[yurawerj]

I played a game, looked up some stuff on the internet, did a lot of foruming, talked about games a bit, exercised, ate, worked a bit (not very productively), hmm, and maybe something else also.

JM

[DesautocaD]

Well, got out of bed around 7PM. Checked the score of the game between Club Brugge and Cercle Brugge around 8PM. Rejoiced at the win for Club Brugge and went for a walk around 10PM. Got booze around 11PM. Got to drinking around 12PM. Not sure what I did after 12Pm.

[Knongargoapex]

Woke up, discussed options for the future with my wife. Showed her the pics NetNet sent. We decided to fly home after the taxes were done in a few weeks. Then we decided we couldn't really. Then took Dolores to work and posted on Poly while watching the sci channel. Played Empire Deluxe and got bored. Just finished cooking for a friend who will visit tomorrow, simple fare, sausage and mac&cheese. Had a few hot chocos and rum.

Normal day.

[Uojeyak]

Originally posted by Lancer
Woke up, discussed options for the future with my wife. Showed her the pics NetNet sent. We decided to fly home after the taxes were done in a few weeks. Then we decided we couldn't really. Then took Dolores to work and posted on Poly while watching the sci channel. Played Empire Deluxe and got bored. Just finished cooking for a friend who will visit tomorrow, simple fare, sausage and mac&cheese. Had a few hot chocos and rum.

Normal day. You send your wife off to work while you sit around drinking?

[TOOGUEITEME]

Originally posted by LordShiva
You send your wife off to work while you sit around drinking?

[Trotoleterm]

Sure, right after you donate to our travel fund.

[nushentelve]

Helped finish repairing a fence damaged by an intense wind storm, visited my brother, and did the laundry. Fun stuff.

[NodePark]

I slept in. Put a couple more fans in my case since it's been getting warmer the last couple days. I thought about what I did today. I typed what I came up with here. Now I am about to submit it.

[Kingerix]

I made Lancer laugh.

[Ndptbudd]

+ didn't add Asher as a friend

[b7RKli4l]

Who who? Who who

whoooooo are you?

Who who? Who who?

[OmqMZtkv]

Went to be around 2 AM after friend's birthday party; woke up at 8 AM to prepare beef bourguignon in slow cooker; went back to bed at 9 AM; woke up around noonish; had cold pizza for lunch; got a haircut; went to Target; bought a few toiletries that I forgot at the supermarket along with a CD (Spoon's "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga"); watched some TV; ate dinner (deliciousness!!!); watched a bit of Yankees-Red Sox baseball; watched "John Adams" on HBO; watched the end of Yankees-Red Sox; finished reading "Midnight's Children" by Salman Rushdie; and posted on Poly and other forums and well as general web surfing throughout the day.

[AlexClips]

I would have ate Boeuf Bourguignon...

[abossakon]

Is this a 48inch boeuf bourguignon?

[Qynvtlur]

Originally posted by LordShiva
I got laid By a one night girl? A prospect? A modern girl friend?

[tweriaroats]

Not too much today.

But yesterday I started my career in relationship counseling. Not what I had planned to do when I woke up, but my days unfold in interesting ways.

They were a troubled young couple, but I think I really helped unravel some of the conflict between them and shared some happier attitudes towards life, along with advice and strategies for dealing with problems, and getting right to the root of their inner-conflicts.
They seemed a lot happier and less burdened, and thanked me quite profusely so I think it must have gone well ;-).

The sad thing is, I think I did a much better job than someone fresh out of a 5 year university course in psychology would. Heck, give them 15 years work experience and I'd still go head to head and be confident of doing a much better job. Like, I'd charge less (much much less) and my client would actually feel a lot better afterwards.
Because the shrink is trying to figure out what is WRONG with someone (and then take a bunch of money from them for this um, service)
While I'm just helping them to reach the conclusion, that there's nothing wrong with them (and then tell them they owe me nothing, the best way then can repay me, is to make a better future for themselves and those they love).

[Jannet.K]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
beef bourguignon Recipe?

[Aizutox]

Originally posted by Lorizael


Is your knowledge of professional psychological practices based on anything more than **** pulled out of your ass? Or perhaps, maybe, biased anecdotal evidence? Are you implying such a foundation is...bad?

[97dYA9L3]

Originally posted by LordShiva


You send your wife off to work while you sit around drinking? That's what real men do.

[CesseOveldset]

Originally posted by Lorizael
Is your knowledge of professional psychological practices based on anything more than **** pulled out of your ass? Or perhaps, maybe, biased anecdotal evidence? From personal experience (I haven't been to many shrinks, but all were the same - notepad, wrote down what I said, told me what was wrong with me), and from what other people say. There's always bias, I'm not part of a collective consciousness yet ;-).


If a shrink is good, it's not because of their university education. It's because they've forgotten about that and just do their own thing.

When I talk to people, my head is very empty of thoughts, very empty of preconception. Basically they say things, their problems, it enters my heads, the greed, hatred and delusion is stripped away, and I return it to them, all cleaned up and much more palatable. They usually like their thoughts after I'm done with them.

For instance, I'd been asked by a friend to talk to this young guy - her adult son. Who is just in a whole load of deep sh*t, he like punches himself in the face and stuff, deeply depressed, going nowhere in life, girlfriend has been demonized by the mother, etc etc...

