[Adamdjeffe]

A friend of mine is going back to her home state for her Grandmothers Tham Boon Baan. I believe that is to "give merit" to the passed after 100 days. Actually this will have been close to 6 months but it was the only time everyone could get together there.

Anyway, to my point, it's my friend's birthday as well so I was going to mail her a card but the more I thought about it I would really rather give her or her family something more appropriate in relation to the ceremony and why they're all there. That way it's not as if she's getting a gift or special attention while the rest of the family is there really to honor her Grandmother. I wouldn't want to detract from that in any way.

Does anybody know of an appropriate gift for an occasion like this, if any?? I was thinking maybe just some flowers but what kind?? Or maybe some other momento or trinket I could pick up somewhere??

Thanks in advance for any advice or suggestions!!

-Matt

[Adamdjeffe]

Well she is already married to another guy, and she is just a good friend of mine, so is money really the appropriate thing to give when you're not a relative? And she is going back home to the East coast, whereas I live on the West coast, so I will have to mail the gift. I suppose I could FedEx them $100 or something but I was thinking more along the lines of maybe flowers etc. Afterall, if I send her $100 for Tham Boon will she get it or will it go towards the entire family?? It's her b-day as well too so they will be doing something for that too. Maybe I'll just send her a b-day gift and order some flowers for the Tham Boon.

[AntonioMQ]

mattHBCali, your idea of sending her a birthday gift and flowers for the Tham boon is appropriate. When a family get together to Tham boon for 100 days anniversary of a family member's passing, it includes going to a temple and make merit there. Friends can be involved in the celebration by giving money as mat has mentioned. So it would be confusing if you send money for Tham boon and also say happy birthday.

[NutChusty]

If your friend is going back home to "Tham Boon " then in this instance the appropriate thing do do is give a donation of money and "Tham Boon" yourself.
Whenever my wife goes home she will "Tham Boon" and friends of hers will give donations to "Tham Boon" and vice versa.
Just put some money in an envelope and write your name on it and give it to your friend and tell her it is for "Tham Boon".