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Old 02-25-2011, 07:52 PM   #1
MipRippoomamn

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Default Names changed to protect the stupid....
Yes Children, it's that time of the week again!



Me: Hello *** Computers, can I help you?

Cust: Yeah, we dropped a laptop off start of the week under the name of Susan. It was having a new screen fitted?

Me: OK, surname Susan? Let me just look for you... *search the workshop and completed jobs shelves, nothing* Are you sure it was booked in under Susan?

Cust: Yeah.

Me: The surname is Susan?

Cust: No, that's my real name.

Me: Real name? What's your "last" name then please?

Cust: Peckam.

Me: OK, Peckam, give me a moment *go searching again, still nothing* OK, I can't see anything, are you sure it was booked in under the name Peckam?

Cust: No, it wasn't booked in under my name, we left my boyfriends name.

Me: *internal sigh* OK. and what name is that please?

Cust: Ryan.

Me: Is that his last name?

Cust: No.

Me: Can I have his last name please? *or possibly something sharp to jab repeatedly into my wrist*

Cust: Walker

Me: OK, bear with me. *search again, still nothing* I can't see anything under those names, do you know the phone number that was left and perhaps I can identify it that way?

Cust: Erm... I dunno, my Dad dropped it off.

Me: Alright, does he share your surname?

Cust: No.

Me: What's his surname please?

Cust: Baxter.

Me: Alright, let me look again. *again, nothing under that name* I still can't see anything, what make and model was the laptop? Perhaps I can identify it from that?

Cust: Oh it's not with you!

Me: Pardon?

Cust: We picked it up on Wednesday, I just wanted to ask a question about upgrading it.

Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYXYmYq3kWc
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Old 02-25-2011, 08:17 PM   #2
Poothevokprot

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TBH, after I hadn't found it the first time I'd've asked if she was sure it was supposed to be at your shop, not another one - with the customers you have, it could have been anywhare...
Remember - they're generally inbred idiots so you have to ask these things.
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Old 02-25-2011, 08:19 PM   #3
Quiniacab

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I love your stories. They always brighten my day.
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:08 PM   #4
MipRippoomamn

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Mini rant incomming....

Why in the name of Satans fettid foreskin do people let their children answer the phone? I'm not talking 10 year old kids or teenagers, no. I'm talking Tommy or little Suzy, who's 4 and can't string together 3 god damn ****ing words without drooling on the phone. And the kid is clearly a moron anyway. The parents sit there in the background, nattering away whilst I have to try and convince some dribbling idiot child to pass the phone to "mummy and da da" just to get feedback on a job. AND ANOTHER THING, stop letting these same children record your answerphone messages, it's not cute, it's not funny and it really pisses me off!
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:15 PM   #5
Duseshoug

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Mini rant incomming....

Why in the name of Satans fettid foreskin do people let their children answer the phone? I'm not talking 10 year old kids or teenagers, no. I'm talking Tommy or little Suzy, who's 4 and can't string together 3 god damn ****ing words without drooling on the phone. And the kid is clearly a moron anyway. The parents sit there in the background, nattering away whilst I have to try and convince some dribbling idiot child to pass the phone to "mummy and da da" just to get feedback on a job. AND ANOTHER THING, stop letting these same children record your answerphone messages, it's not cute, it's not funny and it really pisses me off!
[rofl][rofl][rofl]

Thank goodness weekend is coming...
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:20 PM   #6
r5YOPDyk

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Mini rant incomming....

Why in the name of Satans fettid foreskin do people let their children answer the phone? I'm not talking 10 year old kids or teenagers, no. I'm talking Tommy or little Suzy, who's 4 and can't string together 3 god damn ****ing words without drooling on the phone. And the kid is clearly a moron anyway. The parents sit there in the background, nattering away whilst I have to try and convince some dribbling idiot child to pass the phone to "mummy and da da" just to get feedback on a job. AND ANOTHER THING, stop letting these same children record your answerphone messages, it's not cute, it's not funny and it really pisses me off!
You have serious issues dude [surrender]
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:33 PM   #7
MipRippoomamn

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You have serious issues dude [surrender]
Sometimes it's just my violent psychotic rage that gets me through the day.
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:40 PM   #8
provigil

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Sometimes it's just my violent psychotic rage that gets me through the day.
If ever a man wasn't suited to a customer facing job, it's you [rofl]
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:46 PM   #9
MipRippoomamn

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If ever a man wasn't suited to a customer facing job, it's you [rofl]
Oh, it's internal, people I deal with have no clue how much I want to gut them and make a hat of their skin

I'm actually the one everyone at work asks to deal with angry customers, cause I'm the only one who doesn't lose his temper when confronted with it. Might be why I have so much built up anger ready to burst out unexpectedly next wednesday in a crowded shopping centre at around 3pm....
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:13 PM   #10
Poothevokprot

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Oh, it's internal, people I deal with have no clue how much I want to gut them and make a hat of their skin

I'm actually the one everyone at work asks to deal with angry customers, cause I'm the only one who doesn't lose his temper when confronted with it. Might be why I have so much built up anger ready to burst out unexpectedly next wednesday in a crowded shopping centre at around 3pm....
Take plenty of ammo, and practice changing mag's!
Start in the complaints department...

In case the Police see this, I'm only kidding - honest ...
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Old 02-26-2011, 05:34 AM   #11
Inconykic

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Me: Hello *** Computers, can I help you?

Cust: Yeah, we dropped a laptop off start of the week under the name of Susan. It was having a new screen fitted?

Me: OK, surname Susan? Let me just look for you... *search the workshop and completed jobs shelves, nothing* Are you sure it was booked in under Susan?
I can see a slight flaw in you algorithm. You assumed that they were phoning up about a current job. Perhaps after the first line you should have said "how can I help you?" It sounds like she was just trying to recall the the name and the type of job that was done to perhaps see if you remember the laptop. However I think you immediately went to check up the current jobs in your database. Perhaps after describing her previous job she would have asked about the upgrade, but it seems you cut in early and she thought you were looking up information about the past job. Unless past jobs should appear too, in which case wtf bbq they have no idea what name they put the job under.
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Old 02-26-2011, 06:06 AM   #12
MipRippoomamn

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I can see a slight flaw in you algorithm. You assumed that they were phoning up about a current job. Perhaps after the first line you should have said "how can I help you?" It sounds like she was just trying to recall the the name and the type of job that was done to perhaps see if you remember the laptop. However I think you immediately went to check up the current jobs in your database. Perhaps after describing her previous job she would have asked about the upgrade, but it seems you cut in early and she thought you were looking up information about the past job. Unless past jobs should appear too, in which case wtf bbq they have no idea what name they put the job under.
Indeed, however normally people start with "Hi, we picked up our laptop wednesday and would like to ask a few questions". Opening with "We dropped our laptop off" implies the system is still with us, at least in 99% of cases that's how it works.
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Old 02-26-2011, 07:02 AM   #13
Inconykic

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Indeed, however normally people start with "Hi, we picked up our laptop wednesday and would like to ask a few questions". Opening with "We dropped our laptop off" implies the system is still with us, at least in 99% of cases that's how it works.
Yes their wording was funny and you could rightfully assume they are talking about a current job.
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Old 02-26-2011, 03:24 PM   #14
PristisoliTer

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What i want to know, why was none of the names was in your database record even if it was picked up?

And its your own fault for not asking her what she wanted instead of searching for her name in the database.

Yes, i have made same mistake as you have, but in the past the name of the person and the fact that the PC/laptop was picked up shows up when i had to search for it.
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