[Michmant]

Hi,

I was listening to an interesting talk last night called ‘The Middle of the Mess’ on AudioDharma, and it was about how we can start to practice being more mindful in our daily lives, rather than just when we are sitting on the cushion meditating. She was saying how much of a challenge this is, but it is possible if we try hard and just keep practicing away - and most importantly, remember to do it! She said that is the hardest part, to actually remember when you’re in the midst of doing things in daily life.

She was explaining how we should try and just notice what thoughts and feelings are coming up for us, without examining them as such. Just notice for example, ‘Yes, this is boredom or anger or depression etc’ and then let it go and get on with whatever it is you’re doing. She said, that way, by becoming more mindful of our emotions, they become more manageable and we don’t get caught up in them the same. They loosen their grip on us.

She was also talking about how we should try and ask ourselves three questions of our thoughts: 1. Are they necessary? 2. Are they kind? 3. Are they true? She said we all have ‘patterns’ we feel stuck in, and its good to start exploring these thought patterns by asking ourselves these three questions.

I just want to ask the more experienced meditators here, how easy or difficult they find it to carry the mindfulness they have developed during meditation practice, over into their daily lives. Is it a very difficult thing to do? Do you feel much more in control of your thoughts and emotions now, during daily life, compared to how you felt when you first began to meditate, and also are you able to be more mindful of your speech now?

I find it difficult to think and know clearly what I’m going to say before I actually say it. I find I tend to just get into the flow and say what comes naturally! When they say you should try and be aware and know what you are going to say before you say it, and why you are going to say it….wouldn’t that cause the flow of conversation to become very stilted and unnatural? Or is it just something which you become a little better at over time - being aware of what thoughts are there in your mind before you actually say the words - without trying to consciously put this into practice when you’re speaking with people?

[ibiDb4uu]

Hi Aasha,

Personally I find that when interacting with others offline, being as relaxed as possible and communicating in a spontaneous way whilst still maintaining awareness of what's happening, is best rather than consciously trying to control anything.

I do often tend to note my reactions and feelings within as they arise however, but it still doesn't happen 100% of the time, lol !

You might find this excerpt 'Compose your minds' helpful, its from Ajahn Sumedho's book " Don't Take Your Life Personally "


http://buddhismnow.wordpress.com/201...ajahn-sumedho/


with kind wishes,

Aloka-D

[LarryG1978]

whilst still maintaining awareness of what's happening

Yes, it helps if one stays sober!!

Thanks Aloka-D for your reply....I'll have a look at this link. I've taken a liking to Ajahn Sumedho..I like his sense of humour.

I think I'm getting better at self-awareness and recognizing stuff now, but I suppose its learning to have that awareness and mindfulness in the midst of your interactions - an ongoing challenge.

[bestworkothlo]

She was also talking about how we should try and ask ourselves three questions of our thoughts: 1. Are they necessary? 2. Are they kind? 3. Are they true? She said we all have ‘patterns’ we feel stuck in, and its good to start exploring these thought patterns by asking ourselves these three questions.

This is just great Aasha, thanks!

I just want to ask the more experienced meditators here, how easy or difficult they find it to carry the mindfulness they have developed during meditation practice, over into their daily lives.
I think that for some it is easier than for others. In my experience, it has not been easy... Also Aasha there are moments when you feel we are doing it great and happens otherwise and we find ourself doing, again, unwholesome. Back to zazen so not to delude at myself.

[Kilaoksrsa]

I listen to AudioDharma, Zencast, Buddhist Geeks and the Interdependence Project. AD has many wonderful speakers but for me, Gil Fronsdal has been an invaluable teacher. Anyway, this is a simplistic answer to the OP's question, but I find that staying mindful in simple tasks, like drinking tea or washing my hands, helps me to stay mindful in the bigger picture. Of course sometimes it's easier said than done!

Thanks for the link, Aloka. I follow Buddhism Now on Twitter so I'm looking forward to reading this particular article.

[rionetrozasa]

I think that for some it is easier than for others. In my experience, it has not been easy

Yes, I find it quite difficult to still my mind at times. Maybe it depends on your temperament and personality how easily you can apply mindfulness to your daily activities. I suppose it can be done, but as you say, for some its a lot easier to achieve than for others.

