Overcoming Possessiveness... I know nothing. :) - DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate

**GogaMegaPiska** · 08-20-2011, 06:34 PM

Recently I have begun a relationship with a beautiful Buddhist lady

Her heart and intent are so pure that it made me question the very foundation of my own reality.

there is a part of me that is possessive.
I do not wish to be possessive.

How do I overcome this?

**freevideoandoicsI** · 08-20-2011, 07:00 PM

Sigh... why does a chicken cluck...
Im in a logic loop

**scoussysows** · 08-20-2011, 07:38 PM

Welcome to the group, bobo !

Its important to understand that we don't own other people in any way and that possessiveness comes from clinging/attachment to others. However if we become too attached then we begin to suffer. Additionally, in extreme situations, anger and resentment can arise in a relationship if it doesn't fit in with our previous expectations.

Extending loving kindness outwards to include all sentient beings as well as your girlfriend and yourself might be helpful, as in Metta practice.

There are some resources and instructions for that here:

http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm

I hope that helps a little.

With kind wishes to you,

Aloka-D

**MormefWrarebe** · 08-20-2011, 10:41 PM

Thank you so much

I will put this into practice!

**kSmica** · 08-20-2011, 10:51 PM

I signed up as bobo but you can call me Bill

**Nzmoafzn** · 08-20-2011, 11:54 PM

Be welcome Bill!

**HelenTay** · 08-21-2011, 02:26 AM

Thank you

Still studying.

**AngelinaLip** · 08-21-2011, 09:38 AM

welcome Bobo

my recommendation is to start by cultivating gratitude & thankfulness

kind regards

Element

**FrereeDoulley** · 08-21-2011, 11:32 AM

Welcome Bill Bobo,

you found the best place in the internet to learn to overcome possessiveness! I believe that it already has started

**Ad0i89Od** · 08-21-2011, 12:26 PM

Thank you all

Stick around I think I will.

**OvDojQXN** · 08-21-2011, 01:55 PM

Welcome, Bill! If you want to overcome possessiveness, I can make one recommendation. Get a cat, if you don't have one already, and try to tell it what to do. You'll find out pretty quick that possession is a figment of your imagination.

**Zebrabitch** · 08-24-2011, 10:35 AM

Hi bobo, I'm new too. I just wanted to say that I have always had faith that what is meant to be will be. And if you try to hold on to something too tightly, in the end if it was meant to be it will be, and if it wasn't it won't.

I'm really a complete beginner, it's going to take me a long time to learn allot of the things here. But I just wanted to give a little advice about what has always served me. I hope that everything works out for you.

& here's a hug :hug: from Libertyinfinite

**Allbrunette** · 08-26-2011, 04:58 AM

Welcome Bill.

**borasolit** · 08-27-2011, 04:22 AM

Come back and see us again soon, Bill !

08-20-2011, 06:34 PM	#1
GogaMegaPiska Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 417 Senior Member	Overcoming Possessiveness... I know nothing. :) Recently I have begun a relationship with a beautiful Buddhist lady Her heart and intent are so pure that it made me question the very foundation of my own reality. there is a part of me that is possessive. I do not wish to be possessive. How do I overcome this? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-20-2011, 07:00 PM	#2
freevideoandoicsI Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 600 Senior Member	Sigh... why does a chicken cluck... Im in a logic loop Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-20-2011, 07:38 PM	#3
scoussysows Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 441 Senior Member	Welcome to the group, bobo ! Its important to understand that we don't own other people in any way and that possessiveness comes from clinging/attachment to others. However if we become too attached then we begin to suffer. Additionally, in extreme situations, anger and resentment can arise in a relationship if it doesn't fit in with our previous expectations. Extending loving kindness outwards to include all sentient beings as well as your girlfriend and yourself might be helpful, as in Metta practice. There are some resources and instructions for that here: http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm I hope that helps a little. With kind wishes to you, Aloka-D Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-20-2011, 10:41 PM	#4
MormefWrarebe Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 476 Senior Member	Thank you so much I will put this into practice! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-20-2011, 10:51 PM	#5
kSmica Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 631 Senior Member	I signed up as bobo but you can call me Bill Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-20-2011, 11:54 PM	#6
Nzmoafzn Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 464 Senior Member	Be welcome Bill! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-21-2011, 02:26 AM	#7
HelenTay Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 402 Senior Member	Thank you Still studying. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-21-2011, 09:38 AM	#8
AngelinaLip Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 473 Senior Member	welcome Bobo my recommendation is to start by cultivating gratitude & thankfulness kind regards Element Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-21-2011, 11:32 AM	#9
FrereeDoulley Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 424 Senior Member	Welcome Bill Bobo, you found the best place in the internet to learn to overcome possessiveness! I believe that it already has started Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-21-2011, 12:26 PM	#10
Ad0i89Od Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 374 Senior Member	Thank you all Stick around I think I will. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-21-2011, 01:55 PM	#11
OvDojQXN Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 457 Senior Member	Welcome, Bill! If you want to overcome possessiveness, I can make one recommendation. Get a cat, if you don't have one already, and try to tell it what to do. You'll find out pretty quick that possession is a figment of your imagination. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-24-2011, 10:35 AM	#12
Zebrabitch Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 634 Senior Member	Hi bobo, I'm new too. I just wanted to say that I have always had faith that what is meant to be will be. And if you try to hold on to something too tightly, in the end if it was meant to be it will be, and if it wasn't it won't. I'm really a complete beginner, it's going to take me a long time to learn allot of the things here. But I just wanted to give a little advice about what has always served me. I hope that everything works out for you. & here's a hug :hug: from Libertyinfinite Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-26-2011, 04:58 AM	#13
Allbrunette Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 375 Senior Member	Welcome Bill. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-27-2011, 04:22 AM	#14
borasolit Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 412 Senior Member	Come back and see us again soon, Bill ! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

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