the employee will always wai the boss first. A high wai is given and the boss reciprocates by giving a lower wai.

People who are older than us are treated with respect and are deemed to be above us in status. These include our parents, older relatives and neighbours and even strangers.

Howver if a man buys some groceries from an old lady, he doesn't initiate a wai. In this social exchange, he is a customer and that places him above the seller even though she is older than him.

The confusion usually comes when we are unsure of where we stand in the social ladder when meeting another party. A useful tip is to find out what our role is during the encounter e.g. client-salesman, superior-subordinate, parent-child, teacher-student, senior government official-normal citizen, royalty-commoner... No two persons are "equal".

As a rule, we do not wai those in the service line, maids or children.

[seawolferr]

What about people of similar age, when you are unsure, meeting for social reasons?

[ZonaPutaX]

Howver if a man buys some groceries from an old lady, he doesn't initiate a wai. In this social exchange, he is a customer and that places him above the seller even though she is older than him.

True yeows... and also some things learnt through a few years here are:

Business Rules
Anyone who looks like they are going to statistically raise your sales figures no matter what age: Wai to them.

Traffic Rules
Any brown characters that look like they are going to deflate your wallet by stopping you in the middle of road: Wai to them first to minimize deflation effect.

[JANALA]

What I have always thought is that if I was in that situation where I didn't know whether to wai or not, I'd just bow my head. It still shows respect but it's not going to be socially awkward if you get it wrong.

[cinggooft]

What about people of similar age, when you are unsure, meeting for social reasons?

If someone is doing the introduction, it would be easy. You can ask your friend/colleague if that person is senior or junior than you. Another clue is the person of a lower status will always be addressed first in an introduction. Thus, a junior employee will be introduced before her boss.

It is unusual for someone to just walk right up and introduce himself or herself to a total stranger unless it takes place in a pub. But I can't help you with that. I have never been in that situation before.

[prearpaccew]

Thais generally will not be offended if you do not follow the proper wai ritual.

It's my understanding that it is better to bungle a wai than to not at least aknowledge it somehow. True, Thais are very forgiving of farang mistakes but to ignore a wai is really rude.

[PVaQlNaP]

What about people of similar age, when you are unsure, meeting for social status?

If someone is doing the introduction, it would be easy. You can ask your friend/colleague if that person is senior or junior than you. Another clue is the person of a lower status will always be addressed first in an introduction. Thus, a junior employee will be introduced before her boss.

It is unusual for someone to just walk right up and introduce himself or herself to a total stranger unless it takes place in a pub. But I can't help you with that. I have never been in that situation before.

It is also my understanding that Thais are usually very adept in noticing the intanglibles that will show the social status.

No doubt some of the finer points of deciding, who is above who, are particular for Thai culture even if they for an outsider would appear to have the same social status.

[Cnbaapuy]

äËÇé (wai) - to greet, to show respect to each other, to apologize, to thank someone, to say goodbye. Wai can be interpreted and expressed as amiability, kindness, manners, courteousness, upbringing of that person, etc.

ÃѺäËÇé (rab wai) - to acknowledge being wai-ed by wai-ing back. Generally it’s impolite if ‘no rab wai or no return wai’. High level in the royal family and monks don’t have to do ‘rab wai’. We don’t have to wai back in some situations.

Many people think only a smile or a nod is ok, but some people esp. old generations consider it’s rude, depending on background and social circle they are from.

Wai is sensitive among Thai people, the culture of wai has been changing following modern world, globalization, some say this culture is old-fashioned, some don’t even care to do it properly, some have never been taught how to wai properly. Anyway wai-ing does have impact more or less in our everyday life.

When to wai: the person of higher social status and older person should be wai-ed to, if you are not sure, it’s the safe side to wai them first.

Greeting
A: wai + saying ‘Sawaddee krup/kha’
I don’t recommend to say ‘waddee’ instead of ‘sawaddee’ to the person you are not familiar with.

B: wai back + saying ‘Sawaddee krup/kha’

Whenever I join my school reunion, most of us wai each other when arrive and leave, some are respectable in society, some have special rank in front of their names, etc. It’s the best to wai each other regardless who wai who first.

You can see that many Thais wai each other almost at the same time regardless the age.

Each Thai person will give you different answers depend on their background and judgment in each case.

Question 1:
I give a small gift to someone like a hotel receptionist and she does a "wai" of thanks. Should I return the "wai"? Or is just a nod, smile and "Mai ben rai" okay? Or maybe say "Indee khog Pom Krap"?

If she is a senior receptionist or her age is not much different from you, it’s better to wai her back and smile. Some people just smile and a nod.

Question 2:
I have a Thai teacher who is much younger than I am. I am also an "acharn" but she has never been my student:
At the beginning and end of each class should I "wai" her first as my teacher?
I attended some courses related to my work, the teacher was younger than all students, she wai-ed us as soon as she stepped into the classroom, we 'rab wai' her. After that the teacher and all of us wai-ed each other almost at the same time.

Anyway, some Thai teachers like to be wai-ed no matter how old students are.

Question 3: How sensitive are Thais to this "wai" custom meaning if a farang gets in wrong (does not wai a teacher first etc) will they be offended or will they just let it slide as another "farang mistake"?
Foreigners are not expected to wai properly same as Thais .

[KellyMP]

Well i would normally Wai someone older or the same age if greeting them...
Or if its a person of social heirchy like a Doctor or lawyer etc.

However i do feel that Thais dont really expect foreigners to Wai as lets face it
(we are just foreigners)

Usually a simple nod of the head will do the trick for us.
If you do decide to wai when meeting at a dinner table then everyone else should to wai too...

Just make sure you direct the Wai to the elder or higher social class figure.
or it could be embarassing for the others.

To Wai or not to Wai?

[triardwonvada]

Howver if a man buys some groceries from an old lady, he doesn't initiate a wai. In this social exchange, he is a customer and that places him above the seller even though she is older than him.
.

the explanation about being higher in status than sellers helps. When we lived in the village my wife tended to wai the ladies at the fruit or vegetable stand. I always told her that it was not right but could never explain it to her.