[HenriRow]

I'm honestly not sure why I'm posting this, maybe I'm looking for advice or maybe I just need to get something off my chest and I was hoping you all had some advice. So this past month has been really bad for me and the reasons are probably not very good. I feel like I'm losing my best friend. My best friend just moved in with his girlfriend and it feels like he doesn't have any time for me anymore. I know I'm likely overreacting, but i finally realized things aren't always going to stay the same things always change.

I hope we are still going to be best friends, he talks like we are and says when they eventually get married he wants me to be the best man, it's just he's my only friend and I'm scared of being alone. I don't do well alone. I guess everything really do is change no matter how much we may not want it to. I know I'm probably sounding selfish, but I don't mean to be and I'm sorry if this post is inappropriate if so just delete it. If there is any advice from a Buddhist prescriptive for dealing with change and such I'd love to hear it. I'm not doing well.

[BoomBully]

I'm honestly not sure why I'm posting this, maybe I'm looking for advice or maybe I just need to get something off my chest and I was hoping you all had some advice. So this past month has been really bad for me and the reasons are probably not very good. I feel like I'm losing my best friend. My best friend just moved in with his girlfriend and it feels like he doesn't have any time for me anymore. I know I'm likely overreacting, but i finally realized things aren't always going to stay the same things always change.

I hope we are still going to be best friends, he talks like we are and says when they eventually get married he wants me to be the best man, it's just he's my only friend and I'm scared of being alone. I don't do well alone. I guess everything really do is change no matter how much we may not want it to. I know I'm probably sounding selfish, but I don't mean to be and I'm sorry if this post is inappropriate if so just delete it. If there is any advice from a Buddhist prescriptive for dealing with change and such I'd love to hear it. I'm not doing well.

I feel very much with you about this. It's something that all humans share and have to face. Impermanence can be observed in all existing things that surrounds us. Meditation on impermanence can be a soothing tool to overcome the pain of realization. The process takes some time.
Yet I can assure you that there is great freedom in this realization and a an unlimited source of energy available once the mind is free of bondage from attachment to the ones we love. Once one overcomes this bondage this will be visible and is very attractive to others. People will know it when they get in touch with you. Then you will shine :hug:

[WapSaibiar]

Hi, I'm not sure my post will be of any help, but like hajurba, can relate to you on this. I have been working on this for a while now, especially as impermanence is part of the theme of my next 'topic' at my monthly meditation group. We are looking at forgiveness primarily, but impermanence is part of this. The emotions and feelings that we have and we hold on to do not serve us, but ultimately lead to suffering. This is caused by our clinging to the illusions of ourselves and the world around us.

As hajurba has said so well, meditation is a soothing tool. Meditation on metta (loving kindness) can be especially beneficial at this time.

[offemyJuccete]

Life is Change my friend and if nothing else, when you're in an uncomfortable situation, in pain or suffering in some way, the knowledge that everything is changing and nothing is permanent can be of some comfort.
Be happy for your friend and smile at these thoughts of clinging as when you start to understand them they actually can be quite amusing.
Have you listened to the talk on "what is Buddhism" posted on this site? I really enjoyed the bit about being able to laugh and it really connected with me.
here's the link, http://www.dhammasukha.org/Study/Tal...T-MAR03-TS.htm

Metta

[CymnMaync]

I believe true friendship does not change

[weO1bVp1]

white_wolf, my guess is that once he gets settled into his new married life, he will have both the time and desire to renew your friendship. Just keep in occasional contact with him, just enough to keep each other on radar.

I believe true friendship does not change

I wish I could say I agree, but that's not been my experience. Even though the friendship remains, it's always growing, changing, evolving...

[UriyVlasov]

I wish I could say I agree, but that's not been my experience. Even though the friendship remains, it's always growing, changing, evolving...

My experience too.

[johnbeller]

...a Buddhist prescriptive for dealing with change I try to contemplate...when a leaf falls off the tree and when someone dear to myself goes distant/dies, why does my mind not show the same equanimity and detachment for both?
Perhaps because I have not seen the drawback of invested interests of grasping & attachment?
I haven't pursued that theme? I haven't understood the reward of equanimity & detachment? I haven't familiarized myself with it?

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit....041.than.html
"So it is, Ananda. So it is. Even I myself, before my Awakening, when I was still an unawakened Bodhisatta, thought:
'Renunciation is good. Seclusion is good.' But my heart didn't leap up at renunciation, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace. The thought occurred to me: 'What is the cause, what is the reason, why my heart doesn't leap up at renunciation, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace?'
Then the thought occurred to me: 'I haven't seen the drawback of sensual pleasures; I haven't pursued [that theme]. I haven't understood the reward of renunciation; I haven't familiarized myself with it.
That's why my heart doesn't leap up at renunciation, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace.' For your perusal & reading


The Chant of Metta

[sXVUOUVC]

Even though the friendship remains, it's always growing, changing, evolving...

As anything that is alive...

[Lictimind]

Hi, I'm not sure my post will be of any help, but like hajurba, can relate to you on this. I have been working on this for a while now, especially as impermanence is part of the theme of my next 'topic' at my monthly meditation group. We are looking at forgiveness primarily, but impermanence is part of this. The emotions and feelings that we have and we hold on to do not serve us, but ultimately lead to suffering. This is caused by our clinging to the illusions of ourselves and the world around us.

As hajurba has said so well, meditation is a soothing tool. Meditation on metta (loving kindness) can be especially beneficial at this time.

I haven't done much mediation yet simply because I'm not sure how to begin. Are there any sources that describe how to do loving kindness?

[Thorwaywhobia]

Hi white_wolf, you can find some links to metta(loving kindness) instructions in

post #2 in the thread 'Meditation' in our Study Links section towards the bottom

of the forums index.

http://www.buddhismwithoutboundaries...356-Meditation

[SAUNDERSAN]

I just tried loving-kindness for the first time. I only did it for five minutes though since I'm new to mediation,but I do feel better. A bit calmer and happier.

[BJEugene]

That's great ! Maybe try doing a little every day ?