[Michaelnewerb]

First off, I'm relatively new to Buddhism. I don't know anything about it except for a few basics on the life of the Buddha, and historical related things, and a few various things I've read about the teachings.

In my life I have had certain amounts of suffering as we all have, as I'm fairly sure that's a given if you're alive. I used to think that mine was somehow worse and that my conditions in life could not be explained to others so that they'd understand. Then one day it sort of clicked that trying to explain it to others had nothing to do with solving my problems, nor was suffering something that can be quantified and measured against another's. After that realization, I started looking more seriously into ways to help myself, or somewhere to start. I've never been very religious, though I was raised Christian.

I started to turn more toward spirituality. And usually when I decide to try something, I try it all head first. So I dove right into all sorts of mysticism, tried pagan paths, tried Christianity again, thought about Judaism, but it had the same drawbacks as anything else. I started reading things about Buddhism, and I realized that I feel a lot more comfortable with the general idea. At least on how to live, and the idea didn't seem overly zealous or religious, but more of a philosophy (bad word, but the only I can come up with) that seems to be universal. So I started meditating. And here's where my questions actually come in.

Every time I start to meditate, I start having severe panic attacks, and can't get any further. I've tried all sorts of different meditations, guided, unguided, with and without different music. I've tried all different positions. Regardless of how I do it, if I start to getting really deep, I immediately get this sense of foreboding, like something terrible is coming, and it ends in a severe panic attack where I have to lay flat and do breathing exercises until it passes. I can't seem to actually mediate, or it ends up that way.

Obviously, I don't think anyone can give me some key or something that will magically unlock my ability and fix me for good, but if anyone has experienced this, or even just has friendly advice that might help me out, I'd greatly appreciate it. It's really hindering me, and it's not just in Buddhism, almost everything ends up at meditation somehow, and I feel more and more like a ship tossed about without sails when I deal with this.

Specifically about Buddhism, it all seems rather overwhelming sometimes. I'm looking at these Sanskrit terms, and trying to make heads or tails of what I'm even reading. I've got some books, and I'm reading the threads on this forum, and it's helping, but does anyone have any advice that make learning for a beginner feel less abstract and overwhelming?

[Tam04xa]

Welcome Aadvark !

Would you mind editing your post and creating paragraphs, please ?

See no 8 in the Code of Conduct - and also my message in 'Announcements'.

Thank you.

with kind wishes,

Aloka

[Sheestgag]

Sorry about that. I think my paragraph structure is correct now. Also after reading the code of conduct, I simplified my post and took out stuff that was largely irrelevent.

[Vzkdgdqx]

You might like to listen and read 'What is Buddhism" at the start of the topics in this beginners forum - and also "On the Four Noble truths"

Maybe you shouldn't try meditating just yet if you get panic attacks. However there's probably no harm in you reading the resources and looking at the video in the meditation thread in our Study Links section near the bottom of the main forums page.


http://www.buddhismwithoutboundaries...356-Meditation


.

[cestsennY]

Sorry about that. I think my paragraph structure is correct now.

Hi

I meant making spacing after a few sentences -see Announcements at the top of the forums page, please !


Ah, its done now, thanks a lot, I can read what you've written much better now.

Try the resources I mentioned #4. Seems like you might be reading things that are rather complicated for a beginner.

[cucceevevaind]

Maybe you shouldn't try meditating just yet if you get panic attacks. However there's probably no harm in you reading the resources and looking at the video in the meditation thread in our Study Links section near the bottom of the main forums page.

Is it common for beginners to have issues like that, that you know of? And thank you for the advice, I'm reading 'What is Buddhism' right now. Thanks for the responses.

[leacturavar]

Yes, some people do get panic attacks. It might be a good idea to see if you can just focus on some relaxation and loosening up methods to being with, before attempting to do meditation.

[arindiruppya]

Thank you, I will do this. And keep learning too. Thanks so much for the responses.

[GroosteFoessy]

Hello Aardvark,

Be welcome to BWB.

Aloka has given you a very good advice. Reading the resources at the Beginners Forum will give a good starting point about Buddhism.

About meditation, just try to breath and be focused into that for a few minutes attending to the sensation of breathing whenever it enters of exits the body, whenever it is short or long, fast or slow, deep or shallow...

That is also a good first step.

[Zaebal]

Thank you for being so kind and quick to respond. I've got a lot of tabs open from links I found where you and Aloka have helped other people in the beginner's section. I should have done this a long time ago instead of trying to start with the most complex stuff, haha. I'm going to sort of pull my meditation back to first doing as you said, and using breathing to relax first. I think my whole problem with all of it might have been trying to start in the middle, so to speak, haha.

