[disappointment2]

In another post I mentioned that I had a penpal who was about 14 years old. I have a few questions.

She lost her parents in the Tsunami and has not mentioned them at all. Is it correct for me to not mention them until she does? Or is she waiting for me to ask about them? Am I being disrepsectful by not asking? In the United States I would probally just say "if you want to talk about your parents I am here to listen."

How much baht would a set of headphones and portable CD player cost? I'd like to send her some CD's in English. Music is a good way to begin learning a language.

She has mentioned in her letters that she doesn't do well in school and she doesn't think she is pretty. She thinks her sister is pretty. She is worried she is not pretty enought to be a flight attendant (her dream) which is my job an why I am her penpal. Is this normal for a young Thai girl to say? In the United States if a girl said this to me I would be very worried about self esteem issues. She sent me her photo. What should I say? I know that things I would say to a girl in the United States might be wrong or insulting to a young girl in Thailand.

Any ideas? And anything that I should NEVER NEVER say? Basically our correspondance is soooooo simple. Just about school, pets, learning English and becomming a flight attendant.

Thanks

[StethyEntinic]

Hi Citykittie,
It is normal for a fourteen years old to express her feeling that way because she is telling you in a letter not in person. It is good for her to let her stress out that way. All you can do is listening , no comment.... what so ever. It is not easy to be a flight attendant in Thailand. My best friend works with Thai International Airline. It's a dream job for Thai girls: they have to have "the look" , pretty , tall, and good command in English. I think she will have pretty of time to grow up and you are a good support person for her at the moment. Sometimes, an adult can be a good role model fof kid just be yourself and a good listener.

[cokLoolioli]

Please don't take offense to the following.

She does likely have support regarding her parents locally. You may very well be a release for her, you know... someone who does not bring up the issue. To bring up such painful things through the mail, may not be a good idea considering her age.

The question about whether or not it is normal for girls to be that self discrediting, yes completely normal, especially through depression, and no it is not a self esteem issue. You could send her $30 USD and that would be plenty to buy a portable CD player, batteries and headphones. It would even leave extra for a nice lunch while shopping for one. Make her promise that she will buy one with the money though.

Insulting would be discussing relationships. Especially at such an age. In the USA it's ok for adults to tease and joke with any girl older than 13 about boyfriends and such. In Thailand even after high school women are very very discreet. It simply is not discussed, not even with other girls and especially not an older foreigner.

You seem to be very kind-hearted, welcome to the forum!

[Immampdah]

All the points mentioned are what I would have said but I just read the thread and wanted to say you sound like a very kind person. jai dee!

[Atmotteenrift]

She has mentioned in her letters that she doesn't do well in school and she doesn't think she is pretty. She thinks her sister is pretty. She is worried she is not pretty enought to be a flight attendant (her dream) which is my job an why I am her penpal. Is this normal for a young Thai girl to say? In the United States if a girl said this to me I would be very worried about self esteem issues. She sent me her photo. What should I say? I know that things I would say to a girl in the United States might be wrong or insulting to a young girl in Thailand.
Any ideas? And anything that I should NEVER NEVER say? Basically our correspondance is soooooo simple. Just about school, pets, learning English and becomming a flight attendant.
Thanks

I think its probably EVERY Thai girls' dream to be a FA in Thailand. They don't call it Flight Attendant though... its Air Hostress here... In order for Thai ladies to succeed in the interviews they need TOEFL score of at least 500 (i think). She'll also need at least a Thai University degree... Every FA interviews, there're bound to be thousands of applicants turning up so the competition is very tough....

She's only 14 now.... i guess u can advise her to study hard and learn her english... which of cos u're already doing.... additonal foreign language will help especially Mandarin or Japanese....

cheers

[DOWNLOADnowADOBEphotoSHOP]

You could send her $30 USD and that would be plenty to buy a portable CD player, batteries and headphones.

Western Union is cheaper than a bank to send money, but for such a small amount, the transfer fee will cost half as much as the gift.


About being a flight attendant, it should not matter what you look like, so long as you fit the physical height and weight restrictions and have a good presentation.
I have noticed one airline in Australia, has been only hiring young attractive woman, and they are now in trouble for discrimination.
By the way, I fly Qantas in Australia, as they hire flight attendance on merit, not looks. I would much rather have some one serve me, who goes that extra measure, than some floozy, who is only interested in organizing there social life.

[BCVB9SOc]

Welcome to the forums. I think the girl is just being modest. If you have seen her picture then just say she looks pretty. It is quite possible that people have told her that her sister is prettier. Thai people can be very blunt sometimes without meaning anything bad.

Like others have said, $30 is enough to buy a CD walkman but I think it can be messy to send money. She might misunderstand. It might be better to actually send a walkman. If you like, we can do that for you. We often do that kind of thing in our shop. People send us the money by credit card and then we make up a package of bilingual children's books and wrap them up. These are usually sent to children they sponsor. We even put a card in with a message from their sponsor.

[disappointment2]

My airline is a US Carrier. We are large and NOT in bankruptcy. We have a division in SE Asia. I have written to her that when she graduates highschool if she'd like to come stay with me we would only speak English. She'd have to learn if she wanted to eat. I have also been looking at English camps in Thailand. But haven't mentioned this to her because I haven't gotten any solid information on one.

My airline is BIG on recomendations from employees. Everyone we are hiring now seems to have a relative or friend who works here already.

When she gets older, I would be quite willing to have her stay with me and learn English. Her Thai would be a very big asset to getting a job with us. If I could help her get on with our SE Asia airline then she would probally train outside of Thailand. She would probally have to live outside of Thailand for atleast a year. Until she got the hang of things. Then she would do what many many airline people do. Live where they want and instead of driving to work they catch a flight to work.

If she decided to work for our US carrier she would have to live in the mainland US again until she got the hang of things. We have a few people who live in Europe, Asia etc.... fly into the US to work - then fly back home and stay on a layover. Our International speaker flight attendants start out at the eqiv of 960 baht an hour. But then we only work about 20 - 30 hours a week.

Of course all this would be up to her and I am not even going to try to explain it to her right now. At this point I just want to do anything I can to help her stay in school, learn English and for her to know I will help her in anyway I can.

Plus I am having a wonderful time learning about Thailand and can't wait to visit. I hope we can arrange to meet sometime in the next year.