[Alina20100]

I had a wonderful meditation this morning and had been in a great mood since but now I feel disappointed, I lost my temper this afternoon.
I have since thought about what happened and in retrospect I know if I'd kept calm I could have dealt with it in a different way but I just lost it so quick. I probably need to recognise the signs early and take time out, if it was only that easy.
The higher you get the further you have to fall, but I feel better already by writing this post.
How do you deal with your anger?
Thank you
Gary

[CxofxJFm]

How do you deal with your anger?

Hi Gary,

I notice in mid anger that I'm angry, ...being aware of the body tension, the breathing etc ....place my awareness with the breath.. and just let go and relax -and the anger's gone.


Loving kindness (metta) meditation is good for reducing anger as is contemplation of the four sublime states.

These practices can be found here:

http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm

[TEFSADDERFISA]

Thanks Jay O I think I get what you're saying, thanks for the link Daz feeling back in the groove again now.
Love, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and Equanimity..........

[freddystone]

but with a humbleness that welcomes silence looking inwardly. It is as welcome as silence putting the anger to sleep, the precious babe to rest within a mindful shelter of home, sweet home.

That's beautifully put.

I notice in mid anger that I'm angry, ...being aware of the body tension, the breathing etc ....place my awareness with the breath.. and just let go and relax.

Often I find that the pace of breathing is different, when angry, realising that reminds me to calm.

[smokeberly]

I keep a string of those little power beads I bought back about a decade ago when they were super trendy. I was in junior high, so of course had a huge color-coordinated collection. Now they come in useful.

When I feel myself getting flustered (usually because of frustration, but anger is similar for me), I take off the bracelet and do a round on the beads. I do a quick reminder to myself with each bead that an enemy--whether a person or situation--is a precious opportunity to practice patience. My friends, my hobbies, the stuff that makes me feel peaceful and happy, those things are great. But they don't give me a chance to practice the skills I need.

So telling myself, "Take the opportunity. Do something with it," is helpful. I've also made it into a joke, which has actually helped more than anything else. When something causes a response of aggravation in me, a sentence will come out like, "Ah. Well. I see my boss has decided to present me with lots of opportunities today. How nice." My coworkers know what I mean, and we all laugh, but I haven't really griped. I've vented my frustration in a way that reminds me of where my priorities should be.

I've found that massively useful. Maybe it'd be some good to you? Your mileage may vary, but I thought I'd suggest it since it was useful for me.

[BgpOoGI2]

Hello Gary,

I had that same experience when I first seriously started my commitment with zazen (sitting meditation in Zen). I asked to my Roshi about it and he told me that when this happens, maybe, because sometimes the ego has been increased with meditation as when we feel "ourselves" as "I am feeling better with..." so, some life facts can threaten more easily that "I am..." that has been fattened, inconspicuosly, during meditation.

After that I understand the odd zen saying "do zazen just because..."

[AALee]

Thank you all for your replies I'm almost looking forward to getting angry to practice some of these methods.

[85IbLcwQ]

The Dhammapada Ch17 v 231 - 234 states:

"Guard against anger erupting in your body;
Be restrained with your body.
Letting go of bodily misconduct,
Practice good conduct with you body.

Guard against anger erupting in your speech;
Be restrained with your speech.
Letting go of verbal misconduct,
Practice good conduct with your speech.

Guard against anger erupting in your mind;
Be restrained with your mind.
Letting go of mental misconduct,
Practice good conduct with your mind.

The wise are restrained in body,
Restrained in speech.
The wise are restrained in mind.
They are fully restrained."



Anyone else have any further reflections and/or advice about dealing with anger?

[RBJamez]

Thanks Aloka-D, it seems my feelings of anger have eased without really making any conscious effort. I can only assume that's one of the benefits of meditation.
Kind regards
Gary

[WaysletlyLene]

Speaking in general terms and not referring to any particular individual, I suggest as food for thought that dwelling on and agonising over the fact that we have lost control and become angry may actually feed the habit of anger. Guilt about having lost our temper may make us more likely to become angry again. Letting go of what is past may be an important component of allowing a chronic anger habit to die. There may however be a danger in failing to acknowledge that we are infected by this habit. We must acknowledge it, else the habit is likely to thrive. Having acknowledged it, we must let it go. The letting go must be natural, not forced, or the monster is fed once more.

[anfuckinggs]

The letting go must be natural, not forced, or the monster is fed once more.

I think in general, whatever one is doing, its important to just relax.......

....and to smile at other people too ..one finds that they usually smile back !

[blackjackiisre]

....and to smile at other people too ..one finds that they usually smile back !

I really enjoy to do that dear Aloka... I can see how a smile can make the day for a stranger...

[GustavM]

Having acknowledged it, we must let it go.

Great Snowmelt!

[sarasaraseda]

Tich Nhat Hanh has a lot to say in THE ART OF POWER about cultivating an atmosphere that nurturers peace. Being discriminating as to the media you take in, movies and music and what you read should lessen the chance of any underlying seeds of anger, hate or ill will that have not yet been thoroughly dealt with by practice from being activated, becoming energies and emotions that can drive anger

[tiereenny]

sorry some how I posted it twice! whew i'm still not angry...

[aideriimibion]

whew i'm still not angry.

Very glad to hear it !

[Spalax]

I had a wonderful meditation this morning and had been in a great mood since but now I feel disappointed, I lost my temper this afternoon.
I have since thought about what happened and in retrospect I know if I'd kept calm I could have dealt with it in a different way but I just lost it so quick.

*Welcome to my favorite topic, which is you are human and you have flaws! :-)

*I also suffer from a bad temper, not often, but when it does happen, it's really scary for other people.

I probably need to recognise the signs early and take time out, if it was only that easy.
The higher you get the further you have to fall, but I feel better already by writing this post.
How do you deal with your anger?
Thank you
Gary

*First of all, I don't judge myself if I have anger. I think that sometimes religions will try to make you feel ashamed that you have this very normal human emotion.

*Secondly, when I'm very angry and don't wish to lash out, I do something called Yoga Nidra or what is sometimes called in Buddhism, a "body scan". It is where you sit in a relaxing position or lie. Then I have guided "body scans", for example, one is in "The Mindfulness Way Through Depression". It goes over your entire body to make sure each part of your body is relaxed. It works great for anger, IMHO.

Best,
True

[NodePark]

Hi Truelotus,

I'm having to edit your posts because you are posting inside the words which say 'quote' which indicate the beginning and end of the quote from another poster.

You can modify your posts yourself afterwards if you get it wrong, please check, thanks.

Kind wishes,

Aloka-D

[anxpuna]

Anger is an avenue I am currently working to change. It's a strong subject with me, and something that I have harbored and nurtured for too many years. I can PHYSICALLY feel my body breaking down.

[reaciciomarep]

I can PHYSICALLY feel my body breaking down.

Yes. I don't get angry very often...but if I do, I definately can feel it physically as well as mentally.