[Karpattaisp]

Hi,I have started meditating,twice a day,morning and night.I'm just practising the breath meditation,and yes I do become distracted,but I am becoming better at it!I've noticed something "strange"happening to myself.On one hand,I feel calmer and more focussed,but on the other hand,I have become abit teary.I used to be abit of a hard nut,and I have to admit,I don't like feeling vulnerable.Maybe by meditating I am kind of cleansing myself mentally and its clearing out all the negative bits???Any idea whats happening?

[immewaycypef]

Hello Jacaranda,

Maybe a similar experience is happening to me since I started Mindfulness of Breathing or Anapanasati. Since I do not have a teacher yet and I am just guided by the Sutta instructions. This are the experiences:

I have found in Anapanasati a kind of more compassionate way of meditation.

The mind -thoughts- relaxes faster and the body seems to be a lot more relaxed during meditation.

The awareness of sensations has been bigger and sensations are much more vivid and present.

I have found myself more emotional than before -and, because of this, I got a little bit anxious- but, now, I am OK with this.

I don't know the exact reasons of this but I can adventure the hypothesis that this is because of a less tightened mind. Even when I don't know the why of it, the experience is now welcomed.

[JohnVK]

...by meditating I am kind of cleansing myself mentally and its clearing out all the negative bits???

yes. to trust this will pass is essential

best wishes

[huerta]

Thankyou Esho and Element,its reassuring to know nothing untoward is happening!I had a couple of "good"days,feeling quite calm,and then today,again abit emotional,and I don't know why,but I am going to trust the process!Do you think it will take long for my emotions to balance out?

[courlerwele]

Do you think it will take long for my emotions to balance out? Yes Jacaranda, but I think we should neither fight nor fear those emotional moments. Welcome them, watch them and let them go -smiling- as soon as they tend to fade away... keep doing mindfulness of breathing and I'm sure that balance will be found.

[EnubreBense]

Thankyou Esho, I will try that! Just a bit scary for me because I've always been abit of a "hard"person,and frightened to let down the barriers but I know in the long run it will make me a better person!xx

[sabbixsweraco]

Like you Jacaranda I'm a bit of a tough nut - the other day after sitting I felt profoundly sad and quite teary, I decided to accept that sadness as something that had arisen - I neither clung to it or tried to push it away, just tried to be with it. I think Elements right these are things that have to come out sometimes.

[Indidockobeni]

I find it helps to analyse why I feel the way I do and where it came from. One of my favourite things about Buddhism is its encouragement to analyse EVERYTHING and usually when I meditate and analyse why a particular thought or emotion arises within me I figure it out and feel a lot better and a lot calmer because of it. I can then work towards a more positive experience.

[Annewsded]

Thankyou Esho, I will try that! Just a bit scary for me because I've always been abit of a "hard"person,and frightened to let down the barriers but I know in the long run it will make me a better person!xx

I can share that feeling and your post has me reflect why meditation was so difficult until I started to practice Anapanasati.

Maybe it is time to let go that hard "person..." or fabricated identity.

Also, isn't wonderful to soften yourself, to be touched emotionally by a flower, a bird song or a beautiful morning?

[PRengine]

Thankyou for the replies.I think what I need to do is look at my softer side as a positive thing instead of being scary!

[Feloascarlelt]

To Jacaranda,

Meditation,is something that is done for oneself.Maybe ,it is the first time you do something for yourself alone.
.When one meditates,there are no masks,just oneself and your emotions
that creap up on you.Since I have begun Buddhism ,I changed 98% of whom I was before no more masks,just the non-self that loong has becomed.
.If you continue on the Buddhist Path ,the same will happen to you,and I wish it will.


A simple buddhist named
loong

[plaiskegizils]

Thank you for the original question, and thank you all for your replies. I became very emotional recently while meditating, and was worried about what might have been going on. Your comments about doing something for yourself, letting down barriers, and letting go of an identity resonate with me, and comforted me.

[CealialactBek]

Welcome to BWB, monkey ! I'm glad that the posts on this thread have been helpful to you.