[statistica]

So, I'm not so sure how to start this, but...here we go.

I am 21 years old with a lot of experience under my belt. I have been through a pretty daunting life and have experienced much more than most people my age. This experience led me from Christianity from the age of 11 to Atheism. I have now found Buddhism as not a religion, but more of a lifestyle. For 3 years now I have read, studied, and practiced being a Buddhist as best as I can. Learning the eightfold path and other things such as this. My life is nowhere near as bad as third-world country lifestyles, but here is my problem...

I believe I am so Americanized that I can no longer rid myself of these feelings I have. I want to just let go, but it is so hard and most of my thoughts go against it. I want to become a musician as art and writing means the world to me. How can I become a Buddhist and not worry about it if I lose it? If I lose it, I lose my world. I do not care about being famous, but I want to be happy and not suffer from a stressful life. I need to do things on my own now, and not live for others. I feel as if it is such a selfish thing to do.

With this stress in my life, I think I am either losing hair from it and having other medical problems. I was wondering if the mind can cure me of this. I was wondering if the quote, "What you think, you become." will actually solve my problems. Suffering is such an Americanized trait that I regret feeling, but I cannot help it. I need to understand how to not suffer, but also stay human. Someone explain this to me.


I am sorry for either poor grammar, spelling errors, or other things of the sort. I am extremely tired as of right now and haven't proofread this at all. I assure you I will construct posts in the future of greater value and worth.

Thank you.

[famosetroie]

Hello Stormsy,

Buddha's teachings are to be developed gradually in three main aspects: understanding the teaching, practicing it and evaluating its results.

To be mindful about attachments and understanding the importance of "letting go" is a gradual achievement that happens as practice continues.

Also, meditation can be very helpful.

At the Study Links section you can found some resources about meditation.

[affewheillMapew]

Hi Stormsy,

I can relate on a number of levels. I'm also 21 years old and reside in the United States. In spite of living in the "first world", I too feel bombarded by stress at every angle and overwhelmed by suffering of a specific variety. Between working as a research assistant, completing a capstone project for presentation at a science conference later this month, helping to lead two student organizations, applying for PhD programs, searching for grants and fellowships to fund my pursuits, and other obligations, I often find myself drained and depleted.

The quote "What you think, you become", as you may know, comes from the first couplet in the Dhammapada.

Dhammapada Chapter I: Yamakavagga

1. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with an impure mind a person speaks or acts suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.

2. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts happiness follows him like his never-departing shadow.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit...p.01.budd.html Whenever I read these verses, I view them in light of cognitive appraisal. The way we perceive a given situation, the manner in which we mentally digest our experiences, will determine their effect on us. In my daily life, I find that stress and suffering tend to arise out of my desire to control the chaos that surrounds me, to confine everything into boxes, to implement a strict regimen for accomplishing what needs to be done by its deadline. In these instances, my mind is in an impure state, frantically grasping after things that are beyond me. I inevitably enter a state of panic. In the instances in which I am feeling at ease, it is when these worries have dropped away. My mind has no preoccupation but remains focused, my grip has adjusted without necessarily loosening, and the many committments I have seem manageable. I'm not sure if this addresses your question fully, but it is what I have to offer.

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Best,
Abhaya

[mdUzAMbG]

Hey, Stormsy. Sorry to hear you're having a tough time.

I'm actually also an American, early twenties, raised christian (became atheist), and amateur musician.

I think the above two posts have a lot of good advice. It's also important to remember buddhism is a very long-term kind of thing. For years I thought I made absolutely no progress. Only very recently have I been able to look back and see the changes I've made.

In addition, everybody is only human and nobody expects anything more. Getting rid of attachment is incredibly difficult, but ultimately worth it. If there are things in your life you are attached to, that is perfectly normal for somebody of our age and experience range. I think what really messes us up where attachment is involved is when we grasp and panic about things.

And, as one musician to another...remember that you don't do it for fame. You do it for the love of doing it. And nothing can happen in life that will fully take away your ability to play or write music in some form.

Lastly, I always felt that focusing on yourself is what comes first. You work on yourself and, once you are ready, move onto becoming compassionate and helpful for others. You can't help others until you help yourself. It isn't selfish, it's realistic.

I'm by no means an expert, but hopefully some of that helped you. A lot of it helped me at some point or another.

[djmassk]

Welcome Stormsy,

Its good to hear from you.

Thoughts and feelings come and go and are impermanent... and sometimes there might be a calm little space between them. I wonder if some gentle physical exercise might help you to relax a little and worry less ?

