[Bejemoelemymn]

may I start the bidding with the following...

http://usinternationalworldgrandmast....yolasite.com/

[mazabotman]

Wow, so many professors! I love this quote: SUPREMEGRANDMASTER DR.ARTHUR PARROTT WAS RECOGNIZED AS KING OF MARTIAL ARTS AND PRESENTED WITH A CROWN FIT FOR THE KING ON APRIL 17 2010 AT MID WEST HALL OF HONOR IN CHICAGO IL.

All hail King Parrott....

Sorry, that should be All hail Professor King Parrott! or is it King Professor Parrott?

[panholio]

oh...they are all very lagitimate Grandmasters.

[nemoforone]

12th Dan red belt?

[GtmFeqJJ]

This one kills me. "Sa-gi" means fraud in Japanese...

"PROF ALAN K.KATES VICE PRESIDENT OF US INTERNATIONAL OF GRANDMASTERS&MASTERS SOKESHIP UNION AN FOUNDER OF THE SA-GI-DO SYSTEM"

[Unwiseevove]

Yes 12th Dan, you cynical lot. You have to remember that in Eastern countries you are said to be one year old when you are born so the first Dan grade you have is a 'given' which makes 11th Dan the actual 'graded level' you can attain. Also people in Japan live longer so one of their years is equivalent to about 18months in the Western time scale, thus 11th Dan in the East would be impossible to attain in the West because of the angle of inclination of the Earth upon its axis and they type of food we eat (bata kusai). Its really very simple and explained fully in once you send these Grandiest Dandiest Master a joining fee of several hundred pieces of gold (currency is 'vulgar' to them) and accept them as your 'new god'. But most of you won't understand for a long time yet so just keep practising and doing what your Grandiest Dandiest Master says (via correspondence course) and pay to join their governing body and attend every seminar they run. Never question them, its rude and disloyal and shows you haven't 'understood'.

Kokoro777 13th Dan (13th because I'm fat-another thing you have to factor in to the equation-look at the photos of them if you don't believe me)

[chelviweeme]

[A catchy forum name]
[join date: aug 2010]
[posts: 0]

I am writing on the behalf of [grandiose organization name] and its founder, [title, probably fake][name, nondescript][moar titles, Asian, used wrong], who was so disrespectfully mentioned in this thread. I have the responsibility to check all over the internet for improper mentions of His/Her name, and because you are very disrespectful and I don't have a sense of humour or a properly developed grasp on reality, I'm going to write a very long post explaining why [title][name][moar titles] is teh awesome and deserves Ultimate Respect.
[no paragraphs or reasonable punctuation]
This person has done a great service to the martial arts world and His/Her community, with over [inflated number] years of [long chain of adjectives] practice! After travelling through [a whole continent], He/She attained illumination and decided to abandon the empty and not-realistic-enough world of normal, serious martial arts with all their kata nonsense. He/She knows what realistic is because of [random number] years serving in the [random armed forces/law enforcement/ boy/girl scouts], so He/She can kick some serious ass and is a tr00 patriot!
[Comment on how practitioners of Kendo/Iaido should know what respect is and act more like Asians]
There's nothing wrong in making up your own martial art and posing in silly "kamae" for pictures, [long list of random examples including, but not limited to, Jigoro Kano, Morihei Ueshiba, Bruce Lee, Jesus Christ] did the same and nobody is complaining, because that would be disrespect and teh Asians are all about respect and stuff. [Title][name][moar titles] studied [boringly large enumeration of martial arts] for [10-50] years and because He/She is such a talented genius He/She just brushed off all the crap they usually have and grouped the good kick-ass stuff together to create [fake Asian-sounding name/dumb acronym]. By the way, [title][name][moar titles] teaches a lot of respect in [fake Asian-sounding name/dumb acronym].
[More blabber on how disrespectful this forum is]
[Threat of legal action]
[A small treatise on respect, referred to as an old Asian saying/adage/story, most likely involving an old man and a young man or animals]
[A very polite closing]
[A catchy forum name]
[Administrative position in [grandiose organization name], possibly made up]

----------------
[forum signature with the words true, apprentice, wisdom and warrior]

[rootoronpunty]

You forgot the proper way to spell "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

That crown is soooooooooooo my English is insufficient to describe it.

[jurnalkduo]

I like in particular the part:"....sokeship union.."

A new world organization, THE SOKESHIP!

[IamRobot]

Take a look at: PROF.ED MCLACHLAN FOUNDER OF ENJ-JUTSU SYSTEM 10DAN RED BELT

I love the way he got his obi to look like a red and gold stiff wrapping ribbon

[RemiVedia]

Well, you must admit the superworldgrandeuberinsertsuperlativehere guys are a well educated bunch.

I'd better start working on my professorship.

[Foriaelalse]

hahaha "supreme grandmaster" hahaha

[QzVyZbTg]

I love the red belt guy! His belt looks like it has huge cardboard wings on it!

[Sdzqerty]

I want to comment but the sheer awesomeness of that website has left me speechless.

Why don't we have this kind of great stuff in Kendo? I say we name someone King of Kendo! Oh wait... Gibbo has apparently usurped the crown already. Nevermind.

[qp0yfHOf]

Can't see the site! b

[Romarionsion]

He has not belt in spelling that's for sure.. not even a lagitimate one..whatever that is.

[Vomekayafboke]

Pah, that organisation is for losers!

Check: http://www.soke.org/members.htm

Particularly Lawrence Valadez, Soke of Valadez Kenpo-Ryu, who looks to be about 15 yrs old.

[pokerbonuscod]

Pah, that organisation is for losers!

Check: http://www.soke.org/members.htm

Particularly Lawrence Valadez, Soke of Valadez Kenpo-Ryu, who looks to be about 15 yrs old.

"He holds a 6th Dan in his own system and rejects the idea that system founders should automatically hold 10th Dan Black Belts."

So modest.

[attackDoold]

Pah, that organisation is for losers!

Check: http://www.soke.org/members.htm

Particularly Lawrence Valadez, Soke of Valadez Kenpo-Ryu, who looks to be about 15 yrs old.

"He holds a 6th Dan in his own system and rejects the idea that system founders should automatically hold 10th Dan Black Belts."

So modest.

Google translates "Korea Do Christian Martial Arts Association" as 韓國基督教是否武術協會 - which means "Is Korean Christianity [a] martial art association [?]"

LOL

[herbalviagra]

I keep thinking it would be a great gag gift thing to do for the TKD instructor at MSU is to get him inducted into one of these bogus martial arts hall of fames.... I mean you just pay the fee and get the certificate right? The catch is I cant figure out how I can avoid him killing me after I present it to him.