[usaneisfiecup]

How much do Thai ppl care about the significance of a 21st Birthday? Do they celebrate them as much as we do in Australia or England? My friends 21st is coming up in a couple of weeks and i am coming over for it. She hasn't told me of any plans for a party and I am trying to find out how these occasions are handled! She is a very good friend of mine and I want to know what would be an appropriate gift for her birthday. She doesn't have a lot of money but I would like her to have a good birthday if that's what she wants. An insite into this area would be cool. I want to learn!!

[DownloadMan]

I have never heard of anything special happening on any birthday here, no one seems to notice or do anything special.

Maybe in some parts they do but not where I have lived,,why not ask her.

[LeslieMoran]

"party at a drop of a hat..."

Here in my neck of the woods - we take 'em to the ole liquor store and have them buy their first LEGAL 6-pack of bud light.

Clothes are always a good gift, and a weird plant!

[DownloadMan]

well here no one seems to notice birthdays, no one ever says anything to my wife or kid, I always buy em something and we both get something for the kid, but never anyone else in the family ever gets her anything, so I take it that birthdays is kinda like sundays, just another day..

[johnteriz]

..just another day...

And another party?

When my friend had a birthday her friends expected her to buy them drinks...
The only present she got was from me.

[AccusaJalsBub]

I think it would be very appropriate to go out and buy a cake and some special food and drinks for her and her family and/or friends. If you tell her that's what you want to do, you've probably made all the plans necessary for a great time. I just had my own birthday party last month in Thailand. I bought most of the food and drinks. Here's the cake they provided.
Attachment 262

[DownloadMan]

I had my 71 st. birthday here last year, and here a pic of the cake that was provided at my party.

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thats just like it too.

[AnypecekceS]

I think the legal age for drinking is 20 so I would expect that date to have more meaning even though young Thais know where they could illegally hit the bottle. My girlfriends have always celebrated by going out to pubs on birthdays. Not sure that they really care about the significance of the day so much as they just want to go out and drink. Hmm, that's just like here in the US.

[AccusaJalsBub]

I had my 71 st. birthday here last year, and here a pic of the cake that was provided at my party.

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thats just like it too.

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[!!Aaroncheg]

well, just because many people don't celebrate birthdays, it's no reason to follow suit, is it? if they are not used to it, they will appreciate it even more that they get a cake, presents, a surprise! especially a surprise, whatever it is, a favourite CD or a huge big bunch of flowers. btw, at my school we DO celebrate birthdays, kids get cakes from the school management and they bring their own from home so that everyone can have some. we have the parents' birthdays on record so that we can send the kids home with a nice drawing or a present they make for their parents on their birthdays. and teachers give each other presents too, just some sweets or a cuddly animal or something funny. I also got presents from my Thai boss and from the landlady at the mansion where I'm staying - chocolate and fruits. times are changing.

[Caursedus]

Just another birthday in Thailand, just another birthday party, Thai's celebrate all the time.
I remember talking to a girl who just had her 21st birthday, and she wondered, why I considered it more important than her 20th birthday, which is of course, one of the "BIG 0" birthday's.

[DownloadMan]

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First some folks think that Thai way and traditions/customs are best, Thats what we do in the country.
Then the next one comes up and says that it should be the western way and celebrate birthdays with presents and party's like is done in the city's from western influence.

What I really think is most people think that it should be which ever way that suits them and they personally gain the most, be it Thai way or farang way.

Betti, yes, you teach in an international school so I think that things should be done the way that you are teaching your students about.
Yes times are changing, but to hear some on here talk it is wrong and the customs should be upheld above all.
I am international and can have it either way and be comfortable with it. But you will remember I was banned for talking against the advantages of the old customs.

[!!Aaroncheg]

yes, it's an international school, the management is farang but the staff and colleagues and kids I'm talking about are 80% Thai. all these organisational aspects of birthdays are managed by Thai staff and Thai parents, as they can communicate with each other much more easily. I think having fun is in line with Thai traditions, so I don't think it's against traditional ways. my guess is that they were or are reluctant to celebrate birthdays and especially give/receive presents because that focuses on individuals and puts one person in the centre of attention, instead of being more of a community and sharing occasion. as it was mentioned above, Thais tend to invite others to celebrate instead of being invited by friends, that sounds to me like a local adaptation of birthdays as we know them.

[DownloadMan]

All well and good, people send kids to international schools so thats the edu. that they receive, some people do not want their children to just know about how it is done at home and if they can afford it then you get a job.
But the traditional Thai, at least as I have found and been told, do not go in for birthday celebrations and in fact are not even noticed here in the country where we live, where my wife was born and has lived all her life and I am told that the way it is.
But in the citys they are more westernized and have been changing ways now for many years and so things are done differently there than where we live away from the fast lane, look at the way they dress, you see very few in traditional Thai dress,I see very few that are not, and business people act very differently that they did even in the short time that I have been coming here, They used to dress,act Thai, now they dress and act like a western business man, but change is fast and in another 50 years it will be the same as downtown san jose calif.
Every city Thai wants to be and look farang, drive autos and wear florsheim shoes and a suit with a tie, Have a power lunch with beer and whiskey on a table surrounded by their associates, the only ones of that class Thai that want the old ways are younger Thai that only want the parts that suit them and they can profit from. Where we live they never talk it but live it.
If it looks like a duck and talks like a duck,,then it must be a duck, unless it wants to look like a farang..
All your clients want their kids to speak english and here they don't care if any speak it, Thai is good enough for them.

[r7rGOhvd]

How much do Thai ppl care about the significance of a 21st Birthday?

