[Gscvbhhv]

Hello,

Here's the situation:

Someone ask me to do something. If I do it, that will make this person happy in usual sense, if I don't do it, that will make this person sad. Both of the decisions would lead this person to the suffering in buddhist sense. What I feel is that I should chouse something else to do, but this person doesn't ask me to do it, so this decision will probably lead to sadness and suffering too.

The question is what buddha thinks of this situation. Many thanks.

[_tppga_]

Hi Bobochka,

Welcome to BWB !

Could you give more detail about the type of situation you are refering to, please ? Otherwise it's difficult to know how to reply.


with kind wishes

Aloka

[asharbiq]

hi Bobochka

Buddha thinks it is important to do action which does not harm oneself, another or both oneself & another

For example, if another person has a wish which is the product of unwholesome craving and we do not fulfil their wish, the other person suffers due to their unwholesome craving (rather than due to our inaction)

Kind regards

[Tibaveriafark]

Thanks. Seems that I've got the point.

[AALee]

Hello,

Here's the situation:

Someone ask me to do something. If I do it, that will make this person happy in usual sense, if I don't do it, that will make this person sad. Both of the decisions would lead this person to the suffering in buddhist sense. What I feel is that I should chouse something else to do, but this person doesn't ask me to do it, so this decision will probably lead to sadness and suffering too.

The question is what buddha thinks of this situation. Many thanks.

I dont have a good answer, but a quote from book "Beyond religion" by Dalai Lama is appropriate (i think):

"In my own case, when called upon to make a difficult decision, I always start by checking my motivation. Do I truly have others’ well-being at heart? Am I under the sway of any disturbing emotions, such as anger, impatience, or hostility? Having determined that my motivation is sound, I then look carefully at the situation in context. What are the underlying causes and conditions that have given rise to it? What choices do I have? What are their likely outcomes? And which course of action, on balance, is most likely to yield the greatest long-term benefit for others? Making decisions in this way, I find, means they are not the cause of any regret later on."

[NewYorkDoctorD]

Welcome to the forum PaksRott

Your quote summed it up nicely... I always start by checking my motivation