[SzefciuCba]

I am a (very) beginning practitioner. I began meditation practice one month ago, I listen to the weekly lessions on AudioDharma, and engaging in the "homework" assignments.

Here is my moral dillema:
I have a very close friend whom I have invited to join me in Peru this winter. My mother and sister live there, and we would spend time in my home and at the beach. We are so excited about the trip, and its even more exciting for her because she hasn't ever left the US!
Recently, my friend went to the dentist only to find out that she needs around $1500 worth of dental work (we are both grad students and have no dental insurance), and she can no longer afford the ticket to Peru. She has asked me to donate her my skymiles so that she can have enough miles to get a free ticket through a promotion Delta is having, and I would be so thrilled to do this, but the problem is I can forsee resentment. I have accrued quite a few miles on Delta, and since I save up every year to buy a plane ticket to Peru to see my mom, I was looking forward to eventually having enough miles for a free ticket for myself.

I would like to help her out by giving her my miles, but I feel uncomfortable doing so. I fear resentment in the future if I do forfeit all my miles so that she can fly free. Gosh I feel selfish.

I would love any advice from anyone,
Thanks!

[vNZsk39B]

Welcome to the group mamabatata.

In answer to your dilemma,

You have said that your friend is very close to you, that you invited her to Peru to meet your relatives and that you have been feeling excited about the trip together......so I don't understand why you think there is a problem !

With kind wishes to you,

Aloka-D

[CsFLhGNp]

Welcome :-)

In the immortal words of Rasczak, Figuring things out for yourself is the only freedom anyone really has.

Really, no one can make that call but you.

For me, I think I would offer the miles and forget they had ever been there. It is not often that an opportunity to offer such a kindness with so little effort presents itself. But that is just me. It seems a very easy thing to do.

With time and practise one learns that resentment is the product of stewing over something and failing to let go of it. One has to work to dredge up a resentment, and to feed and nourish it.


But again, the choice is yours alone.

And welcome to BWB.

[Dwnijzhd]

You have said that your friend is very close to you, that you invited her to Peru to meet your relatives and that you have been feeling excited about the trip together......so I don't understand why you think there is a problem !

With kind wishes to you,

Aloka-D

What she said. :-)

[chechokancho]

Maybe it's cheaper to see a dentist in Peru.

[Machater]

Wow, foji, if I didn't know you better, I might almost think that you were trolling....

[crestorinfo]

This Fojiao is correct...it is actually much cheaper to see a dentist in Peru, and they are in many cases just as competent as those trained in the US. So it's worth pursiung, thanks for the idea

[Gscvbhhv]

Wow, foji, if I didn't know you better, I might almost think that you were trolling....

That would be speculation on your part, which, I understand, is not possible.

As far as I know, I never troll
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29
...but perhaps that is just speculation on my part.

[denwerdinoss]

That would be speculation, but it would be based upon what I see and have seen.

Your "As far as I know" would be the operative clause.

[gugamotina]

As far as I know, I never troll

Lol, short memory there eh? How about the 'bondage' sutta trolling, to name just one occasion !

Anyway lets not forget this is the Beginners forum and return to topic ...that is if there is one now.

[AutoCadPhotoSHOP]

As far as I know, I never troll

LOL, short memory there eh, Mr f2? How about the 'bondage' sutta trolling, to name just one occasion !



Anyway lets not forget this is the Beginners forum and return to topic ...that is if there is one now, of course.

[K0aM7urg]

Here's some reflections... 1 2 3 4 5 6

[shemadagaswer]

With time and practise one learns that resentment is the product of stewing over something and failing to let go of it. One has to work to dredge up a resentment, and to feed and nourish it.

.

Thanks for the sound perspective on this. I gave her my skymiles and I've never seen her happier

I read some essays by Gil Fronsdal in "the issue at hand" about generosity, about cultivating these actions and the impact that giving with right intention has on us. So, a happy ending for all and thanks!

I'm grateful to have such a good friend, grateful that my folks taught me to manage my money wisely so that I have always been able to save for these trips, grateful for the opportunity to give something that actually meant alot to someone.

And my cousin in Peru is a dentist and has offered her some far better prices on those fillings