[Hujkmlopes]

My eyes have very recently been opened and so much of my being is still possessed with worldy needs. I however do look at materialistic items from a practical point of view and try to be humble and practise resistance to over-abundance or feeding the soul with temporary satisfactions of obtaining worldy items.

My question is, and this is something I struggle with, how do I found a balance between love, compassion and humility, but still not bare myself open to the world which will try and invade my believes? Is there a balance between being humble and not tolerating the someone walking, or trying, to walk over you? Do I find balance in protecting my loved ones from dangers, not always related to being threathened directly, but possibly threathened by people trying to "do them in", for a lack of a better phrase.

I find I get terrible road rage when other drivers deliberately put not just their lives, but mine, in danger. I get annoyed at politics and when my family is threathened I feel I need to step in, but I also understand that the heart will only find peace when it follows peace, no one will find peace but taking the passages leading to unrest.

What is your viewpoints?

[MichaelfromSpace]

Needs are needs. One needs things to survive.

One will never find peace with others or the world unless they've found peace in themselves.


With Metta, Dave

[peakyesno]

hi nVee

in Buddhism, needs (i.e., food. clothing, shelter, medicine) are called "requisites". they are "requirements" rather than "worldly" things

about politics, despite our ideals, my opinion is politics generally follow the common will & apathy of the people. it is something often out of our control. most buddhist practitioners probably regard politics as something very worldly & relinquish strong political views because they realise place the destiny of their well-being in their individual hands rather than relying on politics

about safety & protection, on the most basic level, the Buddhist teachings recommend to reside in a suitable locality (see link & link]

i think the more inner peace we find, the more we can live with a degree of psychological distance from the world (despite living in it)

of course, if we have a family & particularly children, it becomes more challenging, given children are more suseptible to both worldly influences & dangers. plus we are generally obligated, as parents, to provide for the needs of children, which can be very worldly.

if one is a single person, one can reduce their reliance on things such as motor cars (which have an inherent danger) or not drive motor cars at all

kind regards

[Figelac]

Hi NVee,

Humility can be understood as an attitude and the individuals who I associate with displaying humility are able to live fully and function well in society - I guess it can be a very subjective thing really ; to discuss this topic requires us to define humility and being walked over.

[KojlinMakolvin]

Hi nVee,

Humility is a very loaded term, IMO. It can be threatening in cultures where individualism and achievement are core values.

Thinking in Buddhist terms, I tend to equate humility with simplicity.

A simple way of life can be obtained as a result of a mind not entangled with things.

When this is obtained because a mind that is at peace with life, then live becomes a joyful experience in its simplicity.

[catermos]

Good morning everyone,

Thank you so much for your input thus far. I would like to believe I am quite young at a revived spirit level, and thus I am still very bounded but wordly things. Following a spiritual awakening quite recently, I have seen some amazing things and have witnessed at my own account what a simple apology can bring. I realised that, even if internally when I feel I am not at wrong, if I try to be humble and apologise rather to save a relationship as appose to putting my ego first, I am in the position to overcome not just the anger I have, but also save a possible relationship.

I however realise now that I was asking for advice but not giving the correct mindset, or where the origin of my troubles are coming from. Regarding humility, I have always been a strong willed character and I want to believe that career wise I have been strong due to worldy reasons. Now, I find myself in a position that I understand that if I want internal peace, I need to walk on the road which will lead to peace. So, I feel that going into an altercation, sometimes without a choice in the matter, I need to practise humility (or by my definition be apologetic to avoid conflict).

This, however, is something which I am struggling with as it's in direct conflict with the personality I believe I have. I understand that my desires really is to lead a life where I have peace with everyone and everyone has peace with me, so it's a conflict which builds up inside of me and does not resort to peace, it resorts to me still being somewhat angry and also feel I am forcing myself into a weaker position, if this makes sense.

Regarding protectiveness, we recently had an incident in our family where one of my close relatives was "tricked" (for a lack of a better word) by another family member. As this person is very close to me, and understanding that she out of best interest would not make anything out of this, rather put herself in a very unsuitable financial situation, I felt obligated to step in. I did not, and thus far have been able to not intervene, but as I feel protective over the family member, I am not at peace with the situation. I understand that this matter is regarding finances, but my relative really relies on the finances for her well-being and it breaks me to see her in such a position.