I’d been having real problems with tension in my chest and back when I was trying to meditate, and I realized this was due to trying too hard, or focusing too hard on the breathing, instead of just letting it happen naturally. I thought I was supposed to be ‘doing’ something!

Andrea Fella, in one of her talks on Audio Dharma - ‘Comfortable Breath’ was saying exactly this. She said every time she moved her focus of attention to the breath, she became tense and everything would tighten up. That’s what happens with me. So I decided for a while to just sit and concentrate on feeling relaxed in body and mind and forget about focusing on the breathing altogether, but just tune into it from time to time, until I felt tension starting up again, and then go back to concentrating on feeling relaxed in my body and mind again. I found this helped a lot, because I’d stopped giving myself such a hard time! I had always thought it was about sitting yourself down on your cushion and saying, ‘right, I need to concentrate now on my breathing, one to ten and repeat…….’

So reading Ajahn Sumedho’s article is really refreshing and comforting, saying you don’t have to try to do anything!!

From "Compose your Minds"....

Gil Fronsdal has been an invaluable teacher.

Yes, his talks are excellent as well...

[objennasweene]

so what are you supposed to do during that time? Place your awareness with the breath ......when you notice 'thinking' bring awareness gently back with the breathing again.

[Buincchotourbss]

Namaste Aasha,

I have been trying very hard to maintain mindfulness in my daily life too. I'm lucky that at my work I can lock myself in the server room and do 10 mins of mindfulness of the breath meditation and I try to do a few during the day if I can. I find it helps me to stay focused on what's happening in the now, rather than frantically think of later events.

I'm also going through a separation and I have found that the regular and frequent meditation "sessions" have helped me be more mindful of my speech and actions with my husband. In turn, we are very amicable and civil at this point in time - something I hope continues. Although I am still extremely sad about it and hope to be able to lessen the pain through continued meditation and classes.

In metta,
Raven

[catarleriarly]

Place your awareness with the breath ......when you notice 'thinking' bring awareness gently back with the breathing again.

This is what I do and it really does help. And "thinking" happens more than I'd like it to during meditation

In metta,
Raven

[tiereenny]

I've downloaded the talk to my ipod and will listen later today.
thanks for posting, this is something I'm very keen to practise as I read a little about it in "Mindfulness In Plain English" recently

[appabessy]

I'm also going through a separation and I have found that the regular and frequent meditation "sessions" have helped me be more mindful of my speech and actions with my husband. In turn, we are very amicable and civil at this point in time..

That's good to hear Raven.

And "thinking" happens more than I'd like it to during meditation

Yes, tell me about it! But as Aloka-D says, its a case of just gently and repeatedly bringing the awareness back to our breathing. I'm learning that its just the nature of the mind to have a stream of thoughts constantly going through it, so learning and taking on board these things is half the battle - its all about being kind to ourselves!

I've learned a lot about my meditation practice since joining this forum...things I wouldn't have learned just by reading books..so its a good place.

I've downloaded the talk to my ipod and will listen later today.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

[tearidrusydet]

Place your awareness with the breath ......when you notice 'thinking' bring awareness gently back with the breathing again.

I agree, this is the main aspect of any meditative technique.

[shashaffff]

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I have listened and I did enjoy it, I'm doing quite well I think in everyday mindfulness but still early days.
Actually I took something else from the talk. I liked what she said about accepting that difficult situation are difficult, because I think we have a tendency to worry about finding the perfect solution that will take away the difficulty when in actual fact it's just a difficult situation and whatever action you take, it may still be difficult. I hope that makes sense.

[thargeagsaf]

I have listened and I did enjoy it

I’m glad you enjoyed it....I thought it was a very interesting talk.

I liked what she said about accepting that difficult situation are difficult, because I think we have a tendency to worry about finding the perfect solution that will take away the difficulty when in actual fact it's just a difficult situation and whatever action you take, it may still be difficult. I hope that makes sense. Yes, all we can do in difficult situations is to try our best. As long as we know we have done everything within our power to work towards improving a situation, then we will feel ok about ourselves. Unfortunately, we don’t have any control over what other people think or do, and sometimes we just have to accept that something isn’t going to work out the way we’d like.