[hechicxxrr]

First off I'd like to say I have read the "Buddhism for Beginners" and thought it was great. It talked a lot about how to deal with suffering and talked a bit about conflict in general. I still have some questions though and thought maybe you guys and girls could help me out a little?

1. The article said if somebody is getting in your face with anger or any form of confrontation that you should "wish him/her well being" and not respond with anger back. My question is how should I respond to this person verbally? I want to retain some sort of dignity in the process of wishing this person well being. How should I approach this situation not only physically but verbally as well?

2. I have never been one for calling the police in any situation. I have a strange moral belief that things just are and I shouldn't interfere with the situation. For example if a fight breaks out between two or more people in front of me how should I respond. Also more precisely if a group of people were "gang beating" another person - in my old ways I would wholeheartedly jump into the fight just to help the guy who is by himself. I don't like seeing anybody being gang beat while being on the ground. So my question is how should I react to this situation if I have the skills of a boxer to my advantage? Should I defend?

Buddhism is about peace and mindfulness but also wishing people well being in general. I feel wrong not helping somebody in need like that. I would appreciate any advice and all opinions are welcome.

[Kimaamighed]

Hi Kazpa,

In a very general way, I think that we can act setting limits to people that is offensive with a mind free from hate. Not taken it personal.

In a very calm way we can say to somebody, who is out of control yelling us -and once he or she has been cooled- not to do that, firmly.

The important aspect is to act -not react- with a mind free from hate and without the feeling of a Self that has been hurt.

The same for the case to defend someone. If you can't call the police and there is no other option but to defend somebody physically and having the skills to do that, the action has to be done, again, with a mind free from hate against the aggressor.

But if your life is at risk, the best thing is to ask for help...

This are difficult situations for giving a proper advice Kazpa, but again, keep in mind that we can act properly if the actions taken are free from hate.

[Lypepuddyu]

Hi Kazpa,

Were you refering to the text of 'What is Buddhism ' ?

If I were in the situations you mentioned,..... for no1, I'd do my best to be mindful and try to respond calmly and with restraint, placing my attention with my breathing now and again. One doesn't need to get caught up in someone else's anger.

Regular Metta practice is very helpful for the generation of good-will towards others. More about this practice can be found in #2 of this thread in our Study Links section:

http://www.buddhismwithoutboundaries...356-Meditation


In situation no 2, I'd call the police. In this country people carry knives and can stab each other in fights. Sometimes teenage gangs might have guns too.


.

[wrewsTear]

Thanks for your responses. I feel more comfortable with these scenarios arising in the future although of course I wish these scenarios on nobody. Again thank you and if anybody has other input please feel free to provide it.

[overavantstandard]

I want to retain some sort of dignity in the process of wishing this person well being. How should I approach this situation not only physically but verbally as well?

we can simply verbally respond that we are not interested. "I am not interested in this mode of interaction with you"

I have never been one for calling the police in any situation. I have a strange moral belief that things just are and I shouldn't interfere with the situation. For example if a fight breaks out between two or more people in front of me how should I respond. If we are detached, in a Buddhist manner, then calling the police, for example, can be right conduct

Buddhism is about peace and mindfulness but also wishing people well being in general. I feel wrong not helping somebody in need like that. Yes, it can be difficult. But, often, part of Buddhism is imparting responsibility onto others. From a strict Buddhist perspective, if we were do endanger our life due to the folly of another, this is best avoided.

Where do such fights break out? Often, where people are drunk, etc.,

Kind regards


8. "These are the six dangers inherent in heedlessness caused by intoxication: loss of immediate wealth, increased quarreling, susceptibility to illness, disrepute, indecent exposure, and weakened insight.

9. "These are the six dangers inherent in roaming the streets at inappropriate times: oneself, one's family, and one's property are all left unguarded and unprotected; one is suspected of crimes; then rumors spread; and one is subjected to many miseries.

12. "These are the six dangers inherent in bad companionship: any rogue, drunkard, addict, cheat, swindler, or thug becomes a friend and colleague.

Sigalovada Sutta

[Fiesialenp]

The first place to start in spiritual practise is Metta.

Metta means love, an unconditional love, not a love dependent on the condition of our personality or on the body, speech and mind of others. This love also expresses itself as limitless friendship and boundless loving kindness. The power of such love makes it a divine abiding; literally a divine way of Life.

The Buddha taught that if you want to be like a god, then live a life suffused with Metta. The Buddha urged us to live in the power of metta, of love, to bridge the chasm between oneself the others. This indeed is a Brahma Vihara meaning the Abode of the gods.

1. Unconditional love, 2. an immeasurable compassion, 3. all pervading appreciative joy and 4. unwavering equanimity reveal an extraordinarily expansive heart amidst the most challenging of circumstances in daily life. Equanimity means a deep inner peace when confronted with immensely challenging circumstances and this quality is equally important as we will inevitably meet with hurdles big and small.

Unconditional love is a powerful force that sweeps away negativity, pity, envy and indifference. It can only emerge out of deep realisations, insights in the nature of things and the authentic liberation of the heart for it goes beyond self, me or mine. It goes beyond my Religion, clan, creed, nationality or race. This love reveals itself equally in personal relationships as well as in great acts of selfless kindness towards others.

The Buddha pointed to us the powerful qualities of love, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity challenging us to have the extraordinary capacity to go far beyond all limits and boundaries that the 'self' tries to set.

Practising Buddhists need to recognise the immense significance of these Brahma Viharas as the confirmation of the transformed heart.

If a person’s heart enters into Metta, the person will never be the same again. He or she won’t go back into the mundane realms of greed and hate, desire and aversion.


Karaniya Metta Sutta

This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech,
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied,
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove,
Wishing: In gladness and in safety,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be,
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short, or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to be born,
May all beings be at ease.
Let none deceive another
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings,
Radiating kindness over the entire world:
Spreading upwards to the skies
And downwards to the depths,
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down,
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.
By not holding to fixed vews,
The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense-desires,
Is not born again into this world.

[trubreTab]

Hi Kazpa.
Sometime back I called the police round 3AM over loud dooph-dooph and conversation under my bedroom window; it was a re-occurence
I also talked to the people and the interaction was reasonable ( till next time?)................

As for reacting under extreme provocation, particularly acts against others, in my case, I feel my action may be largely spontaneous.
Again, in my case, I endavour to develop a reasonable attitude to help stand me in good stead for future potential traumas.

[movlabz]

In addition to the above I would also like to inform you that the Buddha advised his followers to keep good company and also to avoid staying out late. There are also five precepts, which Buddhists take as they feel ready to keep them - to refrain from killing, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct and intoxication. These precepts lead us to keeping a more ethical lifestyle and helps keep ourselves and others out of harm's way.

[Knqzjbmf]

Hi Kazpa,

If you have a chance google ,The Art of Peace.For a former warrior like you and me
this should prove very interesting.

a simple buddhist named
loong

[tweriaroats]

To Kapza
Here is the url for the Art of Peace:http://omlc.ogi.edu/aikido/talk/osensei/artofpeace/

enjoy

a simple buddhist named
loong