[Junrlaeh]

I'm going to sort of pull my meditation back to first doing as you said, and using breathing to relax first.

Sounds great Aardvark,

I do the same. With just breathing and I feel a lot more better. Maybe you will feel some improvements in your mood just after standing up from meditation. You can breath at any moment along the day. It's quite simple and it is the about the core of Buddha's meditation with he achieved awakening.

[fluistulkn]

Every time I start to meditate, I start having severe panic attacks, and can't get any further. I've tried all sorts of different meditations, guided, unguided, with and without different music. I've tried all different positions. Regardless of how I do it, if I start to getting really deep, I immediately get this sense of foreboding, like something terrible is coming, and it ends in a severe panic attack where I have to lay flat and do breathing exercises until it passes. I can't seem to actually mediate, or it ends up that way.

Hi Aadvark,

I agree with Aloka-D when she/he said that if you get panic attack, you probably should not start with meditation.

I would like to further suggest that you can start by doing charitable works, be kind to others, ...etc, in addition to read Buddhist Texts.

Maybe the good karma that you get from helping others can come back and help you with your meditation.

[Tumarimmicdak]

Hi Aadvark,
I would like to further suggest that you can start by doing charitable works, be kind to others, ...etc, in addition to read Buddhist Texts.

Maybe the good karma that you get from helping others can come back and help you with your meditation.

Will do. More charity is always a good thing. I've been reading all day too, I can't seem to get enough, since I've gotten started.

[Illisezek]

Dear Aardvark

I saw two main questions in this thread, i.e. (a) where should you start in Buddhism, and (b) a problem on meditation.

1. Where to start in Buddhism

All new people have this same problem. First thing which I recommend is that you need to spend time and be patient. Do not believe anything until you study, understand and practice it and see the result by yourself. On the contrary, do not ignore it, until you study, understand and practice it and see the result by yourself.

Many people may start Buddhism by meditation, and may understand that mediation is Buddhism, or Buddhism is mediation. In fact, although meditation is an important part of Buddhism, it is not all of or the highest or most important part of Buddhism.

At the early stage, I would suggest you to study whatever you think that it is useful and practical to you, and you like it. (One person said that you do not need to eat or know all fishes in the ocean to make you feel full.) If you spend time on something which you do not like, cannot practice it, and do not see it useful, it would not encourage you to continue doing it. If you are not interested in anything in particular, I may suggest you to study and practice, 10 fields of meritorious actions as follows:

1. merit which is made by giving (Danamaya)

2. merit which is made by holding precepts, e.g. five or eight precepts (Silamaya)

3. merit which is made by developing phavana (Bhavanamaya)

4. merit which is made by humbling ourselves before the others (Apacayanamaya)

5. merit which is made by being helpful or energetic in doing things which is right to do (Veyyavaccamaya)

6. merit which is made by dedicating or sharing merit (Pattidanamaya)

7. merit which is made by rejoicing other people’s doing merits (Pattanumodhanamaya)

8. merit which is made by listening to Dhamma (Dhammasavanamaya) (In my view, reading Dhamma book should be part of this field.)

9. merit which is made by revealing Dhamma or giving talks on Dhamma (Dhammadesanamaya)

10. merit which is made by making our view straight and true in compliance with Dhamma (Ditthujukamma)

Alternatively, the Buddha taught us to study in three fields as follows:

1. develop the right speech, right action and right livelihood, in morality by holding precepts (Sīla);

2. develop the right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration, in concentration (Samādhi); and

3. develop the right view and right thought for wisdom (Panyā).

When you study Dhamma and practice yourself, you may also consider that what you doing at such time is in which group. Generally, we could do it all together, no need to start step by step. But if you do not do step 1, it is not possible to be successful in step 2.

For clarification, if we do not hold precepts, we would not be successful in mindfulness development. If we do not develop our mindfulness, we would not be successful in developing our wisdom. However, we can practice to hold precepts, develop our mindfulness, and develop our wisdom at the same time. Noting that a person will be able to get out of wheel of rebirth because of wisdom, not a mindfulness.

2. Problem on meditation

Please ask this question to yourself.

Do we view that Dhamma is special, and we need to do something special, so that at the end we will get something special?

In fact, Dhamma is not special, it is normal and natural. If we think and try to do something special, it is not Dhamma practice. For example, I guess that you may sit and focus on your breath-in and breath-out during meditation. You do it for a certain period of time, and then you will have a panic attack. If you go to have a coffee at Starbuck shop and you just sit there, drink coffee, and you also breath-in and breath-out, would you have panic attack by doing that? The answer would be ‘no’.