I just want to go back to the original question -- the 21st Birthday. No it is not more significant than any other year.

In my family, (I think we're normal Thai family anyway ut other might do differently), every year, if possible, we µÑ¡ºÒµÃ in the morning.
(see translation here http://www.thai2english.com/dictionary/15334.html).

Then we go on doing out thing as it was normal day - e.g. go to school, work, etc.

When I was kid, I made a card (drawing on a piece paper) on my mom or my dad's Birthday.

In the evening, if convenience, we have dinner together, invite other people in the family. (and tell them do not have to bring any present, we do not expect any). I think it is just an excuse to have party, seeing other member of family and have nice food

When I was kid I did recieve some Birthday present from adult (pajamas, few 100 Bt tuck in a box of Biscuit, etc.) and have a cake to blow and they all singing happy birthday. Obviously, adult birthday such as my dad's has no cake and no present, just food and happiness of having family all round.

But then again that kind of 'getting together' can happen in any other occasion; not limited to Birthday so Birthday is not the main point.

some of the year, I told mom not to have 'getting together' for my Birthday since I will be out with my friends, but they still did it without me That's why I said it is not because it is my Birthday but it is just because it is about time they have 'getting together' again.

That is in family point of view.

Then as a friends point of view. I always give my Thai friends birthday card and presents, and I always receive from them (point out that I did not go to international school; it is all Thai school, and I don't think we all want to be like westerner; please don't generalise) but many of times we (a group of friends) share money so there will be one card sign by everybody and one good piece of present. It have been done like this from late Primary to University. We might have lunch or dinner together but friends won't come to my family 'get-together'

However, I notice this is a girly thing though. I hardly seen guys doing this. Maybe just pat in the back and said happy Birthday (na woi).

It will never be wrong to just give a person a little card and gift on her Birthday, I am sure she will appreciate it; may be you can explain to her why 21st Birthday is so important in your culture.

[valiumcheepval]

None of my wifes family in Samutprakarn celebrate birthdays and indeed some do not even remember how old they are.My sister in law who is about 2 years older than my wife swears that she is the same age!!
My wife says that her family never celebrated birthdays as they never had the money to spend doing so.

[usaneisfiecup]

TK, thanks for sharing the stories of you family...very warm to hear.

[r7rGOhvd]

I think having fun is in line with Thai traditions, so I don't think it's against traditional ways. my guess is that they were or are reluctant to celebrate birthdays and especially give/receive presents because that focuses on individuals and puts one person in the centre of attention, instead of being more of a community and sharing occasion. as it was mentioned above, Thais tend to invite others to celebrate instead of being invited by friends, that sounds to me like a local adaptation of birthdays as we know them.

Ah.. I just read Betti's post after I post mine above and that's exactly what I want to say

and Thanks, Pailin.

Just add a bit that in the 'get-together' event, we also invite neighbours. My mom's typical invitation phase are 'please come and help us eat, we've got lots of food and help us sing Birthday song, too.

Anyway; notice another question from original post;

I want to know what would be an appropriate gift for her birthday.

I really can't say what since I don't really know how close you are and what she would like, what is her hobby, what she like to wear, etc.

I just tried to think back when I was early 20s, most of presents I received from friends are varied; from underwear (note: from very close girlfriends), cute cartoony stationery, a (useless) figurine, CDs and books, t-shirt, handbag, hair accesories to a potted plant (from a male friend). These are not high value, probably no more than 200Bt and most of them within 50-100Bt. I wasn't went on remind everyone about my Birthday and I won't expect present or anything but they do find out especially it usually publish in school book or something like that. (Some people might just find out on the day and do not have any presies but just nice blessing is enough.) And sometimes it does make the day especially when you do not expect to receive any

[DownloadMan]

Different country's have different customs and thanks for yours.
In Mexico things are done quite different, but like Thai, any excuse for a party serves the purpose.
It is the 15th year that is special to them for a girl and a big deal and the family sometimes goes into debt for that one.Many expensive presents, a new white formal dress, much gold jewelry is given and a formal dance party.
But any birthday is a big party, when I lived there a neighbor had a party for a 5 year old child, they rented from a rent all shop all the tables and accessory's such as a large plastic building that is pumped up with air with slides and things a child plays in and with, they always buy a pinyata[sp] , many cases of beer and a lot of whiskey, a DJ, and a big BBQ is held and the party goes on all day and until the next morning and all the booze is drank.all this for a 5 year old, so you see it is just an excuse for a party.

When I was in Korea and my birthday came around it was a big deal and cost me a months pay for the setup, the ladies planned it for a week and there was heaps of foods cooked special by all the ladys and people were at the party that I had never seen before, everyone ate, drank and had a hell of a time and the party went on until daylight and all our furniture was busted up and people were laying all over the place, never want to see another like that one..

[r7rGOhvd]

Different country's have different customs and thanks for yours.
...
But any birthday is a big party, when I lived there a neighbor had a party for a 5 year old child, they rented from a rent all shop all the tables and accessory's
...

When I was in Korea and my birthday came around it was a big deal and cost me a months pay for the setup, ... never want to see another like that one..

Yeah, that's true. Even in Thailand, there're all kinds of people regarding this Birthday culture. I means some people can't afford to just have special little thing for their Birthday or too busy or not bother for whatever reason which is fine, however, in opposite scale there are also people who go over the top as a thai proverb ตำน้ำพริกละลายแม่น้ำ (play ducks and drakes) or ขี่ช้างจับตั๊กแตน . I suppose if that's gonna make them happy it is up to them, for me just have a chance to do my ตักบาตร, that make me happy enough