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Old 10-04-2006, 08:26 AM   #1
HaseBeceDeemy

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Default Jesus is coming, look busy!
Ahahahahahahahahahahha

What a gem.

Jesus revealed four specific things to me
#1: The precise location of Heaven
#2. The cure for cancer
#3. The solution for the achievement of world peace.
#4. He revealed the future to me.
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:38 AM   #2
Klissineopar

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This is great!

How does world peace prevent natural disasters?
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:41 AM   #3
Louthcoombutt

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because if people arent angry at eachother, it reflects onto rocks and weather.
thirty quid for a notebook of illegible handwriting.
hmmn...i think ive found a new career
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:00 AM   #4
BWJfEkOB

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thirty quid for a notebook of illegible handwriting.
If you get yourself a seer stone and put it in a hat then shove your face into the hat you will probably be able to understand.
Hey, it worked for Joseph Smith and the plates which led to the Mormons.
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:11 AM   #5
scoundtrack

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And the really funny thing is that it turns out heaven is actually just east of New Jersey.


They have a theme park.
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:38 AM   #6
ElcinBoris

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"Look busy", well that's not hard...
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:07 AM   #7
9enackivegliva

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If you get yourself a seer stone and put it in a hat then shove your face into the hat you will probably be able to understand.
Hey, it worked for Joseph Smith and the plates which led to the Mormons.
any specific type of hat?
if i use a bowler i could start a skapunk cult
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:20 AM   #8
Abaanto

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I have already come my children.
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:25 AM   #9
8Uxtkz7F

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I have already come my children.
But even more importantly...what dan are you?
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:33 AM   #10
Sx1qBli0

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But even more importantly...what dan are you?
And actually even more importantly: Does the Lord do freedom kendo or not
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:35 AM   #11
BoBoMasterDesign

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I have already come my children.
Nice touch on the flag there, JC.
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:39 AM   #12
ferelrossi

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...interesting... sad, but interesting...

One of the comments includes a link to a really funny site: http://www.b3ta.com/

I particularly like the Stevie Wonder reference !!!!
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:45 AM   #13
staisacic

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...and this is a nice link to send around the office..>!!!

http://www2.b3ta.com/top-10-cutest-kittens/
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:54 PM   #14
Dwemadayday

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Oh, man...it's so unfair.

The site you requested is blocked under the following categories: Nudity, Tasteless/Gross
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:59 PM   #15
Goooooblin

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Maybe you aren't old enough to appreciate the finer things in life, Perry? Your porn filter is doing you a favour...
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:16 PM   #16
Amorsesombabs

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Jebus sent me an email on this subject. (Note to self to block his address and send his domain to Spamcop)

From: JebusHChrist@alphaomega.org
RE: It's BLASTIN' TIME! Don't make me come down there!

Dude,
You know NOTHING of my work, I'll arrive on my OWN time, when i feel like it!...maybe around 6-ish..
..and yes, I've got my finger set to "smite", and all you fornicators are gonna be eating toast in Satan's breakfast nook when I catch up to you!
(And stop touching yourself while you type! I mean, Duh! I can like, SEE everything, remember?)
Dad's pretty fed up with the lot of you, but I said, "Whoa Big G, Chill out Homeslice! It's like, you created them that way, and now you want me to go down there and be your freakin' errand boy? No way!" Then he got like all high and mighty and stuff, (sigh, like he usually does..he's got issues) and then as you know, there's no talking to him when he's like that,...so..It was all like: "Blah blah, "I created the Universe in 7 days" "blah..blah..I'm the supreme being" blah..blah..You don't have a job, or pay rent, or never take out the trash, Jebus, so just do what I say because I say so..blah..blah..blah..Sheesh! I swear, he's such a control freak!
So I says to the dude, "If you're so you-damn smart, how come men have like, nipples and such...yeah..hah! Got you there, Big G!."
He then got all silent, and basically told me to get my holy butt down here, (after I wash the car) and scrap the whole people project thing....or no allowance or interdimential traveling privileges...Man! that really sucks, because i just made a date with this hot Earthly Chick, and man, you aint seen sin since you seen her bod! Whooo!
Anyhoo, sorry bros, but I gotta like, get all Medieval on you guys, but hey, when the dude upstairs in one of his moods, whatayagonnado?
So pack for hot weather, and bring your 6000000 spf block.
Hugs and kisses,
Your Bro,
Jebus.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:19 PM   #17
ZwHRoTTn

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If you take the time to check it out you will find that there is no "THALL SHALT NOT FORNICATE" commandment.
I think the English tried to slip it into the administrative code.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:51 PM   #18
syptopsygieds

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Maybe you aren't old enough to appreciate the finer things in life, Perry? Your porn filter is doing you a favour...
It was kittens, for God's sake...kittens!
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Old 10-04-2006, 02:39 PM   #19
CatLuvkaLover

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If you take the time to check it out you will find that there is no "THALL SHALT NOT FORNICATE" commandment.
I think the English tried to slip it into the administrative code.
Hmmm..Indeed.
In fact it appears that the bible is actually some sort of profoundly sukebe handbook:

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/sex/short.html
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Old 10-04-2006, 04:03 PM   #20
womberte

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arg stoopid reputation rule.
excellent link crabbi.
i am now having to steal it and see how many peoples workplaces i can infiltrate-mwahaha
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