[bestonline]

maybe some of you can explain this to me! (forgive my ignorance please)

Some people say that being gay is not a matter of choice...Does this mean that many gay people are saying that "I don't want to be gay, I would rather be straight, but I can't help it!"??? That concept doesn't make much sense to me...

anyone?

From M-W: " CHOICE suggests the opportunity or privilege of choosing freely ."

You can't choose your sexual orientation.
You can say "from now on I'm gay" & make love with your own sex (gender). That wouldn't make you homosexual in my eyes though, unless you already had the biological (&/or psychological) disposition of homosexuality, only suppressed for whatever reason (which means you were always homosexual, but didn't [want to] know). Maybe you would understand better, if you differentiate between sexual orientation & lifestyle (although that may not really fit for all cases, either).