[favwebbb]

I'm really in need of support and good thoughts. I've mentioned before that I have bipolar disorder. I've been having intrusive thoughts about being aggressive, sometimes towards people. They get into my head, and my hand even twitches a little, but luckily I'm "here" enough to be able to stop myself. But I can see it playing in my head, and my arm is itching to throw whatever I'm holding.

I am so overwhelmed with good resources in the other thread I posted about physical suffering that right now, I would like a pared down version for my troubled mind. Because I'm still *mostly* in touch with reality, what are some very very basic things I can use to try and clear my mind? Should I go back and study that video series posted on my other thread? Any other ideas?

And honestly, part of what I'm looking for is just for someone to respond and say they're thinking good thoughts/good vibes. I really need people right now. Note: I'm aware that no one here is qualified to give me mental health advice like my doctor would. I understand. I'll call my doctor if it gets bad. I'm just rapid cycling due to massive stress/changes. I just want friends, and a "buddhism light" suggestion so that I can put these things into practice, but in a simple way, as I am too hypomanic to sit and do a lot of reading. I'm only trying for 5 minutes of meditation here.

[replrobin]

Hi BiBRN

Always, our first step is to mentally note it; to mentally recognise the emotion: "Anger...anger...I am angry...the mind is angry...anger", etc

We can even speak the words softly to ourself: "Angry...anger...etc..."

Even when our hands twitch or fists clench, we recognise it, observe them, note them: "Angry hands, angry arms..etc"

Sometimes, we just need to note it and the emotion will calm down by itself and the mind will aspire to be something different

For example, when noting: "Angry...anger...", the mind/we may suddenly think: "I don't want this anger anymore...I want to be bright; I want to be happy"

So the meditation method is to stay with the anger; 'cradle it'; 'contain it' in a container of awareness & recognition of it, until change comes

In Buddhism, we regard all emotions as transient; that they will pass & subside, sooner or later.

May you find peace & freedom within

With kindness

Element

[The Buddha taught] And how does a person remain focused on the mind in & of itself?

There is the case where a person, when the mind has greed, discerns that the mind has greed. When the mind is without greed, he discerns that the mind is without greed.

When the mind has anger, he discerns that the mind has anger. When the mind is without anger, he discerns that the mind is without anger.

When the mind has confusion, he discerns that the mind has confusion. When the mind is without confusion, he discerns that the mind is without confusion.

When the mind is constricted, he discerns that the mind is constricted. When the mind is scattered, he discerns that the mind is scattered.

When the mind is bright, he discerns that the mind is bright. When the mind is ordinary, he discerns that the mind is ordinary.

When the mind is concentrated, he discerns that the mind is concentrated. When the mind is not concentrated, he discerns that the mind is not concentrated.

When the mind is free, he discerns that the mind is free. When the mind is not free, he discerns that the mind is not free. [The Buddha taught] Furthermore, when walking, the person discerns, 'I am walking.' When standing, he discerns, 'I am standing.' When sitting, he discerns, 'I am sitting.' When lying down, he discerns, 'I am lying down.' Or however his body is disposed, that is how he discerns it.

Furthermore, when going forward & returning, he makes himself fully alert; when looking toward & looking away... when bending & extending his limbs, the person discerns, 'I am bending & extending my limbs.'...etc... he makes himself fully alert.

[poonnassunlix]

Hi, BiBuddhistRN,

Element is right on target. With regards to mental phenomena, maybe try keeping in mind, "These thoughts are not me, not mine. They arise in certain conditions and they pass when those conditions change. Conditions are always changing."

And please keep your word about seeing your physician when you feel you need to.

Peace...

[Kayakeenemeds]

Whenever you begin thinking negative thoughts like that, replace them with the opposite thoughts such as I feel love towards that person and repeat this thought silently all day long. It could very well work, because it did for me when I had negative thoughts about anything. Try it for a day and see.

[vipluka]

Hi Em,

Gently ... gently......just breathing gently.....

I think Element has given you some very good advice #2

Thinking about you and sending you lots of good wishes and loving kindness. (metta)


Aloka-D

[tsovimnpb]

Thank you so much for the thoughts. I do promise to tell my doctor if it gets bad. Luckily, I am very self-aware so I know when I need medical help.

Mentally recognizing those thoughts is very good for me, and I will definitely put that into practice. It will help keep me grounded and aware of what's going on. I'll accept that the thoughts are there. Radical acceptance is a DBT strategy as well. And hey, the "conditions are always changing" is very helpful.

All in all, thank you so much. Each response has been helpful for me. It's such a comfort to have non-medicinal coping skills. I mean I have Xanax lying around, but I *hate* to use it unless it's an emergency. Not only is it very addictive (addicting?) but it calms me too much sometimes, and knowing that I am so calm that anything could happen and I'd hardly bat an eye is unsettling. I need *some* emotion. Thank you again. So helpful.

[hjyAMqqT]

Thanks BiBRN

It gladdens me to read about your growing self-awareness, coping skills and quest for more emotional freedom & clarity.

The quest ('internal fight') for freedom is that which empowers all of us.

With kindness

Element