[Abarricoss]

This is a cruel situation for you as you are basically accepting the other woman into your life with your boyfriend. As much as you love him, this sounds like torture for you.

When my wife started dating another man I loved her so much I also was willing to accept the relationship and take the scraps that I received from her. This was very damaging to my self-esteem, and ws torture, and it just ended with her leaving me for him ayway.

in this scenario, you may endure this painful arrangement and he may eventually leave you for the other woman anyway.

Cheaters are not regular folk, they are able to lie and be callous to someone who loves them. In some ways, they LIKE THIS arrangement and feel a sense of power from it. how are you going to feel when you realize yo are not a flesh/blood person, but a pawn playing a role.

I think you should start dating on the side and not tell him and find someone who wants you. Your love will fade.
good luck

[mireOpekrhype]

I didnt think I could be this much of a wreck I found out recently from a boyfriends now pregnant ex girlfriend that the one night stand they had was a 4 month relationship. He told me about the sex and then two weeks later told me about the baby..which he is glad about.. he says he wants me back and I want that too but I dont know how people get past this stuff he's in Florida Im in NH and we were together for ten years before this we had problems butu he said he was coming back and then this happened...he blamed me cause I wouldnt marry him before but he worked intermitantly and was never solid and my ex husband and I had a horrible marriage and I was afraid. I know how sordd this all sounds but I really love him cant imagine my life forever without him as rediculous as that may seem..I need some advice

[RayFairhurst]

You may not be able to imagine your life without him in it, but can you imagine your life with the ow and her child. If he is planning to be an active parent, then you need to be prepared for that possibility.

[mireOpekrhype]

I have thought of that he actrually said he was afraid she was going to sleep with another man and put his baby at riusk and thought if he slept with her it would make her behave and not mess around while she is pregnant..he says he loves only me and he is only doing this to keep his baby safe...am I so damaged by this that I somehow have almost rationalized this he says it would end as soon as the baby is born...???

[ambientambien]

Wait a second. Did you just say that your boyfriend said:

"I'm only sleeping with this other woman to keep my baby safe, but I really only love you."?!?!?!

If he did indeed say that, you need to run, run as fast as you can away from this guy. He is an A$$hole, causing you extreme amounts of pain... INTENTIONALLY.

[FloareTraurne]

Quote:

[VonErmad4]

Oh my goodness...oh my..I'm speechless and that is an effect I very seldom experience

You have already been in a horrible marriage....this is just as bad. He has managed to wash your brain of normal reasoning. This guy has really damaged your judging abilities.
I am so sorry and sad for whatever happened to you to cause you to swallow this rotten guy's nasty swill.....I will say a prayer that you will get the strength to run as fast and as far as you can from this nightmare.

[mireOpekrhype]

You know I may be damaged so I have made you all laugh what a silly thing to have come to a website for some empathy and support your right I have been devastated but the last thing I needed was to be told Im weak and basically stupid you have only a few tidbits of info On my situation Im glad I didnt devulge more there is no help for this your right I need to decide and be stronger but thanks all of you your just as jaded as I am now and thats
not how Im going to live my life naive or not.

[RayFairhurst]

Honey, you do have blinders on. This is not normal or healthy for you or him. He is using a pretty lame excuse in my estimation about him having sex with another woman. What do you think he and the other woman are saying about you behind your back? Do you think they are saying how kind you are to allow him to protect his child? Or do you think they are laughing because you are buying his crap?

Love isn't what this guy is giving you. He has exposed you to std's and you appear okay with it. If you came here for support for staying in a situation that is going to end badly for you, you are in the wrong place. But a word of advice. All the sites out, I don't know one, even loveshack, that will tell you to stay. It is not only wrong it is spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically damaging. I am a mother of a 23 year old and a 17 year old, there is no way in hell I would support that.....for anyone.

The things you said others said about you is really the way you view yourself. Because no one said those things. We don't' need your biography to know that this is wrong on every level. We wish you luck in finding someone who will tell you this is okay.

[VonErmad4]

Quote:

[ultimda horaf]

This is such a toxic relationship.

I want you to consider the following questions:

Are you deserving of a monogamous partner?
If so, why are you willing to settle for less than that?

Do you respect yourself? Really, do you respect and honour yourself? And don't take my question as a judgment. If you read my original post on this forum, you will see that when I discovered that my STBX was cheating on me, the first question I asked myself was,

How would a woman who respects herself respond to his betrayal? Answer: She would say 'NO MORE - I deserve to be in a relationship that is characterized by monogamy'

You need to love yourself, honey. Love does not cause pain. Love does not hurt. If you loved yourself, you would not stay in this relationship.

My god, in truth, he is callous.

KitKat