[PriernPayorse]

I think that this will be a difficult topic for you. In my opinion it will be hard to draw meaningfull parallels between a given religion and relationships. I think that culture is more important here. To be sure, Thai culture is influenced by Buddhism, but as someone pointed out, it may be quite different culturally from other predominantly Buddhist cultures (ie, Bhutan, or Sri Lanka). Think about all of the nations that are predominantly Christian. Compare dating in the US to dating in Chile, or Tuvalu, and I think you will find that other aspects of culture besides religion affect things like dating, to a greater degree. In many ways, dating in Thailand is not a lot different than it was here in the US a 50 years ago, or so. There is still for example, a widely held expectation that you will marry your first "serious" (ie, sexual) girlfriend/boyfriend. This is changing, but I think it has little to do with Buddhism. You may want to refine your topic. Good luck!

-mike

[HornyMolly]

Also if you know of anywhere I can get images of the everyday dress, beauty, and other images that could be helpful.

any ideas would be greatly appreciated

[cokLoolioli]

Mikenz66 I felt the exact same thing, but didn't want to offend and I am not good with tactfulness like you.

From what you have so far me, I would say you are very off base. You may be close when you consider only the city. But Thailand as a whole is absolutely nothing like what you seem to have assumed. Keep in mind too that Gor (the key writer for that website) is from Bangkok. Many times the actions and lifestyles of the youth in Bangkok do not have 'the approval' of the adults outside the city. Thailand is very different from what Bangkok is in many aspects. Bangkok is simply the largest portion of Thailand that is online and connected to the world, thus all you would see unless you go there.

That would be like comparing San Fransisco to the rest of the USA. Ohh Canada, sorry that would be like me spending 2 days in Toronto or Windsor and assuming that Canada as a whole has the same standards as those cities. An asumption like this would likely offend those in Calgary would it not? Same situation.

[HornyMolly]

Thank you very much to the both of you, and yes i do have problems reading at times and i've never seen those boards, i will check them out now though.

Yes I personally knew it would be a hard topic, especially dealing with the religion and how that itself does vary from different countries, so I hate to throw a bunch of different cultures into one pot, so to speak. I think in a lot of ways religion when not mixed in with society has very little to do with relationships, besides marriages and a few other things, but my group thinks otherwise I guess, especially since some of them are from backgrounds where their culture/religion go hand in hand. But now we've made it so broad of a topic that its really going to cover just the basics. Its only a 10-15 min presentation and we are each doing a different religion, 4/5 religions in general. So its going to be interesting to see how it pans out since that isn't enough time to cover the basics of one, let alone 4! So yes I agree with what you are saying.

I think I'm just going to stick with the basics of buddhism itself and not worry about trying to incorporate a culture, since my portion is only going to be a minute or so.

Because of this project I've researched Buddhism itself a fair bit now and it seems very very interesting.

sorry this kind of went off on a tangent/rant.

[appletango]

Me, tact? I do use the delete key a lot

Visionchaser45 is probably too modest to point to his contributions to the following thread. I think he does a good job of summing up the importance of understanding and appreciating what you are dealing with:
http://www.thailandqa.com/forum/show...3897#post43897

[HornyMolly]

Thanks for the help. I've looked at that website before and just had another look at it too, but it still isn't providing quite what I'm looking for, although I probably won't find that. I have most all of my presentation done, I was just looking for a tad bit more information.

i've done a lot of research and I was just looking for a first hand view of the culture/intimate relationships in Thailand. I was using Thailand because from what I've found it has the highest percentage of buddhists.

From what I can conclude is that Thailand seems to be a lot like western cultures in the aspect of relationships and what not. There is dating, the couple can live on their own and their dress seems to be quite normal.

It's interesting because with other cultures and relationships they have very strict rules when it comes to dating/marriage, but it doesn't seem to be that way with buddhism. Just as long as you have respect for each other and your not in it for self gratification then its all good or so it seems.

