[Eunatis]

My name is David. I don't know if it is bad for me not to put my last name. Please tell me if it is. I am just paranoid about putting my last name out online.

I have been atheistic for a month or so, and I am starting to feel drawn back towards Buddhism. I was raised a Christian and and have lost my faith in God more than once. I do not believe in a God. I learned a little bit about Buddhism and was fascinated by it. However, I misunderstood a lot of things about the Buddhist religion.

I misunderstood the teachings about reincarnation thinking that I had to believe that my soul would go into a rebirth as another human or animal after I died. I couldn't accept that I had an immortal soul. Thinking that Buddhists believed in an immortal soul I got really angry and no longer wanted to becocme a Buddhist. I got really angry. I think I threw my book that I own about Buddhism onto the floor and said (please forgive me if this hurts or offends anyone) something like, f Buddha! Or F Buddhism"

I feel really guilty about this. I want to learn more about Buddhism and hopefully become a Buddhist but I no longer feel worthy. I used the f word while talking about the Buddha or Buddhism. That is what I remember at least. I feel like because of this I am not worthy of ever possibly being a Buddhist. Am I too immoral to be a Buddhist?

I hope that what I wrote makes sense. I really hope that someone can give me some advice. Isn't there a special way to become Buddhist? Isn't there some kind of special thing you have to say at a ceremony or something?

I also hope that someone can tell me if I have ruined my chances of being Buddhist because of when I cursed and said what I said.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and I am really sorry if some of what I wrote was offensive or repetitive

I hope to hear from someone. Thanks again.

[Asianunta]

Welcome David,

It isn't necessary for you to use your last name or even your real name if you don't want to -its entirely up to you.

As far as learning about Buddhism and officially becoming a 'Buddhist' is concerned, we start wherever we are at the time and hopefully progress from there, so don't worry too much, do your best.

Its not necessary to commit straight away, take your time and learn more first.

This MP3 with accompanying transcript "What is Buddhism" might be helpful for clarification.


http://www.dhammasukha.org/Study/Tal...T-MAR03-TS.htm


with kind wishes,

Aloka-D


I'm going to move this thread to the Buddhism for Beginners forum which is a more appropriate place for it.


.

[Xbcofega]

Hi,

One of the Foundations of the tibetan buddhist path, which I am part of, is that we all posess Buddha Nature no matter what we might have done in our past.

The occasional, or in my case not so occasional mis step is a completely nonmal part of the Path and can be used as a way to see where you are and what you need to work on.

All the Best

[BUMbaronos]

Thank you for your responses. I appreciate the advice. I guess I have the "sin" judeochristian idea ingrained in me from being raised in a devout Christian family. I don't believe in sin and i'm not a Christian anymore but I still feel like I have "sinned" against the Buddha by cussing him or the Buddhist religion and getting mad and throwing my book. I think that is what happened. I just feel guilty I guess.

I feel like this guilt I have is in the way of me being happy as a person. I don't know what to do about it. I guess i'm worried that i'll always feel unworthy of ever being Buddhist. I don't know if I should feel this way or not. I don't know if cursing at Buddha or Buddhism is something that is unforgivable. Am I just looking at Buddhism the wrong way?

I'm sorry if i'm being annoying.

[tooratrack]

Welcome David,

Buddhism has become a huge body of different traditions, schools, faiths with rituals, temples, offerings quite similar -in its surface- to many other religions.

Some believe in reincarnation. Others in rebirth. And others do not hold any of both as something important for the practice of the teachings of Buddha.

Buddha was a teacher. He left a teaching to be followed and to be experienced. The experience is about a peaceful mind, a happy life and joyful existence.

There is no sin. There is no God. There is nobody looking at us.

What is there is the mind that hates, that craves and that hold to wrong views which result is the experience of stress and suffering in different levels.

It is important to go to the very basic knowledge about what the Buddha taught.

Here you can find a good introduction to what the Buddha left us as his teaching.

And no, I do not think you are immoral to approach Buddhism.

[Heliosprime]

Thank you. I will make sure to look at the link you gave me tomorrow. I am very tired. I am sorry. I am about to go to bed. It is early now where I live but i'm just super tired .

Thank you. Your comment made me feel better. I just didn't know if someone who has hated the Buddha or Buddhism like how I used curse words about it could become a Buddhist regardless of having that in their past. I just feel guilty.

If think I should feel guilty please let me know. I don't know enough about Buddhism to say absolutely how I should respond. Since Buddhism isn't about sin and punishment I probably should just forgive myself and forget about it? I don't know. If you have any ideas about that or if anyone else does I would really appreciate it.

I am very thankful for all of the responses and I will look at that link that you sent me tomorrow Kaarine. Thank you very much for your time. I am sorry if i've repeated myself.

[simmons latex mattress]

Since Buddhism isn't about sin and punishment I probably should just forgive myself and forget about it?

Yes, to forgive yourself is a basic step in Buddhism. That is one half.

The other half is to be mindful and aware of the experience you had when you were angry. For sure it was not a pleasant one.

To reflect about it is what is important and to be aware of that anger.

I am very thankful for all of the responses and I will look at that link that you sent me tomorrow Kaarine. Thank you very much for your time. You are welcome David.

I am sorry if i've repeated myself. No problem David.

[Hetgvwic]

Hello David,

I understand what you are saying because i was born as a Muslim, so i know how monotheistic religions use guilt to manipulate their followers (the original sin is one example).

I am a beginner like yourself, and i think you have come to the right place. In this forum you will meet many experienced Buddhists who are nice, patient and very generous to share their time and knowledge with everyone.

