[onelovemp]

I was just chatting online to an old friend who is going through a hard time just now. She mentioned that she has faith in Jesus to help her through, so I replied oh good as long as you get comfort from Jesus he's doing his job. She then said how good it was that I had faith in Jesus too, I then explained that I was Buddhist but that doesn't mean that I disbelieve in God. She then warned me that the devil comes in different forms and I need to be careful etc. I politely changed the subject after trying to think of something say for what seemed like ages, how do you reply to that without offending someone?
With gratitude
Gary

[Fiesialenp]

Hi Gary,

Personally, if a friend of mine who was a Christian was going through a bad time and she warned me about the devil, I think I'd just say gently, 'I don't believe in a devil, but thanks for your concern' ... or maybe just not say anything at all. Sometimes less is more, as the saying goes !

Kind wishes,

Aloka

[Hetgvwic]

HI,

I agree with saying nothing. Allow them the freedom of their beliefs.

[OnerePeepsy]

I agree with saying nothing. Allow them the freedom of their beliefs.

[grinaJanoDant]

I personally don't really worry about offending friends who believe that demons are lurking in the shadowy corners of my life waiting to tempt me away from Christ. I'll be nice, but part of Right Speech for me is not being dishonest. If somebody is trying to fit their religion into my life, I'll explain why it doesn't go there.

You're a good friend to offer support to this person, but that doesn't give her license to start giving you patronizing warnings about having to be cautious lest Satan do... whatever it is that Christians are so afraid Satan is doing. I've found that religious people tend to back off when I say, "Oh, well. Faith and I don't fit together very well. Thanks for your concern, though," and then put things back on topic. If at that point they turn it into an impromptu evangelism session, then I'll deal with that. Drawing a boundary on my life that I'm not open to being evangelized to is not in any way impeding anybody else's freedom of belief. It's just me denying them opportunity to disrespect my freedom of belief.

You know your friend, though, and you know your own comfort level. If right now, to you, Right Speech means not challenging an evidently-fragile foundation of your friend's emotional and spiritual life, then you're the best judge of that. However, I am not in the habit of pretending to be receptive to evangelism just because the other person's faith may not survive the fact that I'm happy without sharing it.

[Oppofeescom]

Thanks for the replies, it will be interesting to see where our next conversation leads. To be honest I'd rather be frank with her but I was quite surprised she mentioned Jesus and even more surprised to get the devil warning. I'll sleep with one eye open from now on.

[videolkif]

Hi Fletcher, am a new forum member and hope you don't mind me commenting on your post.

As well as dealing with the concerns of offending your friend there is the issue of her view of the devil and his ability to invade or mislead us.

Maybe she is projecting her own fears onto you, and feels somehow at risk herself despite the comfort that her faith in Jesus brings her.

Her own sense of boundaries and trust in her own instincts may be affected by the bad time she is struggling with at present.

[saturninus.ribb]

As Buddhists we should always see ourselves as lower than the person we are dealing with. Right speech should reflect the utmost respect we have for all beings and the compassion we feel for their suffering. As Aloka-D has said you should reply that you don't believe in the devil yourself but to wish her all the best and tell her you are happy that she has found someone like Jesus to rely on. There is no point in telling her too much about your own faith or life philosophy unless she asks, and if sh does you should be as honest as you can with her without hurting her feelings.

[Forexampleee]

Thank you both for your replies. Sandbay welcome to the forum its nice to have you here, you are probably correct about her fears, her Mother was a God fearing born again Christian who used to go a far as speaking in tounges etc. My friend and her brothers never showed any interest in church when we were younger that was why I was so surprised talking to her the other evening that could have been her mother speaking. She's not mentioned anything about it since, I will contact her in a few days and see how she's getting on.

[Enrobrorb]

Please excuse my ignorance, but isn't Mara comparable to the devil? (as Buddha is to Jesus?).

[lYVgWWcP]

Hi JadeRabbit,

Personally I don't think Buddha compares that much to Jesus, though as Jesus came a lot later probably some of the ideas he espoused were influenced by Buddhism.

It's true that Mara was said to tempt the Buddha just before his enlightenment, but Mara is generally considered to be the representation of negativity and temptation rather than an actual person. We've covered this subject in the past in some topics here.

Here's what the late Ajahn Buddhadasa had to say.



MARA

Now we turn to a rather strange word, the word "Mara" (the tempter, the devil), The Mara of everyday language is conceived as a kind of monster with body, face, and eyes of repulsive and terrifying appearance. Mara in Dhamma language, however, is not a living creature but rather any kind of mental state opposed to the good and wholesome and to progress towards the cessation of dukkha. That which opposes and obstructs spiritual progress is called Mara. We may think of Mara as a living being if we wish, as long as we understand what he really stands for.

No doubt you have often heard the story of how Mara came down from the Paranimmitavasavatti realm to confront the Buddha-to-be. This was the real Mara the Tempter. He came down from the highest heaven, the Paranimmitavasavatti realm, which is a heaven of sensual enjoyments of the highest order, a paradise abounding in everything the heart could desire, where someone is always standing by to gratify one's every wish. This is Mara the Tempter, but not the one with the ugly, ferocious countenance and reddened mouth, who is supposed to go around catching creatures to suck their blood. That is Mara as ignorant people picture him. It is the Mara of the everyday language of ignorant people who don't know how to recognize Mara when they see him.

In Dhamma language, the word "Mara" means at worst the heaven known as Paranimmitavasavatti, the highest realm of sensuality. In general it means any mental state opposed to the good and wholesome, opposed to spiritual progress. This is Mara in Dhamma language.



http://www.what-buddha-taught.net/Bo...f_Language.htm

[NikkitaZ]

Thanks Aloka-D



I wondered if it might help Fletcher's situation and explain the similarities to his friend, but I don't think so in this case

[CibQueersejer]

Hi JadeRabbit
I understand what you're saying about mara and the devil the thought had crossed my mind
Thank you

[truttyMab]

how do you reply to that without offending someone?

You don't. If she believes in angles chances are that she believes in devils too. Us Buddhists also sometimes believe in the unverifiable... Our beliefs, just like her belief, has one common purpose: "moral conduct". It's all the same afterall don't you think?