I was just looking for a culture that could somehow show buddhism in practive in this way, but I don't think I'm going to find that, especially given the amount of time I have and it's hard to learn the aspects of a whole other religion/culture in a short period of time, although I think i've done pretty good.

Are there any specific customs that go along with relationships that aren't similiar in the west? Equiette wise?

[HornyMolly]

hi there,

I not sure where this fits the best, so i'll just put it in daily life.
I'm doing a project about relationships and how they are affected by various cultures and religions. My part is to do it from a buddhist perspective, i have all the general guidelines within buddhism about love and intimate relationships, but i was just wondering how concepts of beauty, living arrangements, family ideals play into factor within the Thai culture. I choose this culture because the majority of the population is said to be Buddhist, so does buddhism have an affect on the everyday lay person and their romantic relationships?

I've been doing a lot of research, but haven't found anything specific relation buddhism and everyday lives to this topic. or if you have anywhere i could find this information that would be great too.

thank you very much!!

[Inenuedbabnor]

Hi Me;

In fact, the true traditions and customs of Thailand in regards to dating/relationship are pretty strict in comparison to the west.

According to the true customs of the country you can't just go living together etc... unless you are actually married.

However, since Thailand has developed into a 'developing country' standards have changed a lot, especially amongst the urban folks.

If you are looking for a Buddhist country that strictly adheres to custom and traditions concerning dating/relationship etc...perhaps you ought to look at the likes of Burma/Laos or especially Bhutan.

Sure, Buddhism is very laid-back in that respect as there really are no 'fixed guidelines'

[euylvaygdq]

...their dress seems to be quite normal. Think about this statement long and hard. If you are going to be conducting cross-cultural research, you must strike the word "normal" from your vocabulary. Ask yourself why that might be? I assume this is a presentation for a college course because your profile indicates you are 19 years old???

[appletango]

..their dress seems to be quite normal.

...you must strike the word "normal" from your vocabulary.

This is a crucial thing to keep in mind when interacting with other cultures. Just because young people all over asia are wearing jeans and cell phones and know the same movies and music as you doesn't mean that they will think and act like a western person when it comes down to important issues...

I don't want to read too much into Me's post, and I'm probably being completely unfair, but the more I think about it the statement that winds up with "...their dress seems to be quite normal." carries the implied message that "they are basically OK because they are now quite westernized".

I'm sure that other people on this board could tell you much more interesting stories than I could about how surprising, challenging, and ultimately rewarding it is when you discover that your assumptions of how people from other cultures are going to react to you is completely mistaken...

[cokLoolioli]

Most of the people here are Buddhist. This very forum you posted to has a link right on the forum description the will take you to www.thailandlife.com, nobody will do the report for you, but I am sure you can find all the information you need right from that link.

[cokLoolioli]

Yes that was one of my favorite posts from Vision! He really said it well, with not much left question.

[pageup85]

try google or yahoo for the pictures...just click the image tab at the top of the search box....

that or go through the thai blogs at this site- http://www.thai-blogs.com/ you'll find lots of different pictures of everyday life there...

[HornyMolly]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone, but thank you for the clarification. I was just going on what I've seen so far, which was a bad idea and very naive of me.

As for westernization I'm really not a big fan of it at all.

[appletango]

Me, I'm certainly not offended, and I'm sure the other people who have replied are not either. Your questions are fine. We just want to help you see how difficult they are to answer! None of us should be annoyed by slightly simplistic questions from newcomers. What gets really annoying is simplistic arguments

You may find it helpful to read the thread that I pointed you to, and the many similar threads about relationships. They are not quite what you need, since it is the nature of this forum that they generally concern Thai-Farang relationships. But at least they are a start, and they cover some of the issues of family responsibilities, dowrys, etc. (I imagine that there are bulletin boards where Thai discuss their relationships, but you'd first need to learn to read...).