[hotelhyatt]

Welli had a txt from her this afternoon saying that its hurting her and when im hurt she feels hurt and that sh will call me tonight...... really dont know what im going to do if she carrys on this biblical nonsense, maybe ill just stick it out and see if she comes around... its hard thao because we both i ndifferent countrys at the moment.

[emuffette]

Welli had a txt from her this afternoon saying that its hurting her and when im hurt she feels hurt and that sh will call me tonight...... really dont know what im going to do if she carrys on this biblical nonsense, maybe ill just stick it out and see if she comes around... its hard thao because we both i ndifferent countrys at the moment.

She has just had a deep spiritual experience that at this time is beyond your range of understanding. Thats not your fault or hers.

Try to be patient and cut her a little slack as she absorbs what this means in her life. It doesnt mean she doesnt care about you. She is just trying to figure out how she can balance what she feels she needs to do to be a good christian and serve her conception of god and still live a good life in a world thats not of god.

If she is such a strong believer and you arent it will become increasingly difficult for the two of you to be together. Be prepared that your relationship might come to an end because it is difficult for two people with radically different religious views to co-exist in a relationship.

There is no right or wrong here. If she ends the relationship she is doing so because she feels she must to preserve her immortal soul and her relationship with god.

[hotelhyatt]

She has just had a deep spiritual experience that at this time is beyond your range of understanding. Thats not your fault or hers.

Try to be patient and cut her a little slack as she absorbs what this means in her life. It doesnt mean she doesnt care about you. She is just trying to figure out how she can balance what she feels she needs to do to be a good christian and serve her conception of god and still live a good life in a world thats not of god.

If she is such a strong believer and you arent it will become increasingly difficult for the two of you to be together. Be prepared that your relationship might come to an end because it is difficult for two people with radically different religious views to co-exist in a relationship.

There is no right or wrong here. If she ends the relationship she is doing so because she feels she must to preserve her immortal soul and her relationship with god.

I understand you, and i should give her some time, but see to me without sounding condesending that last bit just sounds insane to me .

if god came to me then i would believe, but no such thing has happend, so im stil a man of science and not faith, and i believe to believe in something not matter what it is, religeon or whatever for own personall gains is very very disheartening and a very selfish act. if you believe in god then kool, but to believe in him just to get to heaven, wich i think most do is wrong and hypercritical.

[gambleingsites]

I would have to agree with Inept on most points, shes esentially given you an ultimatum, shes testing you.

How long have you been with her? (might have missed it in the thread if its already there).

By saying "i[you] can accept it or not be with her and shes not worried because she knows jesus loves her" she may be testing your dedication to the relationship, whether you truly love her, whether the relationship isnt just about sex. By taking away sex (and using religion as an excuse because its harder to counter argue due to personal experiences with god etc...) it could be a test of your patience or commitment to her.

I am very skeptical about this to be honest mate, if my GF said that to me, id tell her by asking me to make that choice (to accept this new holy ghost thing or not) shes already setting herself up to be the loser.

Just my 2c worth of ramblings

[hotelhyatt]

I would have to agree with Inept on most points, shes esentially given you an ultimatum, shes testing you.

How long have you been with her? (might have missed it in the thread if its already there).

By saying "i[you] can accept it or not be with her and shes not worried because she knows jesus loves her" she may be testing your dedication to the relationship, whether you truly love her, whether the relationship isnt just about sex. By taking away sex (and using religion as an excuse because its harder to counter argue due to personal experiences with god etc...) it could be a test of your patience or commitment to her.

I am very skeptical about this to be honest mate, if my GF said that to me, id tell her by asking me to make that choice (to accept this new holy ghost thing or not) shes already setting herself up to be the loser.

Just my 2c worth of ramblings

The worrying thing is i dont think shes doing it to test me, i think shes doing it for her own gain/reasons regardless of me.

[Pateeffelty]

I understand you, and i should give her some time, but see to me without sounding condesending that last bit just sounds insane to me .

if god came to me then i would believe, but no such thing has happend, so im stil a man of science and not faith, and i believe to believe in something not matter what it is, religeon or whatever for own personall gains is very very disheartening and a very selfish act. if you believe in god then kool, but to believe in him just to get to heaven, wich i think most do is wrong and hypercritical.

