[surefireinvest]

Hello,

I'm not quite sure what to do. I've been meditating for a while: clearing my mind, letting emotions come, feeling them, and letting them go. This is in sharp contrast to my previous coping method: cloud the mind with delusions as a means of distancing myself from my emotions.

Since starting to actually feel emotions instead of keeping them suppressed, it seems as if I've opened the floodgate. At times it seems like things are out of control, and I don't know what to do. I can't calm myself down until the emotions pass. Unfortunately this doesn't occur on my schedule, and thus it negatively impacts me and those around me (not following through with plans, etc).

The problem I'm having is instead of things getting better as I let my emotions come out, they seem to be getting worse. Often I find myself up late at night, anxious about going to sleep, because I am fearful of waking up in the morning overwhelmed by an intensely emotional state of mind. I need to find a means to maintain control even when clouded by extreme emotions.

I already feel a little better just getting that all out. Seems less overwhelming when I lay it all out there. Any advice is greatly appreciated though.

[dogdesign]

Do you have a teacher? It would be good to talk to a teacher about this.

[Svatudjw]

Welcome Compassus Sum,

There's a PDF article at the link called 'Liberating Emotions' by Ajahn Sumedho which you might find helpful.


http://www.forestsangha.org/index.ph...edho&Itemid=25

with kind wishes,

Aloka-D

[ErubTiereedig]

That is very good advice Aloka and a great article. I would like to add that many teachers say that you should never meditate without a teacher, and so I hope that you, compassus have one. Meditation can cause anxiety and depression in some people, which is one reason a teacher is necessary.

[Lidawka]

I have had different teachers myself and whilst I think that meditation isn't always suitable for people with certain mental health problems, I don't think its necessarily harmful for people who can't find a teacher if one utilises some good instructions such as the video series mentioned in the meditation thread in our Study Links section.

Additionally our membership is worldwide and not everyone lives in a place where teachers are readily available.


kind wishes,

Aloka-D

[JohnfAclambrJA]

Thanks for the responses. That was a helpful article Aloka. I don't have a teacher, nor do I have an internet connection that supports downloading videos. I make up for it with a lot of reading.

I am generally positive about things though, despite the doubts and fears I'm creating for myself (or rather, against myself). All is in the journey, I believe.

[aburva.org]

I'm glad the article was helpful. If your connection isn't suitable for videos there are still plenty of audios and written instructions around.

There's some metta (loving kindness) meditation instructions from the Buddhanet site which are also in our Study Links meditation thread, as well as another article from Ajahn Sumedho called 'Universal Loving Kindness'.

[ëàìèíàò]

My teacher says that no one should practice meditation without a teacher due to what you are describing. He hopes that you will be able to find one soon; I do too. A metta meditation would be very good and helpful to you as Aloka suggested and may not cause these problems you are having.

[JMLot]

I don't have a teacher. I am generally positive about things though, despite the doubts and fears I'm creating for myself (or rather, against myself). All is in the journey, I believe.

hi Compassus Sum

if we are following the Buddhist way of life and starting to meditate, then there will be a phase where emotions arise (to be purged or cleansed). This is a phase that requires patient endurance, which includes understanding such emotions are impermanent, when not fed or reinforced. This phase usually also requires some wise reflection, where some emotions must be reconciled with rational understanding.

Buddhist practise also involves spending some time devoting the mind to a stabilising object, such as meditation on in & out breathing, loving-kindness meditation (towards oneself, also towards others), etc

I also agree with the suggestion of Urgyen. It is good to attend a meditation group occassionally. In a meditation group, one can feel more grounded and gain guidance, if necessary, from other practitioners and/or teachers.

Kind regards

Element

[Clolmemaexata]

Compassus sum, "opening the floodgate" after years of repressed emotions can be very intense and frightening, but unless you have mental health issues, emotions themselves can't harm you. How you respond to those emotions can, however. I'd agree with urgyen and suggest you find a guide of some sort. In the meantime, maybe reading and reflecting on the Anapanasati Sutta would be helpful.

[ftqwhbvxlcfop]

Do such things as meditation groups/teachers typically cost money? I will not spend money on spirituality, and I do not wish to receive spiritual guidance from somebody that would deny sharing it based on the fact that one does not have money.

