[Vitoethiche]

FOr those still in a relationship with a cheater and those recovering any tips for handling the holidays? For me it seems so sad having to pretend everything is ok for the sake of the family,,,,

[meridiasas]

I’m probably handling it in the worst way possible.

When we are together in the presence of other people, we act as if everything is normal and fine. When we are alone she gets both barrels if she says or does anything that pisses me off. In between I self medicate with a lot of alcohol.

Speaking of which… it’s time to head to the pub.

[ziIReIGS]

When I'm having a particularly hard time dealing with family and situations, I volunteer. In years past, instead of trying to sit across the Thanksgiving table from a total a**h*le and think murderous thoughts, I volunteered at the local homeless shelter. Or the Children's Hospital. I avoided a very miserable situation that would have left me seething for weeks; seeing kids with chemotherapy bottles helped me put things in perspective; I felt like I might be doing some good for someone else; and the family - never realizing that I was avoiding one of them - thought I was a wonderful person for volunteering!

It was a win-win situation, and I didn't have a hangover the next day! (or an outstanding police warrant against me for assault)

[lmHVYs8e]

My husband had an emotional affair earlier this year, and things are... interesting right now.

So far, we've been doing very well. But currently he is not speaking to his own family. We're a young couple, no kids, so it's just us for today and Christmas. My family is visiting the week before, but I don't know how long they're going to be staying. It's actually been nice for us, but we've been recovering from his affair since the summer.

It's rough though I can imagine, especially with children. I would say focus the most on them... making sure they're okay and comfortable.

[Jenisoisy]

She came here last night to use my computer and my land line.
3 phones on her lap, all beeping.
Said she was going to spend the night but after a phone call she was gone in a heartbeat.
She placed a craigslist personal and has replied to over 30 guys, gave most of them her cell number(s) (has 2 cell phones)..
In two weeks time she has become a wreck.
I have no family left so I am alone although I have friends who drop by.
I could put on a good drunk but that just makes things worse.
I start getting better then she comes over or calls and I revert.
She is screwing around with a lot of people, not just one.
Her reason for leaving was so she could screw around with many guys.
I finally got it through my head that there is no hope.
We have two choices.
To survive or to not survive.
I choose to survive but it ain't easy.
I am far better off without her.
I am having hotdogs for thanksgiving dinner.
Fast and easy.
Hang in there people...things will get better.

Pt

[FloareTraurne]

Well, it is Thanksgiving evening and I've had an okay day believe it or not. I'm at my daughters home with the entire family here, aunts/uncles, sister and her husband and friends. House full of people--including my STBX if you can believe it.

My daughter wanted to invite him and I told her it would be okay and it was. Of course, it is a bit surreal. We've been corgial and I really I have to admit with the house full I don't notice him that much. Every now and then I'll catch him looking at me or vice versa. Talk about a sad situation. It would be so easy to go and forget everything he did and just pretend things were like they were but it wouldn't be a marriage. More like a convenience.

I miss him and I miss my previous life. And I'm lonely so often. And I really really miss hugging and kissing someone. He was such an actor and such a user. Pretending to love me, accepting all my affection and devotion and then living another life when he wasn't around me.

What kind of evil person is he? He would hug me and then claim to have to work because he would rather spend hours jacking off to po)rn where women fight and hurt each other for his sick thrills. He can't have a soul and certainly doesn't have a conscience.

No, I don't want him back---Just my old life before I knew who he really is inside. At least I don't feel like sobbing all the time anymore. Those two years of crying were exhausting.

Hope everyone else out there survived the holidays.
SIS