[venediene]

A good Buddhist is not the one who fights around against other people. Although you do not believe in something unlike your parents, it is not necessary to make them to agree with you or accept your thought. There is no need to fight or argue with your parents. And there is no need to be unhappy for who you are now. You just need to accept who you are and find a way to stay where you are in a practical and useful way.

If your mom asks you to pray for your dad, it is a good thing. If you do it, you do a good thing for your mom and dad. (Should a Buddhist do a good thing for his parents?) I know that you do not like to do it for a reason. But you already promise to your mom, so you should do it and there is no harm for you to do it.

Do you think that doing meditation in Buddhism has to sit quite, close eyes and breath-in. breath-out only? Can we do meditation by standing, and also opening eyes? If we pray to God for good of dad, can it make us feel peaceful and clam? If you want to feel metta or mercy, do you have to be a Buddhist only? I say this, not because I want you to change your belief in Buddhism. But because I want you to stay happily and usefully in your current surroundings.

There are many conventional merit activities which are among religious.
For example, 'giving' – Christian and Islam also teach giving and scarifying
‘precepts’ - Christian and Islam also teach not to kill, not to lie, not to have wrong affairs, not to steal etc.
‘meditation’ – Christian and Islam also have meditation. They pray to god and they feel peaceful, clam and happy. Buddhism meditation is also for peaceful, claim and happy. Does any Buddhist meditate to be non-peaceful, muddled, and unhappy?
So, even though you stay with those people in other religious, you can still do these three merit activities (in your way).

You may now have an important question. If all religious have conventional merit activities, does it matter to be or not to be a Buddhist? My answer is ‘yes’ - it does matter. Because Buddhism has other Dhamma which are not conventional and are unique only for Buddhism. It is the ‘Four Noble Truth’ which has very deep meaning and is not understandable by only thinking. We can understand the Four Noble Truth only by practicing ‘Vipassana’ in a right way.

[LottiFurmann]

Hi Ngodngam

Its worth looking at the dates of posts in the topic threads. Battered Rose hasn't posted in this topic for three and a half weeks so it might be best to wait to see if she has any more feedback.

with kind wishes,

Aloka

[Vigeommighica]

I think the practice is more about your relationship with discomfort and difficulty than finding wholeness and comfort. I used to hear the expression that bodhisattvas work "in the midst of the fire."

You know, there aren't as many buddhists in india as you would expect. I'm not sure of the date, but at a certain point between the 5th and 15th centuries (lmao that's quite a span of time, sorry) Muslims invaded northern india and slaughtered many buddhists as idolaters. The only reason why the buddhadharma really survived was it's transmission to sri lanka (that tiny little island country south of india) in the form of the theravada (thera means "elder", vada meaning "school"... school of the elders)

I'm taking the five precepts soon with my own group here where I live. I've only been practicing meditation for a couple of years, but I have to tell you that it's become so precious to me. I've met so many kind and beautiful teachers. It's like learning how to love someone. lol. I don't know how I mean.

Your story makes me think of the little robe that laypeople get when they do the jukai ceremony in zen buddhism. That's what I practice, is zen. Jukai is sort of like a right of passage where you officially take refuge. The little robes are little because in ancient china, there was a time when buddhists were persecuted. The zen priests started wearing these little "rukusu" or tiny robes under their clothes so that they could still "clothe themselves in the dharma"

You'll just have to learn how to wear your rukusu under your t-shirt until you can find a way to dialogue with your parents about this. I take it that your young, but I was in middle school when I first got interested in buddhism. My best friend's family was zen, and it's been a love affair ever since. Not to say that it's always sunshine and roses. Buddha's revolutionary teaching was not to struggle against the pain in our life. That's how we create peace.

About your parents, it can be difficult. I grew up in a very conservative roman catholic family. When I told one of my aunts that I wanted to be a buddhist (I think I was in seventh grade at the time) she told me "That's satanic!" I remember feeling so angry at her!

As for your parent's quest for eternal salvation through the grace of faith in jesus... who knows? the consolation of faith (any faith) is not the reward at the end of the journey that you get for having had faith. It's the quality of life that that faith (I think it's more like "trust" than faith. Not trust in something, just trust. Think about that!) gives you. Faith can empower people toward a lot of wonderful things, and give them the ability to endure alot of pain.

So don't think too badly of them (I'm sure you don't). The buddha said "a single word giving peace to the listener is worth more than a thousand empty words" I'm paraphrasing that, of course, but that's the gist of what he said.

[P1international]

Its now one month and 5 days since Battered Rose last posted in this topic. (see also my previous post #22 posted on 15th December).

Probably best to close it now. I can always re-open it by request if she returns and PM's me.

Thanks to all for participating.