Sounds to me from what you just wrote that you two are very different people. Had you thought that maybe you two weren't meant for eachother? I mean can the agnostic/aetheist ever coexist in a relationship with the ultra-religious when one is always thinking that what the other feels very strongly about is stupid/doesn't exist? Maybe I'm way off base but this is just something for you to think about.

[hotelhyatt]

Sounds to me from what you just wrote that you two are very different people. Had you thought that maybe you two weren't meant for eachother? I mean can the agnostic/aetheist ever coexist in a relationship with the ultra-religious when one is always thinking that what the other feels very strongly about is stupid/doesn't exist? Maybe I'm way off base but this is just something for you to think about.

I dont think its stupid and doesnt exsist, im open minded to everything. the only time i feel its stupid is when its taken to its extremes. liek saying i dont care about anything because jesus loves me.

[emuffette]

I understand you, and i should give her some time, but see to me without sounding condesending that last bit just sounds insane to me .

if god came to me then i would believe, but no such thing has happend, so im stil a man of science and not faith, and i believe to believe in something not matter what it is, religeon or whatever for own personall gains is very very disheartening and a very selfish act. if you believe in god then kool, but to believe in him just to get to heaven, wich i think most do is wrong and hypercritical.

I understand what you are saying and I dont feel like you are being condescending.. But to truly understand where she is coming from you would have to have a background and/or more experience in this type of belief.

My late mother was a charismatic christian and I was raised in that kind of church. I just hoped that my experience would help you to see that it isnt so much a question of choosing whether or not to sleep with you but her need and desire to uphold certain standards held by other believers.

This is new to her to a degree and she will need some time to form her own opinions about what is right and wrong for her as a christian instead of just listening to others..

Has she always held strong convictions or is this something totally new?

[hotelhyatt]

I understand what you are saying and I dont feel like you are being condescending.. But to truly understand where she is coming from you would have to have a background and/or more experience in this type of belief.

My late mother was a charismatic christian and I was raised in that kind of church. I just hoped that my experience would help you to see that it isnt so much a question of choosing whether or not to sleep with you but her need and desire to uphold certain standards held by other believers.

This is new to her to a degree and she will need some time to form her own opinions about what is right and wrong for her as a christian instead of just listening to others..

Has she always held strong convictions or is this something totally new?

I think you hit the nail o nthe head there, this as only come across since the new meeting shes gone to, wich she has onyl attended 3 tiems, and after the 2nd time told me she wasnt sure if this meeting with these people was right for her.

She has always been very religous before yes but never has it come between us liek this, we usually both respect each others views, ive even been to church with her and cisited cathederals. as i said i am a open minded person, but more of a scince person who needs proof... its hard for me to believe in something by wich all natural science laws doesnt exsist.

[nermise]

People actually believe this speaking in tongues rubbish and that it really is a gift from God?

From Wikipedia (yeah yeah, I know):

"Many linguists generally regard most glossolalia as lacking any identifiable semantics, syntax, or morphology."

"...glossolalists tend to have more need of authority figures and appeared to have had more crises in their lives"

"In 2006, at the University of Pennsylvania, researchers, under the direction of Andrew Newberg, MD, completed the world’s first brain-scan study of a group of Pentecostal Practitioners while they were speaking in tongues. The study found that while participants were exercising glossolalia, activity in the language centers of the brain actually decreased, while activity in the emotional centers of brain increased."

Dunno about anyone else, but that kind of clears it up for me.

[gambleingsites]

I understand what you are saying and I dont feel like you are being condescending.. But to truly understand where she is coming from you would have to have a background and/or more experience in this type of belief.

My late mother was a charismatic christian and I was raised in that kind of church. I just hoped that my experience would help you to see that it isnt so much a question of choosing whether or not to sleep with you but her need and desire to uphold certain standards held by other believers.

This is new to her to a degree and she will need some time to form her own opinions about what is right and wrong for her as a christian instead of just listening to others..

Has she always held strong convictions or is this something totally new?

If they slept together previously surely her convictions couldnt have been that strong as a roman catholic. Do you think shes religious when it suits her and not religious when it doesnt? (previous to the holy ghost incident?)

The fact that it has appeared out of the blue from this one incident makes me really skeptical, she is either weak minded and easily influenced, she is testing you or she is doing in purely for personal gain as you said. To totally disregard you and say she doesnt care what happens cause jesus loves her, to me, is either a test (as ive said) or she is just one incredibly selfish person.