Good luck,
Bundokji

[pipojambo]

Hi David,

Simple answer is no, you didn't ruin your chance of being Buddhist.

It's like you can curse Einstein and burn Books on Theory of Relativity, but doing so before is not a ground to prevent you from learning the theory and apply it later on in your life.

Only you can prevent yourself from learning Buddhism.

[mortgrhhh]

I learned a little bit about Buddhism and was fascinated by it. However, I misunderstood a lot of things about the Buddhist religion.

No wonder you did -- most of those who write the books don't even understand it themselves.

I misunderstood the teachings about reincarnation thinking that I had to believe that my soul would go into a rebirth as another human or animal after I died. I couldn't accept that I had an immortal soul. Thinking that Buddhists believed in an immortal soul I got really angry and no longer wanted to becocme a Buddhist. I got really angry. I think I threw my book that I own about Buddhism onto the floor and said (please forgive me if this hurts or offends anyone) something like, f Buddha! Or F Buddhism" I've done this many times. It's easy to get really excited after finally finding something that makes sense to you, and then eventually you stumble upon some bogus interpretation or whatever and you get so disappointed the excitement turns into anger instead. You feel like you never wanna hear the word Buddha again because now you associate it with a bunch of BS. This is common. It's like a crisis of faith. And this is why it's so important to find the right books and so on, which can take years. Ask questions.

I feel really guilty about this. I want to learn more about Buddhism and hopefully become a Buddhist but I no longer feel worthy. I used the f word while talking about the Buddha or Buddhism. That is what I remember at least. I feel like because of this I am not worthy of ever possibly being a Buddhist. Am I too immoral to be a Buddhist? I use the f word on a daily basis and I've used it in reference to Buddhism too. I've heard Buddhist teachers curse many times.

I also hope that someone can tell me if I have ruined my chances of being Buddhist because of when I cursed and said what I said. You haven't. And you can keep doing those things after you've "become" a Buddhist, too. One famous master burned most of his books on Buddhism after his enlightenment because he realized words are just words. There's no sin in any of this. Buddhahood is for everyone.

[Emapymosy]

most of those who write the books don't even understand it themselves.

Lol, how can you possibly know that ?

There are books available by some of the respected Buddhist teachers from different traditions. I've been privileged to attend offline teachings and talk to some of these people and most of them did know what they were talking about within the context of their own traditions.

I suggest that you investigate offline Buddhist groups, David especially those which have meditation classes.

There's a worldwide search facility for groups centres and monasteries available at the Buddhanet site:


http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd//index.php


.

[casinobonuswer]

It's like you can curse Einstein and burn Books on Theory of Relativity, but doing so before is not a ground to prevent you from learning the theory and apply it later on in your life.

Very well said, Yuan. Similarly, you can disagree with a number of Einstein's personal opinions as well as improve on his theory without denying relativity. Of course, whether you can still call it Einsteinism is a matter of debate.

[Enladalusange]

Just a gentle reminder to others as well as to myself, that we shouldn't let newbie question threads in the Beginners to Buddhism forum turn into chatting between other members, thanks.

New topics in the other forums on the website are always welcome (and if they're relating to matters other than Buddhism then the Tea Room is the best place)

[lisualsethelp]

Welcome David.
Anyone can be Buddhist, there are organisations that take Buddhism into jails to help inmates turn their lives around and I'm guessing most of them have done more than throwing a book and saying f***.
You can't start on a journey from anywhere other than where you are right now so welcome aboard.

[Brainpole]

Thank you guys so much for responding to my messages. Bundokji, thank you. I can understand where you are coming from. Monotheistic religions definitely do use guilt. You are right.
Yuan, thank you for the encouraging words. The way you explained with the Einstein example really helped. soundtrack, thank you for all of your advice. It really helped a lot. Karma, thank you also for your response. I appreciate the warm welcome. Aloka-D thank you also for your advice. Thanks everyone

[Dastyh]

Thank you, David. I hope you will enjoy taking part in other discussions here too.

with metta,

Aloka

[Gymnfacymoota]

You are welcome Aloka. I will get involved with other discussions here too.

[ulnanVti]

dear david ,

I have just read all the posts and thought what good answers everyone have given ,

I have one thought which might be usefull ,

as human beings we expect so much of our selves , so that when we fail to live up to our own expectations or the expectations that we think others have for us , we feel deflated , frustrated and as you implied unworthy ,

as buddhists we try to understand human failings , we all have failings , that is human !

one very nice peice of advice that I was given early on in my training , was to review ones own actions ... , o.k . I got angry ..... so tomorow I get up and start all over again , and try to avoid anger next time ..... at the end of each day review your thoughts and actions ...and for each thought , give your self some encoragement for what you feel you have handled well , saying if I can do this well to day , then I can keep this up tomorow .....and for those thoughts or actions where you feel you have failed , simply vow to try harder tomorow .this is called renunciation , but remember you will do nothing of any good by beating your self with a stick , be forgiving but just renounce that old action , if you feel you have been dissrespectfull , then simply by realising that mistake and vowing to TRY not to make that mistake again , you have done a worthy thing

so you see buddhist practice is very simple ! try and try and try again , .... and if you fail , o.k. just get up and try again , ...this is a very couragous thing to do , trying can be a little hard but keep going ,

and remember you are couragous , not immoral , or un worthy .

best wishes

namaskars ratikala

[Alexunda]

Ratikala,

Thank you for your encouragement and advice. Your advice was very helpful and I appreciate it.

Thanks,

David