[29clepayJainync]

Women are definitely into casual sex.

[Cinzomzm]

Originally posted by Kidicious
I was married long enough to find out how much I don't know though.

Nice save.

[chuecalovers]

Originally posted by -Jrabbit

I'm referring to Polytubby extrapolation, not academic study. Oh, ok, fair enough.

[dayclaccikere]

Each woman is so different there is no way you can throw them into a little category and claim that "they all like casual sex" or that they all want a certain thing and act a certain way.

Granted, some women are into casual sex, I however, am definitely not. I waited until I was married before I did anything more than kiss a man. Kissing, that's as far I ever went, despite the best efforts of some of the men I dated. I know that not many women would wait until marriage, but that was my prerogative and they have theirs.

Let me be clear though, I didn't wait because I was jealous or worried that people would call me a whore (as stated in the OP). I waited because I had respect for myself and my future husband. Staying celibate until marriage is a great way to avoid unwanted pregnancies, STD's and horrible memories.

[Licacivelip]

Originally posted by Cartimandua
Each woman is so different there is no way you can throw them into a little category and claim that "they all like casual sex" or that they all want a certain thing and act a certain way.

Granted, some women are into casual sex, I however, am definitely not. I waited until I was married before I did anything more than kiss a man. Kissing, that's as far I ever went, despite the best efforts of some of the men I dated. I know that not many women would wait until marriage, but that was my prerogative and they have theirs.

Let me be clear though, I didn't wait because I was jealous or worried that people would call me a whore (as stated in the OP). I waited because I had respect for myself and my future husband. Staying celibate until marriage is a great way to avoid unwanted pregnancies, STD's and horrible memories. Total class.

[Coollabioto]

sshhhh!

[TerriLS]

Thank you Lancer

B etor, Good for your sister. I think it's admirable to be careful and self-respecting. Not kissing before marriage would have probably killed me off, and might make it harder to convince a guy to get married, but I wish her luck in her efforts

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
It's also ensures that you don't have a frame of reference for your husband's sexual performance. I suspect this is why many men still want to marry virgins. I will be very honest, that is one of the reasons why I married a guy who was also a virgin, I didn't like the idea of being compared to someone else.

[251EPyso]

If you care about someone and trust them/etc, why not get married?

If there is something that is keeping you from getting married, that same thing might be a good reason to keep from having sex also (if you are of the traditional mindset).

JM

[jdynwa]

Originally posted by Traianvs
So people who have sex with others before marriage because they enjoy it are not self-respecting? There is no need to pull undesired meanings out of what I said. I was just giving the girl props for having enough self worth (aka respect) to follow her standards in a world which looks down on morals.

However, I have been witness to many individuals who do not feel that they are of any worth or importance and those people more often than not will be the ones doing stupid things like one night stands and drunk driving. If you truly felt valued you wouldn't need to get drunk or throw your emotions and care to the wind by sleeping with every guy that approaches you.

[espabamar]

pardon me for interrupting, but in answer to the question women - pretentious or prudish

my answer is that men can just be as pretentious or prudish but i believe the answer as to whether a male or female is pretensious or prudish is based upon what they value, which in turn can be created from the context of their experiences, including how they are nurtured, events that have taken place in their lives concerning socialisation with both their own gender and the opposite gender, as either case will effect those who are hetero, homo, bi or trans in my honest opinion

but also in a sense, a person could be considered both capable of being pretensious or prudish, some could consider this based on psychology, the freudian idea of the id, ego and superego could be related in the sense that being prudish could be 'id'ish and pretentious being 'superego'ish, or it could be that these are two states that are like seasons that we as humans cycle through during certain periods of our existence, in a post-modernist version of self, there is the adaptive self where a person's personality adapts to the social group they are around

pardon if i'm waffling on or making a mountain out of a molehill, but these are just other perspectives i'd like to share in the conversation

thankyou for reading this

[Qauunet]

I'd think there's a practical argument against no sex before marriage based on the fact that a lot of people wouldn't know exactly what they want until they've tried some. Sex isn't like something you drink or buy off the shelf. It's going to be very different for each person. Say you go out there and have sex with a few people, but they like different things, how can you apply that to someone else when you marry?

I can picture myself a situation where at the end of the honeymoon, the guy becomes perfectly happy with the missonary position for 15 minutes on Saturday nights, the girl on the other hand wants something more or something different. Now, what if neither of them have had sex before? How do they know they aren't satisfied? You learn together, and the first time isn't really going to be satisfying as the later times will be just because you know each other much better each subsequent time.

A sex life where at least one of the two is not satisfied - literally - could quickly result in a divorce, obviously, and I'm thinking some test drives before marriage would be a benefit simply because then people know what they want and what to anticipate from the other dude or dudette. With the same person or with someone else? How special is a honeymoon if you've been having sex for years prior?

Nothing much to back it up, I'll admit, just a gut feeling. But I'd still be interested in hearing a take from somebody who advocates or practices/practiced the approach, since I literally don't know anybody like that. I know a few, and like Carti they like the fact that they one they are with has never had anyone else. That gives them a sense of security. I think the issue with satisfaction is true for any couple, they need to be able to accommodate each other.

[Dvjkefdw]

Let me just say once again I appreciate the reply. I don't get to talk to somebody of your persuasion often (edit: this is the closest I've ever been, at least in terms of substantial discussion), and you seem to have put a good deal of effort into your opinion. The more reason to reply, if DF won't mind we're getting a little off-topic (sorry, DF).

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
I think the issue with satisfaction is true for any couple, they need to be able to accommodate each other. Now, I can't believe I missed the implications of that very sentence.

You need to be able to accomodate each other. This means you have to know each other very well. I'm sure you agree that anybody's sexuality is a core part of their person, and how on earth are you going to know that without checking it out first?

You'd never marry somebody without knowing their family or their friends or their financial situation or their personal problems or their dreams including their worst nightmares. Seems odd that something as important for a couple as sex should be something you can begin to figure out some way along the line after you get married. While I admit you can discuss it beforehand, I'd still say you don't know what food you like until you've had some.

[oxinsnepe]

Don't trust Monk. He's the most dangerous when he's acting all nice.