Ask her, would jesus support disregarding someones feelings of love, commitment and compassion towards another?

Edit: You claim she has always been strongly religous, but she glady participated in pre marital sex which the bible DIRECTLY says is a sin? Sounds to me like she may be religous by convienience, taking the parts which suit her and disregarding the ones that dont

[hotelhyatt]

If they slept together previously surely her convictions couldnt have been that strong as a roman catholic. Do you think shes religious when it suits her and not religious when it doesnt? (previous to the holy ghost incident?)

The fact that it has appeared out of the blue from this one incident makes me really skeptical, she is either weak minded and easily influenced, she is testing you or she is doing in purely for personal gain as you said. To totally disregard you and say she doesnt care what happens cause jesus loves her, to me, is either a test (as ive said) or she is just one incredibly selfish person.

Ask her, would jesus support disregarding someones feelings of love, commitment and compassion towards another?

Edit: You claim she has always been strongly religous, but she glady participated in pre marital sex which the bible DIRECTLY says is a sin? Sounds to me like she may be religous by convienience, taking the parts which suit her and disregarding the ones that dont

im just totally confused and feeling really down at the moment. i know i should leave her alone now but its dam hard.

[hotelhyatt]

Just spoke on skype... and..... i cant be happy unless i have god in my life noone can be happy if they dont have god.... shes not sure if she love sme anymore, not sure if she wants to be with me any more and cant make any kind of commitment to me to reasure me of out future together.

GREAT !!!

[PickEmUp]

Just spoke on skype... and..... i cant be happy unless i have god in my life noone can be happy if they dont have god.... shes not sure if she love sme anymore, not sure if she wants to be with me any more and cant make any kind of commitment to me to reasure me of out future together.

GREAT !!!

[no]

shes not sure if she love sme anymore, +

then tells me shes not going to have sex with me again untill we get married +

she says: cant be happy unless i have god in my life noone can be happy if they dont have god =

Crappy relationship

IMO

[Shemker394]

[no]

+

+

=

Crappy relationship

IMO

QFT...


If a girl tells you she is not sure she loves you yet she is still trying to make you cling onto the relationship, that is called 'leading you on'.

My personal advice, if she wants to use emotional blackmail, in an attempt to change your ways without understandin what she is asking of you (becuase basically she is saying "I am not going to change but I expect you to", then it is obviously goign to turn out to be a very troublesome relationship.

Easieer said than done, yes, but in the long run you will be happier with someone who respects you enough not to lead you on a wild goose chase by withholding love and feelings for you just becuase she wants to make you feel bad. It's selfish.

[hotelhyatt]

QFT...


If a girl tells you she is not sure she loves you yet she is still trying to make you cling onto the relationship, that is called 'leading you on'.

My personal advice, if she wants to use emotional blackmail, in an attempt to change your ways without understandin what she is asking of you (becuase basically she is saying "I am not going to change but I expect you to", then it is obviously goign to turn out to be a very troublesome relationship.

Easieer said than done, yes, but in the long run you will be happier with someone who respects you enough not to lead you on a wild goose chase by withholding love and feelings for you just becuase she wants to make you feel bad. It's selfish.

She used to lvoe me, i have no doubt about that... but ever since shes gone to those nutters in her town its all changed.

Thing is i was going to give it a go and go along with it, but then she starts saying shes not sure about this and that and cant answer if we will be together in the future im like wTF why should i even bother waisting my time.

[themsrsdude]

O.k i´m gonna lead you through this,..


Call her

Wait for her to pick up the phone

Ask her "Have you gone ****ing nuts ?"

Wait for reply,...

Hang up

[Ilaubuas]

O.k i´m gonna lead you through this,..


Call her

Wait for her to pick up the phone

Ask her "Have you gone ****ing nuts ?"

Wait for reply,...

Hang up

Good plan. Seriously dude, your girl's been brainwashed.

[FLOMOUSLY]

Walsall and Wolves are full of poles you could bag another in a heartbeat :P

On a serious note if she is taking the stuff she is talking about more seriously than you that tells you all you need to know about the girl.

[xochex]

look at it this way mate, she is going to be very lonely if she honestly believes that

sometimes women are just not worth it, and i can speak from experience off the back of a serious 2 year relationship