What is the difference between these two activities? Both activities have sitting and breathing-in and breathing-out. Does the coffee make them different? No.

The thing which make them difference is ‘your mind’. You sit and breathing-in and breathing-out since a baby and you do this for so many times in your life but you do not have panic attack. Once you ‘think’ that you are going to do meditation, you ‘think’ that this is special now. This activity is special and it is not normal and not natural. This is why you have problem on meditation. You try to adjust your body and mind and make them not normal and not natural.

I do not suggest you to quit meditation but would suggest you to try these. (If they are not good, or incur bad results, you can ignore them.)

1. First, ignore and delete the word ‘practice’ or ‘mediation’ from your head. You just think that you want to sit and relax. Do not push yourself that you need to be clam or in peace. Do not expect that you will need to achieve anything. You just want to sit there and breathing-in and breathing-out. Only sit there and breathing-in and breathing-out, you are happy with them and do not need anything else.

Again, do not think or expect that you are practicing or doing meditation. You just sit there normally and naturally as you always do it during the whole past of your life.

2. Second, you see that there are mind, and body. During sitting there (Note: I do not say doing meditation; I say sitting there), if you feel anything, you are aware of it. If you feel annoying, afraid of panic attack, happy, unhappy, greed to achieve anything, angry, clam, peace, or confused. You just are aware of it. Then you will see that those feelings, and your mind and body are separated.

It does not matter whether or not you will be clam and in peace. If your mind is in peace, be aware of it. If it is not in peace and is confused, be aware of it.

By doing these, you will see that your mind is not your body and those feelings. Those feelings are not your mind and your body. You will learn the way to separate aggregates. (You may do the search for meaning of ‘five aggregates’.) For example, you will be at least separate three aggregates (mind, body and feeling).

3. Third, by doing above, you will see what happens to your mind and body as the truth. You do not push yourself that you must be clam or in peace. As you do not push yourself, it will be normal and natural, then you should not have panic attack.

One last thing, styles or forms of sitting and breathing-in and breathing-out are not the keys for meditation. The important part of meditation is the quality of mind (i.e. mindfulness). Do not lock yourself with style, form, time or place. Even though you stand at a bus stop and wait for a bus for only few minutes, you can focus at your breathing-in and breathing-out and it is meditation already. You walk from your working desk to toilette and you focus at your breathing-in and breathing-out. It is also meditation. As I earlier mention, Dhamma is normal and natural. So, our practice is to be normal and natural, not special. So, we can practice it in our normal life and natural life. There are exceptions, e.g. time of driving car, walking across the road, or working. We need to focus on those activities, not practicing Dhamma. But during the break of working (even for a minute), we could still do it.

With warm regards

[Lidawka]

Try the resources I mentioned #4. Seems like you might be reading things that are rather complicated for a beginner.

In addition to that, this is a useful place to begin some investigations:

http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/index.htm

[WepKeyday]

I'm so glad I found this forum. The positive and constructive information is staggering (in a good way).

@ngodngam: Thank you so much for that. I've copied it and pasted it into a word document to print out as part of my reading. I hope you don't mind that. I've been going for walks in the woods at sunrise and sunset and reading things for beginners, and even a few zen koans I've found that cause me to think in ways that feel good. I would like to add what you wrote to that.

@Aloka: Thank again for your continued help. I'm going to be reading the things at that site as well. I have so much good information now. I wish I had visited this forum and asked my questions about five years ago, haha. Oh well. Never too late.

[Glipseagrilia]

I'm so glad I found this forum. The positive and constructive information is staggering (in a good way).

Lovely to hear such positive comments about the website, Aardvark !

[loolitoertego]

Hi Aardvark - Thanks for reading.
(There are minor wrong typos in my comments. However, they do not affect the main contents.)

[freeringtonesioo]

Hi Aardvark,

Isn't it overwhelming at the beginning? All I know is that I don't know much... What has helped me is a silly quote I heard somewhere... "Buddhism is kindness". As I learn I keep this at the forefront of my mind. I try to be kind both to others and to myself.

Good luck on your journey
Fee

[Auzuigcx]

Hi Aardvark,

Isn't it overwhelming at the beginning? All I know is that I don't know much... What has helped me is a silly quote I heard somewhere... "Buddhism is kindness". As I learn I keep this at the forefront of my mind. I try to be kind both to others and to myself.

Good luck on your journey
Fee

Indeed it is a bit overwhelming at first, haha. Kindness and charity are the two things that I'm working on the most right now. Seems I always fancied myself a kind and generous person until I really started thinking about it and starting noticing all the places I could add more in.

Good luck on your journey as well, friend.
Aaron