That's not to say that I wouldn't donate to a cause that helped me and/or others, but the question "why does Buddhism cost so much money" seems like a backwards one to me. Maybe that's why I'm turned off by the whole organized tradition thing.

Thanks for the responses, they have been very helpful.

[tipoketpu]

Theravada groups generally do not cost money. Tibetan groups generally cost money.

My suggestion was, say, to attend a small meditation group once a week, something like that.

Generally, meditation groups will have, say, a two hour evening session, with meditation, dhamma talk, possibly discussion and chatting over tea & biscuits (cookies).

Regards

[sportlife]

Alright thank you, I will see if there is anything within biking distance.

Attempting to "buy spirituality" is a lot like trying to take a magic pill to make one all better. Such thinking seems to me to be based on false hope, and is rooted in delusion and desire.

Just my opinion anyways, feel free to disagree if you have a different view on the matter and I will be receptive with an open mind.

[tinamasak]

Hi, Compassus Sum. I don't know what country you're in, but in North America, Tibetan centers are usually free. It's just like going to church on Sunday: you attend Sunday teachings, and those who can afford to, give a donation, but there's no required donation, no one pressures you. I did run into one Tibetan center that offers teachings in the form of classes, like university courses, that you pay for, but that was a rare exception. There's a website that you can check to find Buddhist centers in your area. If I find it, I'll post it. Or maybe someone here knows it.

As far as experiencing emotions with your meditation, I'd just say, watch them, and let them pass, don't get attached to them. It's a good exercise in non-attachment. On the other hand, if you're experiencing nervous system disturbances, like anxiety, that's not good at all. Sometimes the solution can be as simple as changing the type of meditation you're doing. I think someone here suggested doing metta meditation, compassion meditation. Please keep us informed as to how you're doing. Blessings. : )

[Cersdog]

One can find a search facility for centres in areas of whichever country one lives in at the Buddhanet website.

My own offline experience has been similar to Element. Theravada meditation classes and Dhamma talks are free - one can usually stay and also do retreats free at Theravada monasteries. Donations of any kind are gratefully accepted.

Tibetan Buddhist centres charge for accomodation, teachings, courses and meditation classes.

I don't know what the procedure is at Zen centres because I've never been to one.

[exettybele]

Like most Tibetan sanghas, Zen ones don't charge. There's a donation basket at the door. I've never paid a dime at a Tibetan Center. I've heard very good things about some of the Chan centers, too, especially Fo Guang Shan, which has centers in Western countries, emphasizes ethics, and has many women teachers. Friends have told me they give meditation instruction and really focus on the individual and each person's unique qualities and situation. Hopefully, Compassus Sum's area has a selection of centers.

I always advise people to check out the centers, try them a few times to see where you're most comfortable. Check out the teacher, and check out the sangha, the vibe there. Some sanghas behave more like a celebrity "groupie" club, and believe their teacher can do no wrong. That's not a good sign. Test the waters in more than one center, if you have the option. Good luck, Compassus.

[Paladin]

I've never paid a dime at a Tibetan Center.

Hi Mystic1,

This may be the case where you live - but it is not my experience of Tibetan Centres in Europe and the UK.

kind regards,

A-D

[chuecafressds]

The Buddha's recommendation on meditation was never to loose, never too tight. Make sure you are giving yourself enough space when meditating - try looking up every now and then or try listening for background sounds. If the problem persists you might like to try walking meditation, which could be less intense than sitting. Anyway before meditating you might try getting some inspiration and spaciousness from nature or even gazing into the sky or for some people listening to relaxing music helps. Meditation should actually be 50% relaxation, 25% general awareness and only 25% attention on the object of meditation such as the breath. It should be sitting like butter melting in the sun without any conscious effort to get results. Anyway don't give up - it is normal for the mind to go wild at first because it is not used to being watched.

[halyshitzob]

I do not wish to receive spiritual guidance from somebody that would deny sharing it based on the fact that one does not have money.

I agree with that Compassus sum. I have donated for the upkeep and running of centers though, as it all costs money to run but it should be voluntary. Just ask about any charges when you contact a group.

[Extinimot]

Here in Korea, there's a TempleStay program. They charge if you want to stay overnight. It's pretty much hotel rates. In rural Thailand, there's no charge, but most people donate if they can afford it.