[seodiary]

I got this e-mail from a friend in my dojo, it's a pretty funny list.

You know you are obsessing about kendo when:


You dye your entire wardrobe indigo blue.

You play baseball using a gedan or hasso kamae.

You know 4,923 Korean/Japanese phrases. 4,920 are useless outside the dojo.

You dream about waza and wake up sore from twitching in your sleep.

You kiai everytime you open an umbrella.

Your wife/gf complains that you spend too many late nights oiling your Shinai.

Your sensei pulls you aside after practice and says "Whoa! Take it easy - there's more to life than kumdo."
You stretch your legs when waiting in line.

You play out imaginary kendo bouts using pens and pencils when at work or school.

You like sweaty keikogi/bogu smell

you meet someone for the first time and you Kote! them when they want to shake your hand

Your left heel is always off the floor...always.

you do your kendo footwork when walking along the hallway

when playing tennis, you kiai when you hit the ball

you try to cut your meat in the least amounts of cuts, preferably two
when you wake up and look in the mirror not to get your hair right, but to look at your posture

you almost slipped while unconsciously doing forms in the shower. Many times.

You are "encouraged" to leave a restaurant for sparring with your friend using steak knives.

You tie your shoes with complicated knots

you are "encouraged" to leave a restaurant for folding your napkin on your head.

The bottom of your shower is dyed blue.

Practicing Nitoh Ryu with the cat using second finger from each hand.

Your weekly grocery list includes the entry: Light bulbs

Your living room's textured cieling is missing chunks of texture

People at work/school wonder what a "perfect pleat" is and why you obssess over it

you bow every time you go in/out of a room, despite wherever you are.
you get commented on having ugly feet

you shout "bansai!" before you start a test and try to frighten your teacher by doing suburis with your pen in class

(this one's for the girls)
you get a visit from the department of social services for clarification that you are NOT being put through abuse at home due to the countless bruises apparent on your elbows, arms, and thighs.

Your dream home includes smooth wooden floor and a tall ceiling

You want to have 5 kids so you can make a team

You teach your cats to do proper kiai

you kiai before a job interview and do sonkyu afterwards

You hold a steering wheel with your wrists twisted in

Watching a movie with a fight in it, you're thinking, "If I was in that situation and I had a Shinai........"

When you can't sleep you try and concentrate on previous bouts

You may have run out of clean socks, but your uniform is ready

You no longer dream about women, instead you dream about new bogu

You fight with your wife about wanting to practice rather than observe religious holidays

you wear your full kendo gear everytime you go for treat or tricking. after you say treat or trick, you kiai at them.

- you do 1000 suburis eventhough people are staring at you.

- you kiai whenever you take a shower, especially when the water is very cold or hot.

you developed withdrawal symptoms whenever you don't wear bogu for more than 2 days at a time

You name your blisters (i call the big one "Puff daddy" [and the little one "bubbles"])

you often hear the questions "what the hell happened to you?," "what's in that bag?" and "can't you just skip kendo practice once?".

you unconsciously extend your right hand and bow your head slightly as you walk pass a person (another shopper who was staring at rows of cereal).

When a woman says, "I like strong men" you reply, "Yeh...but I prefer kote."

You consider wearing heavy armour, and having a madman beat you with a stick and screaming in your ear till it falls off...fun.

you do your best fumikomi when you see a cockroach and perfect zanshin afterwards
You move around your workplace using footwork drills instead of just walking like a normal person. Moving around your house is dedication, moving around work or a highly public place like an airport is obsession.

You practice different/new Kiai while driving your car.
You ask your granny to sew you a shinai bag, tenugui

When you are bored, you refold your hakama after trying it on just for fun

The fact that the carpet needs vacuumed doesn't bother you, until you start to pack up your gear for practice, at which point you vacuum so your hakama won't pick up the bits of lint and fuzz when you lay it down to fold it.

A couple of weeks ago I knocked a cup off the kitchen counter with my elbow, then turned and caught it before it hit the floor. Minutes later, I realized that I stamped my right foot at the instant I snatched the cup out of the air.

[Ecurrexchangess]

Can I just plead guilty?

Or would insanity make more sense?

[optormtix]

One more...

Your colleagues curiously wonder what you were doing last night after seeing all the red marks on your neck.

[SQiTmhuY]

Or

Your workmates ask you for an demonstration so they know what it is you do with the fake swords you always bring to work before training.

That happened to me on Monday but the ceilings are really low so I showed 'em iaido instead

[codespokerbonus]

Or you can go to this topic and see a lot more things like this ;-)

[ORDERCHEAPVIAGRASOFTWARE]

Or you can go to this topic and see a lot more things like this ;-)

i think that's where most of them came from...

[Pinkman]

I find it helpful to make sure my Boss sees pictures of me performing Tameshigiri.

I have no problems getting time off.

[ResistNewWorldOrder]

rofflecakes, all that stuff originated here!