[anatmob]

Yes, the title of this thread is a referance to Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb, but it has nothing to do with the content. As a fan of Japanese, Chinese and Korean cinema I've been damned by my inability to speak the languages and must rely on Subtitles to understand my favorite movies. I have to admit, I rather enjoy subtitles, at least I don't find them as offensive as some people do. I see no problem with reading the words being said, as long as the translation is o.k. This brings me to the point of this thread: Hilarity.

Translating these movies is an un-enviable job indeed. One slip up could cause you to completely miss the point of the scene, possibly spoiling a huge plot twist. In the case of this list however, the mistranslation hasn't spoiled the movie, but made it even better.

This is a list of the greatest mis-translated lines in Asian movie history. Unfortunately I don't have the list of movies that it's from, as I forgot to copy and paste them from the webpage that I have now lost. But seriously, it doesn't matter. Although if it does watch out, or I'll spank you without pants!


1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared sh**less too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

[gyjsdtuwr]

Roundtrip translations - English movie translated to another language and then back again - have a lot to offer as well.

Do not want.

[diutuartina]

Roundtrip translations - English movie translated to another language and then back again - have a lot to offer as well.

Do not want.

Backstroke Of The West!

[machpamb]

"I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"

Sounds like 'dubious teacher.' Don't forget Monty Python and the Heavenly Sake Cup

[enencephoth]

This is a list of the greatest mis-translated lines in Asian movie history. Unfortunately I don't have the list of movies that it's from, as I forgot to copy and paste them from the webpage that I have now lost.

Dave... this site may be the one... http://www.bigwhiteguy.com/subtitles.php

I find that the sub-titles can often be far more entertaining than the film!!!

I have some classics which I will try and find...!

Thanks for this hilarious thread...!!!

...and always remember our motto: "A poor band player I was, but now I am crocodile king."

[teewHettive]

The infamous phrase "All your base are belong to us" comes to mind here :-)

[rikdpola]

I remember watching a Japanese version of Monty Python's Holy Grail with English subtitles ....

Only part I can really remember is when they they're attacked by the rabbit and scream, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

... the subtitle read, "ESCAPE! ESCAPE!"






















... well, guess you had to be there. It was funny at the time.

[feseEscaple]

What happen??? Somebody set up us the bomb.

[Ecurrexchangess]

The infamous phrase "All your base are belong to us" comes to mind here :-)

ALL YOUR IPPON ARE BELONG TO US!!!!

Actually, its not so much funny but more a tragedy...watch the British Film Institute(Bfi) version of Seven Samurai and then the Criterion version and the Bfi version suddenly becomes a poor show.

Take the scene in the headman's hut where they are discussing the Samurais arrival and one of the villagers starts to voice his concerns about the girls "falling for Samurai".

The Criterion version has the subtitles of the headman's reply:

"What's the use of worrying about your beard when your head's about to be taken?"

The Bfi version:

"Don't worry about the girls, I'll take care of the samurai."

************************************************** ********

Actually, what would be funny is subtitles for Japanese porn that is literal...eg:

In Japanese:

Man - Ikku...Ikku...IKKUUUUUUU!!!!!!

In Engrish:

Man - I'm going! I'm going! Goooooooiiiiiing!!!!