Walking outdoors can be helpful - and this could even include some walking meditation in a quiet spot somewhere.

Personally I found a Tai Chi class to be an excellent way of relaxing physical and mental tension and anxiety.

Swimming can be beneficial too.

Just a suggestion though.


with kind wishes to you,

Aloka

[DF9sLGSU]

Thanks to all of you. As far as physical activities, maybe it's too much. I go to the gym and go to martial art classes 3 times a week as a black belt (please take this as not a boast). Don't worry, it's not for stress-relieving purposes, but to make me a healthier person. I try to take care of myself on the outside to possibly even out the inside, which is pathetic. I am not vain, but I want to keep my youth for a bit because I never held onto mine. I needed to grow up quickly. I try to be such a nice person and help so many people, but when it comes to me, it's extremely difficult.

I never mean to come off rude or impolite, but I will try to nudge myself into this community. I thank you eternally.

[Dogxzysl]

Hello again Stormsy,

I'm wondering if you might find it helpful to watch and practice with Ajahn Jayasaro's 'Buddhist Meditation' videos on You Tube. They're excellent - and each of them is quite short. This one is the introduction:

[Sliliashdes]

Hi and welcome to BWB ... a welcoming place, I find.

May I ask about the art you have as your avatar picture? ... it is intriguing to me, is it your work?

[JTS_tv]

As much as I love to draw and create, unfortunately it is not my art. To answer about what it is, it's actually based off of the Nickelodeon cartoon show, "Avatar: The Last Airbender" which is surprisingly a fantastic show. The two koi fish balance each other in perfect harmony. When one is lost, chaos emerges.

[replicajoy]

I need to understand how to not suffer, but also stay human. Someone explain this to me.

Hi again Stormsy,

Most of us experience some mental stress which takes the form of anxiety and dissatisfaction (dukkha)at some time in our lives, so you are not alone with that.

I think its important not to crowd your mind with too much extra information at the moment - because from what you've said, it seems like you might benefit from some gentle relaxation.

The videos I mentioned earlier have a 5 minute Metta instruction for no 7. I think you might find it beneficial to spend a few minutes doing this every day and include yourself as well as others. It can help to lighten and open out the mind gradually.





with kind wishes

Aloka

[Creva4k]

Thanks for all of the help, but I need more of it if it's too much to ask. I don't understand how to become a musician when being a Buddhist isn't about that at all. How do I not care about it with caring about it so much?

[layedgebiamma]

You can have buddhist pro-westlers, teachers, politicians, TV hosts, whatever.

Actually, I'm recording a hip hop album that primarily discusses anarchy as a positive ideal (albeit not one that would be a good idea to impliment tomorrow). I throw in a ridiculous amounts of buddhist philosophy in the lyrics, because buddhism is about everything (nothing?).

You don't have to "not care" about things to be a buddhist, either. Buddha clearly cared about teaching enlightenment, or he wouldn't have done it. The difference is not becoming so obsessed with something that you let it ruin your life, or cause you pain.

I think, in your situation, I would take some time to meditate on how your conflict is causing stress in your life.

And remember to take it all in stride. Nobody is expected become enlightened within a certain amount of time. The important thing is to take steps that are comfortable for you. And, when you are ready, to take more.

Hope this helped you, Stormsy. Sorry you're having trouble.

[SueveDobe]

Hi Stormsy,

Being a Buddhist is about looking at things as they are. Is about to practice what Buddha taught and he mainly taught the development of a peaceful mind that do not clings and craves, that do not experience mental suffering.

You perfectly well can become a musician while you practice Buddhism because Buddhism is about things that happens to us in day to day live.

There is no need to give up being a musician so to practice Buddha's teachings.

The main teaching -the Four Noble Truths- do not ask us to give up the way we make a living.

Most members in this Forum have a way to make a living while practicing Buddha's teaching.

First we have to practice the very basic teachings like the Four Noble Truths and to learn meditation.

If, after this, one decides to go after more, becoming a monk or a nun, and living in a monastery, it is OK.

But until this happens, until we master the basic teachings, we can perfectly well keep the way we make a living.

Keep doing what you must love and keep practicing and studying the basics of Buddhism.

If after practicing the basic teachings you feel or think that is more important to devote your life to the practice of what Buddha taught then you will have the chance to do that.

My opinion is to develop yourself as a musician while you explore the basic teachings and practices of Buddha, first.

[Fluivelip]

I understand now, thanks a lot. I feel at home here. Perhaps this is the forum where I should stay.

[HitAttetlyTek]

It's a pretty cool place.

Glad you got a good answer.