[DoterForeva]

How do I do this?

So I broke my tongue. I don't know how, and I don't know how to fix it. It's like the whole right side has been cut with a knife. I suspect I burnt out the membranes on that side afting eat a rather large bag of salt and vinegar chips on Saturday night. It's ridiculously painful, though. I literally can't eat or speak. I think I've said 20 words in the past two days; anything I couldn't hum or gesture with my hands. It's too painful to eat. I've had two mini yogurts, 6 popsicles, and barely a few spoonfuls of chicken noodle soup. I kept crying when the noodles got stuck under my tongue, though, so I gave up. I'm starving, still in pain, and I suspect everyone thinks I'm being rude to them because I can't explain this whole story to them vocally. I don't know what to do. I have a union meeting at 9:30am tomorrow. I figure I have three options: 1) don't go and face severe consequences next Monday (long story, but it has to do with a woman who was fired last month), 2) do enough heroin in the morning that it numbs the pain, but I'm worried about falling asleep in the board room and peeing my pants, or 3) bring Pictionary, hastily draw images on a notepad, and point furiously at the pad until the union understands my response... hopefully before the timer expires.

I think I need a fourth option.