I think at a base level, I feel that I still daily get sucked in with worldy worries, and at core I do not want this to consume the strength or viewpoints I have got to thus far, I am torn between 2 worlds and I understand at core what I need to strive towards, but I need to find a balance where I can get inner peace. I hope this gives you a bit better insight as to my situation

Thank you again for each persons input, I greatly appreciate it.

[FloareTraurne]

There is one thing I regret in life, and it is the fact that my whole life I've been conditioned and trained to be a servant. I've been disciplined to only think of others, and to help as many people as I can. I've given blood 6 times, been a personal life helper for several friends in need, and I do chores in houses that I'm invited to. I'm known by some friends as "the nice guy who gets walked all over"

Think of yourself for once. I severely, SEVERELY regret not saying "It's time for me to take care of myself for once" long ago. You should not have to deal with that regret.

[Thifiadardivy]

I am forcing myself into a weaker position, if this makes sense.

hi nVee

sure. your post makes sense

in my experience, when we first engage in spirituality, we can be a bit 'hypersensitive', due to aspiring to be humble. but, as experience & understanding grow, we realise there are times we must adhere very strongly to our values, particularly in worldly environments, such as the workplace, career, etc. thus it comes to the art of negotiation & presentation and, at times, strong respect for our views & strong acknowledgement of the views of others, when they differ. for example, in my job, i must make decisions that affect people strongly & i take a strong personal/ethical stand when required

Regarding protectiveness, we recently had an incident in our family where one of my close relatives was "tricked" (for a lack of a better word) by another family member. As this person is very close to me, and understanding that she out of best interest would not make anything out of this, rather put herself in a very unsuitable financial situation, I felt obligated to step in. I did not, and thus far have been able to not intervene, but as I feel protective over the family member, I am not at peace with the situation. I understand that this matter is regarding finances, but my relative really relies on the finances for her well-being and it breaks me to see her in such a position. again, these are moral issues. when in comes to moral issues, in buddhism, we try to do our best to do the right thing. however, if we wish to help another but they do not see eye to eye with us, then, in buddhism, we try to develop equinimity, i.e., impart responsibility upon the other

I think at a base level, I feel that I still daily get sucked in with worldy worries, and at core I do not want this to consume the strength or viewpoints I have got to thus far, I am torn between 2 worlds and I understand at core what I need to strive towards, but I need to find a balance where I can get inner peace. I hope this gives you a bit better insight as to my situation thanks, nVee. as i said, when we begin to seek peace, often we are suspending our judgments. but, in time, we will realise we must fall back on a moral/ethical values rather than totally suspend judgment.

kind regards

element

[N9NACzws]

Think of yourself for once. I severely, SEVERELY regret not saying "It's time for me to take care of myself for once" long ago. You should not have to deal with that regret.

for sure. Buddha, himself, did not recommend servitude & sacrifice (apart from when wisely done in mutual relationships, such as husband & wife). Buddha taught to do good for others without harming our own welfare. On the moral/worldly level, Buddha taught:

One truly is the protector of oneself; who else could the protector be?
Let one not neglect one's own welfare for the sake of another, however great.
Clearly understanding one's own welfare, let one be intent upon the good.

Attavagga: The Self ***

[mas-dkt-sive]

This situation, where one is trying to good things even when confronting the danger in the world, may be helped by wisdom meditation which can manifest as courage. It leads to confidence when making a desicion without the concern that sometimes arises about "what is the right action?"
Speaking for my own experience of course, I found the mantra OM AH RA PA CE NA DHI, with visualizations to be very helpful. There is also the physical sensation in the area of the solar plexus which become intense during trying times, when I am right in speech and action.
I cannot always access this guidance; if I think I'll lose my cool, I'm just walking away.
newbie

[K0aM7urg]

Speaking for my own experience of course, I found the mantra OM AH RA PA CE NA DHI, with visualizations to be very helpful.

Thank you for sharing vanuato, but that's a Manjushri mantra and so it isn't relevant to our "Discovering the Buddha's Teachings" forum, which is for asking questions relating to the core teachings of the historical Buddha. (We have a Mahayana/Vajrayana forum too )

Thanks

[MediconStop]

We need others to practice. If we are not challenged, there is no merit.