So I'd got him alone under the pretense of taking him grocery shopping to buy some food for him (because he's broke and starving) and while driving him around I talked to him - but mainly just listened to what he had to say. Quickly established his main problems were money and his girlfriend.

We started with this kind of thing:
Him "My girlfriend cheated on me"
Me: "uh-huh"
Him: "And she she left me alone one night"
Me "Why is that a problem?"
Him "um.... I suppose it isn't really..."
...

Later, after more of him talking about his problems and me essentially asking "why is that a problem?" in more or less words (or similiar "elaborate" questions), and him being quite surprised at being unable to give a good answer, and after I've had time to digest what he said and "process" it, I started really changing his perspective in earnest:
Me: "Now I'm being a bit cheeky here. But you know what I think? That girls, you know, they tend to be needy and demanding. They demand a lot of attention and money, and they complain and nag a lot. A girlfriend can really make you suffer.
If she cheats on you, then you get a nice break from her! You can do something else for the night! Some other poor bugger suffers her neediness and demands!"
Him: ".... hahah, I never thought of it that way before"

(Gosh, I'm a Celibate, but if I had a girlfriend, I'd be DELIGHTED if another man took away my girlfriend suffering for a night. She still works just as well when you get her back)

And then I give the whole "If you love someone, set them free" spiel. And he goes "Yeah, she complains that I'm possessive!", and I say "Right, and if you give someone freedom - if you don't try to control them, then they'll never want to let go of you - you're a real keeper! Because you make them feel free when they're around you... and they value that feeling more than anything in the world"

And I just told him what a wonderful person his girlfriend is and how lucky has was to have her, something we could both agree on.

And that really changed his perspective, and what I said about giving others freedom, really sunk in, he really liked it, he kept saying it, he recognized for himself what a source of conflict his own possessiveness had been in their relationship. I don't know if he liked what I said about letting other men borrow his GF to give him a break from her, but I think it amused him and lightened the mood! I don't think anyone had ever before taken the stance that cheating girlfriends are a GOOD THING, worthy of a minor celebration - but that kind of thing, it just throws the curve-ball which depressed people need to break them out of their depression, in a way, it's giving them permission to forgive ("Not such a big deal. I can forgive this person")

I DON'T think a western psychologist would take that tact, and I DON'T think what they do instead, would do so well at relieving his depression of having a girlfriend who cheats on him.
I'd say, they'd try to validate his anger towards his girlfriend... validate his depression under these circumstances.

And anyway, after talking about his problems for a while, of many natures, that's when I said "I'm a buddhist... and I can offer relationship counseling", with the disclaimer "And you'd be doing me a big favor, because I've never tried it before! And I love trying new things!". And he said:
"Yeah, she wants us to do relationship counseling, but I didn't want to... but okay, I'll do that with you".
I meant later in the week or something, but these people; they just pick up the ball and run with it, and 30 minutes later I was talking to them both... hahah.

My starting tact after getting them relaxed and cheered up a bit was like this:
Me: "Okay. What's the problem with this man?"
Her: "um..." she kind of looks around sheepishly
Me: "Come on, there's got to be something wrong with him! Just pick anything"
She shakes her head and says "nothing"
Me: "Okay listen. He's controlling and possessive, but that's just what men are like! Men are possessive!"
They laugh.
Me: "Okay, and her. She nags and complains, but that's just what women are like! Women complain!"
They laugh, especially her!
And they ask me "How do you know this stuff?!!"
Me: "I've kind of noticed. It's hard to miss when you're paying attention. Men are possessive, women nag. How can you not notice?"

This is followed of course by the whole "humans are imperfect, we're all imperfect" spiel, both of which they totally agreed with.

But it just puts things in perspective! To know that he's not a horrible boyfriend, she's not a horrible girlfriend, or at very least, you WONT find a better one out in the world, just be happy and cherish having this one, imperfect as they are.


It was LOTS of fun, I just have so much fun cheering people up and making their problems into not-such-a-big-deal after all (and note: In all I spent about 3 hours with them, we covered many topics, I always like to dig deeply, including asking people what their dream jobs are, and encouraging them to think about ways to pursue that - dreams are good, hopelessness stems from feeling unable to follow your dreams and I just point out, how sometimes, it's so easy to work towards your dream, you just have to get started)

I would of course tip my hat to any psychologist who forgets the little notepad and the diagnosis and just listens and offers heartfelt advice and amusing/heartening perspectives on life's difficulties. But I'm pretty sure they don't teach that in universities. They teach how to diagnose mental illness and prescribe pills.

They try to find the problems in a relationship, rather than pointing out the ways in which things aren't problems after all...

But it's their loss. Because their patients keep coming back time and time again with more problems. I don't have that problem in the least! Mine almost never come back! They go away happy .

Side note. I think I accidentally converted him to vegetarianism too. Because if I was paying for his groceries, he was going to be eating mostly vegetarian! And he asked me a lot about it and seemed to think it all sounded like a good idea (especially the part where I was willing to compromise while still extolling the virtues of vegetarianism), and he saw that what I put in the trolley, wasn't really bad at all, better than he was eating... and heck, when I'm around people, my enthusiasm for things is just contagious.
And yes, when I offer people counseling, I try to give them something rather than vice-verca. It's this thing called "generosity" and it really opens up someone to you in a way you have to experience to believe, heartfelt generosity is so rare in this world, a little bit can melt someone's heart.
If a shrink tried THAT tactic I'd be super-duper impressed.